Recent Lack of Good Etiquette

[Greenday]

Sunday, I bowled in a King of the Hill tournament. We were all doing a two lane courtesy, as is appropriate for tournament play. One woman on the pair to my left consistently would skip turns. I would have my ball, stand up near the lane, obviously waiting to go when someone finished throwing. She'd walk up, grab her ball, then just walk up on her approach one lane over from me, despite the fact that is was super obvious that I was waiting my turn. All three games, she kept doing this. I hate how long two lane courtesy takes as it is but when someone skips a turn like that, it really screws things up.

Tonight, I was having a 300 game going. After my fourth strike, my teammates stopped chatting with me unless I initiated a quick conversation. Six strikes in, the guy I was bowling head-to-head against on the other team started talking to me between frames. It was really pissing me off. The worst part? He kept talking about how typical it is that people bowl 300s against him and how I must be nervous about it. I made it to the ninth frame before I finally didn't get a strike (Struck out in the tenth for a 278). Who the hell does that? It's like talking to a pitcher during a perfect game. Probably should have just hit him.

[DLP]

While we (my hubby and I) haven't done any tournament or league bowling yet I've noticed lane etiquette varies immensely, and its not by age group or gender. The normal lane we bowl at has a lot of kids and young adults since its relatively close to a high school and the local college. I've seen better lane etiquette from them and some younger kids (we're talking ages 8-12 who have a respect for the game) than adults that I've bowled near. One of the most phenomenal examples I've seen is a kid that was knee high to a grasshopper. He was bowling on the lane by himself as his parents were bowling league that night. Was an absolute joy to be around and people around him (including us) were cheering him on. Kid knew the game and knew it well and was setting an example for other people bowling around us at the time (including a girl who was bowling out of turn to our other side).

There is hope!!! Just sorry you had such poor experiences lately :(

[Hampe]

Sunday, I bowled in a King of the Hill tournament. We were all doing a two lane courtesy, as is appropriate for tournament play. One woman on the pair to my left consistently would skip turns. I would have my ball, stand up near the lane, obviously waiting to go when someone finished throwing. She'd walk up, grab her ball, then just walk up on her approach one lane over from me, despite the fact that is was super obvious that I was waiting my turn. All three games, she kept doing this. I hate how long two lane courtesy takes as it is but when someone skips a turn like that, it really screws things up.Did you say something to her? Usually when someone is doing that if you say something to them or to their team, they'll stop doing it.


Tonight, I was having a 300 game going. After my fourth strike, my teammates stopped chatting with me unless I initiated a quick conversation. Six strikes in, the guy I was bowling head-to-head against on the other team started talking to me between frames. It was really pissing me off. The worst part? He kept talking about how typical it is that people bowl 300s against him and how I must be nervous about it. I made it to the ninth frame before I finally didn't get a strike (Struck out in the tenth for a 278). Who the hell does that? It's like talking to a pitcher during a perfect game. Probably should have just hit him.6 strikes is nothing....if my head-to-head opponent has 6 strikes to start off with, I'd probably say something like that too. If they get to the 9-10th frame with a perfect game still going, then I'd be quiet and leave them alone.

[RoccoRock]

These are pet peeves of mine, lane courtesy, and smart *** comments by sore losers. A few months ago in league I had a good game broken up when on back to back frames I was distracted. One by a guy rattling balls around in the ball return and once when I was cut off by a girl two lanes over. There's also two guys in that league that just grab their ball and go, they don't even check to see if anyone is waiting.

The comments bother me too. Last year I beat a guy pretty good in the first game of the series. I was on a hot streak, bowling above average every game. He turns to be and says, so you going to actually bowl your average this game. I would never say something like that to someone. If they're having a good game or a good night and bowling above average good for them. Maybe they worked hard on their game, or maybe is the night of their life, and they'll remember it forever as that great night they had, and who am I to ruin that. I had a teammate with a 155 average, and he runs off 4 in a row. The lady he was bowling against says to him, so I guess your gonna throw a gutter ball now. Classless just let the guy have his night.

