Bowling Anxiety...

[DrOcktagon]

It's an ordeal for me every time I go bowling. I try to practice in the early weekday afternoons so it will be less of a problem, but unless the place is completely empty, it's still a problem. Let me try to explain.....

I obviously have my own equipment, so when I practice I get there with my own ball bag, pull out my fancy bowling balls, put on my fancy bowling shoes, put tape on my thumb, put a brace on my arm(now that I've switched to the power sleeve I'll be putting that on instead of the brace, which actually makes my anxiety worse), and stretch for a couple minutes. After doing all that, I feel like everyone around me is going to have certain expectations about my bowling skill. To make it worse, I'm a very slow starter. It takes a few minutes and a few balls to loosen me up. I also throw my first couple shots at half speed.

Throwing that first shot is always incredibly nerve-wracking, and I usually want to crawl in a hole afterwards. Once I get loose, I'm more or less fine, but I know how bowlers are. Bowlers like to watch and internally critique other bowlers. There's nothing wrong with that, I certainly do it. So if there are any other halfway decent bowlers in the house, I feel like their eyes are burning into my back during those first shots, judging me. I always feel like Dennis Hopper in 'Blue Velvet'; I just wanna yell "DON'T YOU F-ING LOOK AT ME!!!"

It happens quite a bit where I'll throw a shot and turn to walk back to the circle and notice multiple sets of eyes openly watching me bowl. If I'm throwing it well, I actually like and appreciate the attention, but when I'm having a bad day - which is often - it makes me more and more anxious. Just the other day I hit the alley, and within 5 or 10 minutes this guy just sits down at my table and starts watching me bowl. I didn't mind, I introduced myself, he's a nice guy and a regular there, but I was having a rough day and was pretty embarassed by the way I was throwing it.

Does anyone else experience anything like this? Am I just crazy and in need of medication? Any stories about a particularly anxiety-riddled day on the lanes?

[ecub]

It happens. Just ignore it. Hopefully you should be able to bowl better games, once you warm up. Then when people look over and see the rest of the frames, they can figure out your first few balls was just to warm up. Then when they see you again, they will know you're a good bowler, but just need those "warm up" games. Do you bowl in a league? You'll even get more crap talk from your own teammates.

[billf]

My first warm up shot usually cleans the right gutter. I even have been known to do that during a match. It's not a big deal, the ball return still brings it back. I don't get upset or nervous. The only expectations that are causing your anxiety are your own. The one thing that makes other bowlers happy while your bowling is if you're bowling poorly. So it seems as though it's not expectations that are the root of this or even fear of failure but rather fear of success. For whatever reason, I get the impression that you don't think you're good enough to bowl at the level you're capable of.

Then again, I'm not a psychologist.

[SmilingBowler]

I've been there, especially when I go to practice by myself. Something about doing it alone can mean a different level of mental grit to survive. I would recommend buddying up with someone from league or maybe finding someone around your age or skill level who you see at the lanes during practice. If nothing else, it will help you focus attention on his bowling and your bowling together and not so much on what others are doing.

It is a mental part of the game, similar to how shooting singles is very different than shooting doubles or team events in a tournament. There are different levels of mental grit required. Mainly because you don't have that outlet to tell you to "shake it off" after a tough break or to fist bump or high-five when you pick up a tough spare. That kind of encouragement can only happen when bowling with someone and it relaxes the mind; you won't feel like everyone is watching.

About the first few reps. I do the same thing... I warm up stretching and winding my arm similar to a pitcher would in the bullpen, loosening the shoulder. The first 3-5 balls I throw are a lower backswing and much less follow through. I'm just warming up with those first shots. I don't know anyone who can take a ball out of the bag and throw in full game mode and continue to throw at that rate for three games without doing something that may cause a negative effect. Sometimes guys just gas out early if they do that, other times they can actually do damage to their shoulder, elbow or wrist.

I'm no spring chicken and though I sure hope I haven't reached middle age at 32, I take every precaution and I take my time warming up. There's nothing wrong with that. Besides, I'd rather chuck it in the gutter in the first few practice balls than do it in the 9th frame any day. Sometimes I feel I bowl better when I get that monkey off my back early. LOL!

[J Anderson]

It's an ordeal for me every time I go bowling. I try to practice in the early weekday afternoons so it will be less of a problem, but unless the place is completely empty, it's still a problem. Let me try to explain.....

Does anyone else experience anything like this? Am I just crazy and in need of medication? Any stories about a particularly anxiety-riddled day on the lanes?

