can you be to hard on your self?

[noeymc]

i think i expect way to much out of my self is that possible i feel like if i dont break at least 180 i let my whole team down my avg is about 179 or real close to it after yesterdays horrendous performance and once i start doing bad my emotions just start getting the better of me but i feel like i have to be the best

[Davec13]

I just play each frame as it's the first frame. The more pressure you put on yourself the more likely you are to screw something up. Once you make a mistake you continue on the downward spiral.

Some people do thrive on the pressure though and unless there is something riding on the shot they are off.

[75lockwood]

absolutely, i tend to do this far to much, i bowl one bad game and get irritated, then if i don't go calm down the night becomes a wash.

just relax, your there to have fun, don't worry about the scores worry about the frame at hand

[billf]

My expectations are high but it's just a game. I realize that at the end of the night what I bowl won't affect any other aspect of my life, cure cancer or anything else with any importance. I am competitive though so I do enjoy blowing out certain opponents. I do blame myself for two of my three teams falling from first to second place the last week. As captain and anchor it's my job to pick up any slack my teammates leave or make up any difference when our opponents are bowling well over average. I failed in games two and three last night and only Derrick bowled well last Monday. Good leaders lead by example. Getting mad, wasting any pin count and generally acting like you've never been there before are behaviors that are best kept under wraps and out of the mind.

[noeymc]

i think i need to learn to do that cuz the ten pin is normaly my bread and butter and i missed it like 8 times 99% of the time i make that and yeah

[MisterSinister]

I have a teammate who gets down on himself all the time. I try to pump him up, tell him he is better than he gives himself credit for. Unfirtunatly, I can't get through to him. If he just listened to me, and believed in himself, he could be a very good bowler. Keep your head up, and remember, it's just a game.

[billf]

It pisses me off when I miss any spare. Just drop it mentally before you take your seat. Never let your opponent know that you are susceptible to letting them get in your head. Like poker, keep them from knowing it bothered you that you missed anything. Now when I make a big split I do celebrate real quick. The flip side is this also keeps you from showing up your opponent.
I made the comment to an opponent three weeks ago when he struck out in the tenth (I still creamed him), "Not bad for an old man". I though we were the same age but he is 12 years older. I woke a sleeping giant and he took me to school and whipped my butt in front of the whole class games two and three. The comment didn't bother him but did give him a reason to drink less and focus more, motivation to do well.

[MisterSinister]

It pisses me off when I miss any spare. Just drop it mentally before you take your seat. Never let your opponent know that you are susceptible to letting them get in your head. Like poker, keep them from knowing it bothered you that you missed anything. Now when I make a big split I do celebrate real quick. The flip side is this also keeps you from showing up your opponent.
I made the comment to an opponent three weeks ago when he struck out in the tenth (I still creamed him), "Not bad for an old man". I though we were the same age but he is 12 years older. I woke a sleeping giant and he took me to school and whipped my butt in front of the whole class games two and three. The comment didn't bother him but did give him a reason to drink less and focus more, motivation to do well.

I agree with everything you said. When I know my opponent is down, and on the ropes, that's when I can drop the KO with a strike, or two. I will also never comment on an opponents game. Someone did that to me, when they made a comment that I was bowling far above average. The next two games, I smashed them by even more. Even in a recreational league, it is still a competition. Mental games can win, or lose you games real quick.

[75lockwood]

It pisses me off when I miss any spare. Just drop it mentally before you take your seat. Never let your opponent know that you are susceptible to letting them get in your head. Like poker, keep them from knowing it bothered you that you missed anything. Now when I make a big split I do celebrate real quick. The flip side is this also keeps you from showing up your opponent.
I made the comment to an opponent three weeks ago when he struck out in the tenth (I still creamed him), "Not bad for an old man". I though we were the same age but he is 12 years older. I woke a sleeping giant and he took me to school and whipped my butt in front of the whole class games two and three. The comment didn't bother him but did give him a reason to drink less and focus more, motivation to do well.

LOL bill, it seems your coach's skills can work against you, you sure do know how to motivate people :D

[billf]

LOL bill, it seems your coach's skills can work against you, you sure do know how to motivate people :D

I should know my opponent better. What I thought would screw with him instead motivated him. The best mental part is when I tell them I'm going to ruin their line during warm ups then do it only to change balls and lines when we start keeping score. Even if I didn't succeed in burning up the line the change I make leaves that thought in their head.