[Gunz1911]

Specially when there is always the flip side to your awesome nights. You always have those nights that you just can't put anything together and bowl way below average. Happened to me last sunday, Bowled about 20-25 pins below average every game, (average was 163). The group I was bowling against was pretty decent and we just joked around about it. Luckily a few of us where on off nights, so no one accused anyone of sandbagging the game.

I'd have to say it is not just game etiquette, but just general common courtesy and some people are just D-bags and deserve a good throat punch.

[GeoLes]

I look at it this way.

There were many occasions when I could overhear a cell phone conversation from a good distance away. It was as if the person was yelling to me personally. I jokingly say, save the money. You don't need a phone your party can hear you without it. :) Phone etiquette dictates that the phone conversation should be discrete. (step off to the side and take your private conversation, then rejoin the public when done).

While this makes perfect sense it is not widely known or widely respected. The same is especially true of bowling etiquette. The general idea is: "I am here to bowl and have fun. You have your lane. I have mine. Let's bowl!!" They get in theiir own zone and that's it. Nothing else exists.

Education can help however. A polite comment can make a big difference. For example, when I started taking spin class at a new gym, I entered the spin room and noticed the bikes had towel already on them. (nice perk, I thought). I grabbed the bike I wanted and later the person who reserved the bike by placing a towel there became very upset. I did not know the rules.

Dispite my signature, you have to sometimes teach the rules.

[Judy clemons]

if you let someone get to you and mess up your game...you do not have concentration
if you let someone hurt your feelings you must be wearing them on your sleeve
if you let some one use you...you have not mastered the English word of no!!!

I didn't say it was your FAULT...
I said I was going to BLAME you!!!

I learned the hard way to have total concentration in my stance and on my approach
someone on the boards said tell your self it is just me, my ball, my target and follow through...


nobody can hurt your feelings...unless you let them

nobody can use you either...unless you let them


okay there are GRANNY GRUNT'S LECTURES for the day...

suggest taking with a grain of salt

[josheaton16]

I think a two lane courtesy is too much. If someone is distracting you that far away then you need to work on concentrating better. And if someone is already waiting for the person to their left to bowl, whats the big deal if the person to the right goes too?

[classygranny]

if you let someone get to you and mess up your game...you do not have concentration
if you let someone hurt your feelings you must be wearing them on your sleeve
if you let some one use you...you have not mastered the English word of no!!!

I didn't say it was your FAULT...
I said I was going to BLAME you!!!

I learned the hard way to have total concentration in my stance and on my approach
someone on the boards said tell your self it is just me, my ball, my target and follow through...


nobody can hurt your feelings...unless you let them

nobody can use you either...unless you let them


okay there are GRANNY GRUNT'S LECTURES for the day...

suggest taking with a grain of salt

I GRANNY second that!!!

Also, if you don't like what's being said, JUST WALK AWAY. Simple, easy, diplomatic - they get the point of "I don't want to talk". I do this even when I am bowling poorly just to regroup my thought process.

If it's a tournament, they should have explained the rules. Someone not abiding, let the tournament directors handle the issue.

[Greenday]

I think a two lane courtesy is too much. If someone is distracting you that far away then you need to work on concentrating better. And if someone is already waiting for the person to their left to bowl, whats the big deal if the person to the right goes too?

Nothing is wrong with that. What IS wrong is that when someone is clearly waiting for their turn, then you just walk up, grab your ball, and step onto the lane next to them and go through your approach. It's a CLEAR lack of manners.

[josheaton16]

If you're already waiting then why does it matter? If i'm standing on deck and the person to my left is on the approach and a person to my right walks up i expect them to go because there is no reason for them to wait for me, while i'm already waiting on someone else. I definitely agree with you about some people having bad etiquette and that can be very aggravating. I just don't understand how this is lack of manners.