I'm a bowler, not a doctor, but I don't think you're anywhere near crazy. We all have our differences with what makes us uncomfortable. As a kid I was really shy, I still don't really go out of my way to introduce myself to new people. I found out in my early twenties that, not only that I didn't mind getting up and talking in front of 50 to 100 strangers, I really enjoy it. I get a big kick when somebody walking by while I'm bowling stops and does a double take when they notice me switch hands between shots.

I would suggest going when the lanes are busier. When the lanes are almost empty any bowler is going to be the main attraction, especially one who looks like he should know what he's doing. When the place is closer to being packed, there's less chance of anyone focusing on you. Of course your subconscious mind is still going to think every one is watching, but if you can force yourself to go when its crowded a few times you may acclimate yourself and get rid of the anxiety.

[SmilingBowler]

John makes a real good point there when he suggests going when its more crowded. Two reasons why: like he said, not so many eyes will be on what you're doing and the other, as I pointed out earlier, you could easily find a doubles practice partner. Bowling alongside someone can only help your game. I used to get frustrated at myself for the simple little mistakes; like missing my mark or overpowering my swing.

Then I started practicing with a guy from the alley. We were familiar with each other; bowled next to each other one week. The next week he asked me if I wanted to double up so we could switch lanes and get into a good rhythm. That lasted for the rest of the summer and the following year my average increased about 18 pins from mid point the year before to mid point of the latter. Less pressure. More fun.

[DrOcktagon]

It's weird. It's something that I've always dealt with, but I think coming back after such a long layoff is making it worse. I'm no stranger to bowling in front of people. I bowled on YABA leagues every Saturday from age 5-18, bowled numerous state youth tourneys, regularly bowled the PK All Star Junior Regional Tour as a teenager, transitioned to men's and mixed adult leagues, and was even on the winning team in my area's most competetive men's league...but all this was over a decade ago.

Over the last 11-12 years that I've been away from bowling, my nerves and anxiety have apparently gotten worse. Like I said, though, when I'm throwing the ball well I like to see people watching me. It boosts my confidence. But when my game is off, or when I'm warming up, I just wish I could create a black hole around me so that my awful bowling could not escape my event horizon.

I'm not currenlty on league, but hoping to be by summer, so ideally this will pass with time and exposure. Perhaps going when it is busier, as J Anderson suggested, would help alleviate it sooner rather than later.

[DrOcktagon]

For whatever reason, I get the impression that you don't think you're good enough to bowl at the level you're capable of.

Then again, I'm not a psychologist.

Maybe you should be, because that is pretty accurate. I've never thought of it like that before.

I've had confidence issues in pretty much everything I've ever done that involves some kind of assessment of skill.

[billf]

This is something that hasn't even entered my mind before. I subbed in a league this morning and as we finished I stayed where I was, pulled out my camcorder and practiced. Sure there were several people watching. I talked with them as I practiced, answering questions about form, lines, my camcorder, etc. yet never felt any pressure. Maybe part of it is I don't really care what those people think. As bowlers there aren't any in that league whose game I admire. When I bowl those whose game I do admire, it raises my game also. Dead, busy or anything in between, once I'm on that approach it's just me and the ball. Nothing else matters and those few seconds without any interruptions, that's my personal sanctuary.

[Greenday]

I think the problem a lot of people have with watching other people is that they then try to copy what they see works. And that's not really a great thing sometimes. I see some crankers go out and tear it but I know that's not my game so I don't ever try to copy it. If people want to watch me, God bless them. If they think I'm good, awesome. If they think I'm not good, they can suck it and I'll continue having fun anyway.

I'll watch other people sometimes but I'll never critique anyone if they don't ask. I don't judge bad throws. **** happens. Everyone has them, even the pros. I like to watch and see if people can pick the right ball for the conditions out there and if they can properly adjust their game to the conditions. Even then, it's just me seeing what level people are at. The only people I frown upon are the people who use a house ball and chuck it as hard as they can, then try to act all tough when they finally get a strike.

[noeymc]

I think the problem a lot of people have with watching other people is that they then try to copy what they see works. And that's not really a great thing sometimes. I see some crankers go out and tear it but I know that's not my game so I don't ever try to copy it. If people want to watch me, God bless them. If they think I'm good, awesome. If they think I'm not good, they can suck it and I'll continue having fun anyway.