[MisterSinister]

I should know my opponent better. What I thought would screw with him instead motivated him. The best mental part is when I tell them I'm going to ruin their line during warm ups then do it only to change balls and lines when we start keeping score. Even if I didn't succeed in burning up the line the change I make leaves that thought in their head.

I've done that too. I've pulled out a heavily sanded ball, and practiced with that. With my high rev rate, I just chewed up my opponents oil, and let them know what I was doing. Then I pull out a different ball, and move inside of my practice line. Either it works cause you are in thier head, or I do eat thier oil, sometimes both. All I know is in my league i am among the league leaders in matches won.

[J Anderson]

To get back to the original question, yes you can be too hard on yourself but its hard to say where that line is. The truth is that we need a certain amount of stress in our lives, and to bowl really well we need some amount of pressure. How much is too much may change from week to week. I've seen the same person spiral into worse and worse shots after not carrying a few tenpins, yet other nights a missed spare will inspire him to strike out the rest of the game.

As to Billf and MisterSinister, there have been times when I've been tempted to play mind games on opponents. I don't really have the revs or the equipment to screw with somebody's line, but I do know how to get in some people's heads, how to push their buttons and make them lose focus.
I don't do it because I want to beat you when you're playing your best. It's not like I need to win to put food on the table and any advantage could be justified by that need.

[billf]

John, I've been doing it with the kids in youth league. The 12 and up bunch. They talk trash so I've been using it as a tool to teach them how to block junk out and focus. My project the last week bowled a 181 with a 130 average her first game with me taunting her. Her brother loved it until it was his turn. He averages 170 but only shot a 113 under the same conditions. Now she knows she can handle the pressure of a school match and he is meeting me Mon and Tue at the center for help with his mental game while observing an adult league. BTW, she is 15 and he is 17.

[MisterSinister]

If you can teach kids to block out distractions at an early age it will benifit them greatly in the end. I will go bowl practice games on a Saturday afternoon. My house knows me, and they know I'm pretty good, and I take my bowling fairly serious. When I show up they always tell me that they can't put me by myslef, there's so many kids that they have to put me next to children. I tell them "I know, that's why I come down at this time." It help me concentrate. If I can bowl well with 25 brats running around screaming, throwing balls when the gate it down, and messing around, then I can bowl well anywhere. It's great mental training, block out the distractions. Don't let anything in your head. It may be a little off topic, but in the end it's all about the mental game. Don't let it be your enemy, you need it to be an ally.

[noeymc]

i wish people would talk crap to me it makes me do everything better but there alll so nice and are like you got it shake it off dang nice people :(

[billf]

Then do it to yourself. Just picture somebody you don't like so well talking trash to you or about you. It works for me. I do better with pressure and always have. I practice during the birthday parties to gain focus so all I hear on the approach are the voices in my head. Nobody can taunt you like you can taunt yourself.

[MisterSinister]

Then do it to yourself. Just picture somebody you don't like so well talking trash to you or about you.

Like the Waterboy. Water sucks, it really really sucks.

[75lockwood]

this is an interesting idea, being able to focus and bowl well under pressure is a great skill to have.

i have been personally been dealing with a similar situation in my youth league this year, there are a bunch of new young bowlers this year, keeping them on track and teaching them while trying to focus on my own game has been a challenge, but i think if i can master it my mental game will be better than ever

[noeymc]

noise and stuff dont bug me its my self i put my self down if i let my arm go right ill like yell at my self i need to figure out how not to yell at my self

[billf]

Don't do it out loud. You will still hear it in your head. Instead of getting mad at yourself change it around and tell yourself, "that was a mistake, do it better next time."

[Zothen]

13 yrs ago I used to be hard on myself,i'd throw tantrums to no end and just whip the ball down the lane in anger. 1 day I found myself without a team and one of my league mates asks if I knew why I was'nt on a team and I said everyone told me their teams are filled and I know at least 3 that need a bowler,he tells me no one wants to bowl with me cause of my attitude and i'm like you serious and he says yes. He then tells me he'll let me on his team,but,if I get mad i'm off the team and out of the league. Long story short I started to meditate before bowling and whatever happens,happens. Now i'm a much better bowler!