[DrOcktagon]

If you're already waiting then why does it matter? If i'm standing on deck and the person to my left is on the approach and a person to my right walks up i expect them to go because there is no reason for them to wait for me, while i'm already waiting on someone else. I definitely agree with you about some people having bad etiquette and that can be very aggravating. I just don't understand how this is lack of manners.

Have you ever bowled in a tournament using two-lane courtesy? If everyone follows the same "rules" about how to do this, a rhythm usually develops which would be easily broken by one person not following the agreed upon etiquette.

Maybe "lack of manners" isn't the right verbage, but it can be very frustrating and distracting if someone is not using proper etiquette.

Example: You're waiting for the person on your immediate left to bowl and you're standing with your ball in hand and one foot on the approach. Someone two lanes to your right sees this but continues onto the approach regardless; you then have to wait for that person. While you're waiting for that person someone two lanes to your left gets up on the approach; now you have to wait for that person as well. This completely breaks the rhythm of two-lane etiquette.

In the above example, the person two lanes to the right should have seen that you were waiting for the bowler to your left to bowl and patiently waited for you to get through your approach before beginning theirs.

[DrOcktagon]

If you're already waiting then why does it matter? If i'm standing on deck and the person to my left is on the approach and a person to my right walks up i expect them to go because there is no reason for them to wait for me, while i'm already waiting on someone else. I definitely agree with you about some people having bad etiquette and that can be very aggravating. I just don't understand how this is lack of manners.

It's completely different with single-lane courtesy, though. In the situation you describe, using single-lane courtesy, there would be nothing wrong with the bowler to your right going while you are waiting for the bowler to your left; you would be 100% clear to begin your approach after they both go. It's only when you add another lane to the etiquette that this could become a problem.

[Greenday]

As I've mentioned, I prefer one lane courtesy because it lets things flow faster. But it's two lane at tournaments. And the woman who was doing it in the tournament was only doing it while two lanes away. She was doing it while standing on the lane next to me.

[billf]

The lane courtesy thing I get.
The guy talking during a six=pack...big deal.

The fourth bowler on my Fall men's league always wants to bowl anchor. I won't put him there. I bowled him last night. I was in his head from the start (he walked in and said he was going to crush me and show why he should be anchor). I didn't let up either and beat him handily 751-493. Then I explained how it's his mental game that's holding him back. Every noise, comment or criticism distracts him. I don't hear a thing when I'm on the approach and I love going against trash talkers.

[Greenday]

I'm fine with some trash talk. I do it from time to time. But some things aren't right. Eight strikes in, you shouldn't be trying to psyche them out of a 300. Eight innings done, you shouldn't mess with the pitcher. Etc. etc.

[RoccoRock]

if you let someone get to you and mess up your game...you do not have concentration
if you let someone hurt your feelings you must be wearing them on your sleeve
if you let some one use you...you have not mastered the English word of no!!!

I didn't say it was your FAULT...
I said I was going to BLAME you!!!

I learned the hard way to have total concentration in my stance and on my approach
someone on the boards said tell your self it is just me, my ball, my target and follow through...


nobody can hurt your feelings...unless you let them

nobody can use you either...unless you let them


okay there are GRANNY GRUNT'S LECTURES for the day...

suggest taking with a grain of salt

It's not about hurting feelings, or comments throwing you off your game, it's about people being A holes for no reason other than they're cry babies. I've had people make comments to me, and I bowled terrible afterward, and I've had people make comments and I proceeded to lay the smack down. I can't blame other people when I bowl like garbage, I almost always put it on me.

As far as being distracted, like I described before, that's a totally different story. Call me mentally fragile or whatever, but when someone nearly runs into me while I'm on the downswing of my delivery, that's going to effect my throw. Maybe sometime when your bowling someone will run up from behind and come within inches of you. Then you can tell me if you had such great concentration that it didn't effect you.