I'll watch other people sometimes but I'll never critique anyone if they don't ask. I don't judge bad throws. **** happens. Everyone has them, even the pros. I like to watch and see if people can pick the right ball for the conditions out there and if they can properly adjust their game to the conditions. Even then, it's just me seeing what level people are at. The only people I frown upon are the people who use a house ball and chuck it as hard as they can, then try to act all tough when they finally get a strike.


that was one time come on man =D


bck on topic now

I think its really on you to find a way to block it out like bill said when hes up there its just him when i am up there i cant even here nothing i am so focused on hitting my mark my mind cant think or care about nothing else you gotta find a "happy place" so to speak

[zemeckis]

i know how u feel about a year ago i had sort of the same feeling but now i just go to the ally for what ever i need / want to work on and dont look at other ppl iff they are looking at ure game then thats there problem. Just go out there and play relaxt its all in the head. after some time ppl that come there often will remind u and just look once in a while to check iff u are bowling a good game coz everyone want to see high games...

[scottymoney]

I get watchers all the time, but I also go when it isn't very busy and people are hanging out at the bar. The guys at the front desk for some reason peg me as a drinker and I end up on the lanes right in front of the bar. I don't mind these lanes don't get beat up as much. I think there is some added pressure when you are bowling alone and people are watching. I myself tend to relish in it, I go into the "give the fans what they want mode". When I go by myself I am normally working on different things instead of bowling for just a score. I try to play lines that I normally wouldn't play just so I can get used to different angles. I am not going to work on playing 4th arrow during league so I try it in practice. But yeah when I see the eyes looking over I tend to gravitate back to playing 2nd arrow and put a little extra zip to give them some nice deck clearers and cool looking messenger shots.

[e-tank]

I used to have a problem with this when i first started bowling. For one i wasnt very good and the whole bowling environment was foreign to me so i wasnt comfortable. Now im comfortable in my own skin at the bowling alley. I have more watchers than ever before for reasons bowling related and non related and it doesnt phase me anymore. It still takes me about a half a game to warmup though so just dont sweat it man. People really do assume that since you have a brace or power sleeve that youre gonna be amazing though haha. When we bowl with my non bowling friends or my friends friends they see my brace and they think im a pro. Basically you just need to give it time. Time to be more comfortable with yourself and your abilities

[swingset]

It bothered me when I was younger, but I'm not self-conscious anymore. Just keep doing it and trying to shut all that out. In truth, it's all internal - few people are looking and even fewer care what you're doing.

Go buy a pink cowboy hat and wear it while you bowl. No one will think you're serious if you're wearing that, and whatever happens on the lane will not be the focus of their attention.

There, I got solutions.

[Tokes]

Yeah I totally sympathize with that the watchers get me sometimes as well. I'm getting a little better but I find it weird in 2 main occasions when it's just me bowling and one of the the guys who gives me tips shows up and sits eating lunch at the table next to me. I feel like its time to prove the tips are being used and its like gutter or bad split. The other is on league some comments on how quiet i throw the ball and I hear, "watch how quiet he throws it" and thats when I loft it a third of the lane with a loud 'thud'.

[ArtVandelay]

It's weird. It's something that I've always dealt with, but I think coming back after such a long layoff is making it worse. I'm no stranger to bowling in front of people. I bowled on YABA leagues every Saturday from age 5-18, bowled numerous state youth tourneys, regularly bowled the PK All Star Junior Regional Tour as a teenager, transitioned to men's and mixed adult leagues, and was even on the winning team in my area's most competetive men's league...but all this was over a decade ago.

Over the last 11-12 years that I've been away from bowling, my nerves and anxiety have apparently gotten worse. Like I said, though, when I'm throwing the ball well I like to see people watching me. It boosts my confidence. But when my game is off, or when I'm warming up, I just wish I could create a black hole around me so that my awful bowling could not escape my event horizon.

I'm not currenlty on league, but hoping to be by summer, so ideally this will pass with time and exposure. Perhaps going when it is busier, as J Anderson suggested, would help alleviate it sooner rather than later.

Maybe you SHOULD join a league. Everyone has their own shoes and balls. Youre just one of many. And everyone is more concerned with their own game. People are courteous for the most part.

I know what you mean, though... In golf, I cant remember the last time I had a good tee shot off the first tee box. There is a lot of pressure because sometimes there can be 2 or more groups lined up behind you, and they are all being quiet and respectful... The silence makes it worse because you KNOW you are the one they are watching. But ya know what? A lot of them ARENT watching. Some are warming up and stretching, some are browsing the internet on their phones... All they care is you move fast and play the game with courtesy for others.