Moral of the story-A spare is just as important as a strike!

Zothen

[JaMau24]

I had an awful attitude as a youth bowler years ago, and I've got a lot better now. I do have an awful temper and I really try to not let it get the best of me, however there are times I might clap my hands on a bad shot, or curse under my breath (probably not as quiet as I'd like to be). That being said, I'm proud of how far I've come, and hopefully will continue getting better.

This season, I've really tried to keep it in better. Sometimes I even wonder if my opponent thinks I'm having fun when I'm bowling because I show absolutely no emotion now. Get a strike, turn around and come back. Leave a 10 pin on a perfect shot, don't even bat an eye, turn around, come back and shoot the spare. Bowl a 250-290, no emotion. Miss a spare, turn around, come back. No emotion. This helps me remain focused. ESPECIALLY on the 10 pin. I used to get so frustrated when I'd leave one on a perfect shot, that I wouldn't be focused on picking it up, and I'd miss it. Sure, there are times when I miss a spare that I'm screaming INSIDE my head, but I really do my best not to show any emotion.

I've never really been much for celebrating a strike either, or good games. Throw this in the "You've been there before" category, so I never really fist pump or anything. I have no issues with anyone that wants to show emotion (positive emotion). People yelling, cursing loudly, hitting equipment etc., I don't like that, and they are only hurting their game.

[noeymc]

idk the girl on my team strikes and does some funny dance we where all bowling so bad last sat i added it to my game for the last one and my team won that one by 150? or 200? some where in the pins to give us a 3/4 for this week thats after we gave up 89 for handicap and ten cuz one of our bowlers didnt show up

[The German Shepherd]

It pisses me off when I miss any spare. Just drop it mentally before you take your seat. Never let your opponent know that you are susceptible to letting them get in your head. Like poker, keep them from knowing it bothered you that you missed anything. Now when I make a big split I do celebrate real quick. The flip side is this also keeps you from showing up your opponent.
I made the comment to an opponent three weeks ago when he struck out in the tenth (I still creamed him), "Not bad for an old man". I though we were the same age but he is 12 years older. I woke a sleeping giant and he took me to school and whipped my butt in front of the whole class games two and three. The comment didn't bother him but did give him a reason to drink less and focus more, motivation to do well.

I know how that works. MY mouth is a perfect size 11D....

Jay

[The German Shepherd]

i think i expect way to much out of my self is that possible i feel like if i dont break at least 180 i let my whole team down my avg is about 179 or real close to it after yesterdays horrendous performance and once i start doing bad my emotions just start getting the better of me but i feel like i have to be the best

One of my problems is that I tend to beat myself up pretty badly. Having a short memory when it comes to mistakes is a very good thing...

jay

[75lockwood]

One of my problems is that I tend to beat myself up pretty badly. Having a short memory when it comes to mistakes is a very good thing...

jay

Learn to laugh at yourself! LOl, i do it all the time, i completely miss an easy shot and i can't help but laugh at my own stupidity. now the shots where i make slight mistakes that cost a lot (missing a 10 but hitting the 6) those i get annoyed with lol

[Hammer]

Getting mad at yourself when you don't get that spare or strike is a waste of energy. If I miss something I just cuss under my breath and think I will try to do better the next frame. I have had times where I open the first two frames and then string 3 or 4 strikes in a row and then spare and strike the rest of the way. That is the way bowling is. Don't crucify yourself when you have a bad frame because you don't know what you will do the next frame or the next few frames. If you don't spend any time practicing you don't have a right to be mad at yourself. You can't think that you are automatically going to be a good bowler without practice. If you want to be better take at least one i hour lesson to get things right in your game. Then practice what you learned in your lesson about the approach, hand positions to make the ball hook or go straight, targeting etc. Plus you have to remember that you are not a pro and you are not doing this for a living. You are doing this for fun and to be with friends. If you luck out and have a great night enjoy what you just did. If you have a bad night just say to yourself oh well, that's bowling for ya. When you think about it bowling is like life, you have to take the good with the bad. When you get stressed you waste your energy so by the time you are in the third game you are exhausted and have nothing left. Accept the fact that some of your games will be good and some will be nasty. Don't let it get your goat. As long as you are trying to do your best that is all you can ask of yourself. Sometimes you just don't have it. SO WHAT! LET IT GO.