Guys like Sean Rash, and Wes Malott, and Mike Machuga, and Brad Angelo, and Tom Daughrety and Pete Weber, and Randy Pederson have all been distracted by one thing or another and it effected their game. In case you don't know who any of those guys are, they are some of the best bowler in the world, and in some cases, some of the best in the history of the game.

[classygranny]

It's not about hurting feelings, or comments throwing you off your game, it's about people being A holes for no reason other than they're cry babies. I've had people make comments to me, and I bowled terrible afterward, and I've had people make comments and I proceeded to lay the smack down. I can't blame other people when I bowl like garbage, I almost always put it on me.

As far as being distracted, like I described before, that's a totally different story. Call me mentally fragile or whatever, but when someone nearly runs into me while I'm on the downswing of my delivery, that's going to effect my throw. Maybe sometime when your bowling someone will run up from behind and come within inches of you. Then you can tell me if you had such great concentration that it didn't effect you.

Guys like Sean Rash, and Wes Malott, and Mike Machuga, and Brad Angelo, and Tom Daughrety and Pete Weber, and Randy Pederson have all been distracted by one thing or another and it effected their game. In case you don't know who any of those guys are, they are some of the best bowler in the world, and in some cases, some of the best in the history of the game.

Wow, lighten up some. I would think most of us on these boards know who these guys are number 1. And, these guys know how to deal with the distractions - learn to confront the distractor (ie Pete Weber), learn how to stop in your approach (Sean is really good at this). If you want to bowl with the BIG BOYS, then deal with distractions - they do. And further more, if your game is "mentally fragile" - may I suggest a mental coach. Doesn't seem like you would enjoy the sport being this fragile. Learn control, only you can control your game.

And for the record, life is full of those "A holes" for no reason - bowling, movies, work, driving, etc - how do you deal with them?

That's my rant for the day...sorry, just having a Granny day I guess - since I can't blame it on PMS.

[DLP]

Love how you are saying things granny!!!!
What is funny is that sometimes on the lanes, our enemy, the a**hole that is bashing us, the guy or gal questioning your every throw turns out to be yourself.
Every other distraction I've experienced at the lanes is second to my own internal dialogue.

We talk about the expectation of courtesy and respect from our fellow bowlers, but how many of us give ourselves and our own game that level of respect and courtesy?

[Greenday]

Wow, lighten up some. I would think most of us on these boards know who these guys are number 1. And, these guys know how to deal with the distractions - learn to confront the distractor (ie Pete Weber), learn how to stop in your approach (Sean is really good at this). If you want to bowl with the BIG BOYS, then deal with distractions - they do. And further more, if your game is "mentally fragile" - may I suggest a mental coach. Doesn't seem like you would enjoy the sport being this fragile. Learn control, only you can control your game.

I'm pretty sure that if someone does what I've mentioned during a PBA event, there are actual rules against it. For instance, if you continually ignore lane courtesy rules, you will be fined. You cannot mess with other people while they bowl. If you are friends with someone and it's mutual and accept between the two of you, go for it. But when it's with someone you don't know, trash talk and stuff is technically against USBC rules. Just because it's not generally enforced (Or called out on as being against the rules) doesn't make it acceptable.

[josheaton16]

I suppose i understand how a two lane courtesy is different than one lane. . . but at the same time i still don't see the point. Somebody two lanes away should not effect your shot. If that is the rules of the tournament then it is what it is, everyone should follow them. I've never bowled in a tournament with two lane courtesy so i can't really speak from experience. As for trash talking, I do it with my teammates but never with the other team, unless they start it lol

[RoccoRock]

Wow, lighten up some.