I played on sunday and I took a great warmup swing. So I addressed the ball ("Hello, ball!), and topped the hell out of it. Hahahaha. So I knew I had to hurry up with my next shot and get going so I wouldnt hold up play on the first hole! I hit a bad 2nd shot too. And a 3rd... And the more I thought, the worse it got. I finished that hole with a snowman (8).

But the next hole? Par 5. I crushed the drive and it landed just off the fairway about a foot into the rough on the left. I hit a really solid hybrid and got it within 80 yards of the hole. I ruined that by hitting my approach shot over the green, chipped back on, and 2 putted for a 6. Ill take a bogey any day! Bogey golf is good golf, to me...

It was all in my head. Every last bit of it. I dont get those feelings while bowling, but I know what you mean!

[The German Shepherd]

You really need to get control of your head here. Nobody is seriously critiquing your warm-up tosses, and nobody else is so good that they are going to be ridiculing your errors. Honestly, and I am not trying to be harsh, sarcastic nor negative here - just lighten up and give yourself a break, Its supposed to be fun!

Jay

[Hammer]

Your thinking way too much about what people are thinking of you. In reality they are watching you but probably not really caring if you are good or bad bowler. What you have to do is think about your technique and not about folks watching you. When I am practicing or on league night the only thing I am thinking about is getting a comfortable grip on the ball and setting the ball in front of my throwing shoulder while I am on the approach. Once I am set and ready to make my approach the only thing I think about then is keeping my hand behind the ball and my wrist straight all the way through the release. That should be your focus. Your doing the opposite and thinking instead about folks critiqueing your every move. That is not the reality though. I have watched other bowlers but I could care less how they bowl. If they are bowling good it is great to watch them. If they are not I just think boy, I have had days like that but do not think bad of that person. When I become the perfect person then I can be critical of others. What it boils down to is you are doing the thinking for whoever is watching you. What they are actually thinking is the opposite of what you think they are thinking. Does that make any sense. I think that you are just too critical of yourself and putting too much expectation on yourself. Get out of your head and concentrate more on a certain part of your technique like your footwork or keeping your hand behind the ball until your thumb exits the ball then hit it with the fingers. If you keep your head more into your game you will find out that your anxiety will get less and less and then you won't care who is watching you. YOU CAN DO IT, JUST BELIEVE IT.

[mxjosh]

I experience this to an extent. Not nearly as bad when practicing. I don't think I look good bowling but I get lots of comments on how I make it look effortless. Its not effortless to me. I think my tendency when people are watching is to hook the ball a lot even though that's not what I came there to do. Sometimes it helps me to record a practice goal. gives u something to do after u throw a shot. take score manually and mark what spares u leave or what speed each shot is at. Changes your focus. Gives u direction. Also see if your bowling alley can turn on the lanes without scoring. Nobody will know if u bowling good or bad. If they watch u, its just because they like they way u bowl.

I feel the eyes staring at me during 1 particular league. I bowl on the same team as my coach. Everybody looks up to him. and he's not even the best bowler on my team. There are PBA champions in this league. I have been bowling for a total of 18 months. The reason I am on this team is because I am capable of shooting 600+ each week but my avg for my first year was only 174 so I fit in under the team cap. A new bowler, lining up against PBA players with my coach behind me is incredibly nerve wracking. I second guess ball changes and adjustments. Normally I just change as soon as I want to but this league pressures me so much sometimes I just break and bowl bad. 1 bad shot is the end of the world so to speak. when I go to the line, I have my 3 teammates staring at me, hoping for a good shot and the other teams 4 bowlers staring at me hoping for a bad shot. the lane next to me stares at me. the bowler waiting to bowl is staring at me hoping I hurry up. friends and family members of our teams are staring plus my two teammates attract a lot of attention from passer byers. Plus I got a bowler to beat in score. Its intense sometimes. Im getting more comfortable being in that situation but I have not at all conquered it. I have a fear of failure in this league. If I had a bad night, I carry it with me all week.

On the flip side, this is the league I practiced 15-20 games a day for months to get into. I paid a lot of money to my coach to get up to par to be on this league. Its what I wanted and worked for. My avg WILL go up next year and I will have to change teams. So this stage is also my audition for another team next year. coming in over 200+ will have even higher expectations. Im partially freaked out in advance of having to bowl my former team next year.

my other 2 leagues, I usually see myself as almost as good as the best in the league...so if I had a bad night, its just a bad night and I can let it go.