I apologize if my post came off a little aggressive, I didn't mean to offend. All I'm saying is it's real easy to say other people are fragile, and you shouldn't get distracted when it's not happening to you. It's also a case of how you look at the game. People in my old league couldn't understand why I was upset with 180 games. For most of them, that's a good game. But when you practice 100 games a week, that's not a good game. It's the same with distractions, when you don't care about the game, or the results, then what does it matter if someone bowls st the same time you do. It's also very difficult to get in someones head, and know what they are thinking. Everyone loves to play psychotherapist, and think that they know what others are thinking and feeling, and how it effects them. I had a friend who would make comments about my game. I would have a tough game, and get mad about it. He would tell me your bowling bad because your mad. Noooo, I'm mad because I'm bowling bad, big difference. Then I would break out a 240 while I was "bowling mad" and he could never explain that. At this point I'm just used to it, everyone thinks they know better, everyone thinks they are smarter, and they think they can get in your head.

It's also real easy to just say "stop your approach." That depends on when the distraction happens, sometimes it's just not possible. Wes Malott was distracted at the Maters this year as he was releasing the ball that he needed to have a chance to win. He couldn't stop, and in a post match interview blamed the distraction for him losing. And not everyone knows those names off the top of their head, that's why I pointed out who they were. Maybe someone else needs to chill a little. LOL!!!!!!!

[classygranny]

I'm pretty sure that if someone does what I've mentioned during a PBA event, there are actual rules against it. For instance, if you continually ignore lane courtesy rules, you will be fined. You cannot mess with other people while they bowl. If you are friends with someone and it's mutual and accept between the two of you, go for it. But when it's with someone you don't know, trash talk and stuff is technically against USBC rules. Just because it's not generally enforced (Or called out on as being against the rules) doesn't make it acceptable.

I never said it was acceptable, nor did I intend to imply that it was...merely stating that A-holes are a part of life in general. And I was trying to make the point that there are rules...in PBA events, in tournaments, in league, in life...AND there are ways to enforce them - fines, tournament directors, league presidents/sergeant of arms, police enforcement, human resources, etc. I was merely pointing out that A-holes have a way of being dealt with - and only ourselves can control our game. If it bothers or distracts you - DO something about it.


I suppose i understand how a two lane courtesy is different than one lane. . . but at the same time i still don't see the point. Somebody two lanes away should not effect your shot. If that is the rules of the tournament then it is what it is, everyone should follow them. I've never bowled in a tournament with two lane courtesy so i can't really speak from experience. As for trash talking, I do it with my teammates but never with the other team, unless they start it lol

I would agree that the disruption of the two lane courtesy disrupts the "flow" of the bowling, and is sometimes difficult to deal with. We should all have had some degree of dealing with this in our normal course of bowling...ie, lane break-downs, slow players, one-lane courtesy jumpers, "social butterflies-talk more than bowl", and I could go on-and-on. We learn to adjust, adapt and deal with these things so they don't control our game, and we control our own game.

[GoodGravy]

I GRANNY second that!!!

Also, if you don't like what's being said, JUST WALK AWAY. Simple, easy, diplomatic - they get the point of "I don't want to talk". I do this even when I am bowling poorly just to regroup my thought process.

If it's a tournament, they should have explained the rules. Someone not abiding, let the tournament directors handle the issue.



I GRANNY Third that!!!

[Gunz1911]

My summer league is a 2 lane courtesy. First night I went, thought most of the time it was only one lane. Watched how everyone else was doing it so played "follow the leader." I do have to say, two lane is nicer. No Peripheral vision to "maybe" throw me off for a split second. I'm not sure if its a cause of "ohh Shiney" or training that when I notice something out of the corner of my eye near me, I instantly register and know its there. Which in some cases can throw off my approach and make me miss my mark.

However, My summer league (and only league I have ever done) is all for social and fun. No one that I have bowled against takes it super seriouse and no one on my team gets supper annoyed (except at themselves for bowling bad). Maybe I should tell my wife to start "jinkxing" me during practice so I can over come it in leagues. Get 4 strikes and have her start harping on me not to mess up.

[snugbucco]

I had a 300 game going till the 9th and this guy who I wasn't even bowling with came over and nudged and rocked me back and forth and whipped a towel in my face. Lol got to learn to stay focus I have never and still don't blame that guy I should of been more headstrong.