Interesting conversation with the wife yesterday.

[GeoLes]

She was bowling recently without me and the person in the adjacent lane tried to help her with her release and finish position by offering unsolicited advice. She noted that he was giving her the same info our coach has been saying about balanced finish and no early wrist turn during the release. (my wife would release the wrist early by kind-of turning the wrist around her body, producing the "gyro" effect. No new news here, but here is the interesting thing.

He demonstrated the same isolation drill that I have been suggesting for a long time. She expressed her reluctance to do the drills because they are too hard as she feel as if she will fall over so she does not like trying it. Interesting.

It is so interesting that so many think that you bowl better by simply bowling more. In fact, it can have the opposite effect of solidifying bad habits. Change is always more difficult than status qou. It requires investment in some level of discomfort. I guess she is not ready yet. When that day comes, I will be there with the big "I told you so". -

Kidding, I will keep my big, fat mouth shut. There's a reason I have remained married for 24 years :)

[JPbowl]

What drill is that ?
How about just the single step drill to work on keeping hand behind the ball ?

[billf]

I was curious as soon as I read interesting conversation with my wife. I've been married twice totalling 21 years and don't think I've ever been able to say that. Then I read the post. The conversation is one I would have classified as frustratingly funny. Those I've had many, many times. I also agree though, the I told you so part is to be saved for telling the story to friends lol

[Tampabaybob]

I'm with you George. Knowing when to keep the trap shut, makes marriages last a whole lot longer. (I'm on number two as well, 10 with this one '32' years with #1 !)
Feels like I've been married my whole life ! Come to think of it just about has been !

You mentioned your wires coach. What is he doing to help her get out of that habit? As mentioned there are drill to work on thaw ill help somewhat, but the "delivery person" has to be ready, willing and able to work on making that change. As I tell many students, I can tell you everything thing you need to know, but I can't throw the ball for you. When she's ready....she'll change. Good luck, keep biting your tongue.

[classygranny]

I'm with you George. Knowing when to keep the trap shut, makes marriages last a whole lot longer. (I'm on number two as well, 10 with this one '32' years with #1 !)
Feels like I've been married my whole life ! Come to think of it just about has been !

You mentioned your wires coach. What is he doing to help her get out of that habit? As mentioned there are drill to work on thaw ill help somewhat, but the "delivery person" has to be ready, willing and able to work on making that change. As I tell many students, I can tell you everything thing you need to know, but I can't throw the ball for you. When she's ready....she'll change. Good luck, keep biting your tongue.

I hope that goes for the other sex and when he's ready..he'll change. I usually do well at biting my tongue, but it got loose last Tuesday. I had had enough of his negative attitude, whiny complaining of losing, etc and I really let it go once we got in the car. Then I see this post...a day late, perhaps. But, we usually do well with communication. I think I really got my point across, did it in private, and all I asked in return was for him to keep his negativity at bay, unless it was "mathematically" impossible for us to win a game - then he could complain about losing. Of course, I always bring up the "you could get some instruction and bowl better so we wouldn't lose as often", but maybe that didn't go over as well as "your negative attitude pushes my buttons and my bowling is about my only passion, so lay-off, as I am not happy you caused me to bowl a 101" - and, even if I had bowled my average, we would have still lost by about 100 pins.

We will see how well the listening was come Tuesday...LOL.

[dnhoffman]

My wife gets so frustrated every week yet she never practices, has never worked with a coach, and really puts very little effort in.

I stopped making suggestions and now I just say "if you actually want to change then we can book an hour with #### whenever you like...."

[Tampabaybob]

Granny, I'll be signing on Wednesday am for the results of Tuesday nite !! LOL And by the way it does apply to both sexes. I've known many women bowlers whose husbands either were not a good bowler as them or the husbands didn't bowl at all. Can be a tough situation, but to start blaming someone for the loss of a game? Not acceptable...I'm with you.

[Hampe]

She was bowling recently without me and the person in the adjacent lane tried to help her with her release and finish position by offering unsolicited advice. She noted that he was giving her the same info our coach has been saying about balanced finish and no early wrist turn during the release. (my wife would release the wrist early by kind-of turning the wrist around her body, producing the "gyro" effect. No new news here, but here is the interesting thing.

He demonstrated the same isolation drill that I have been suggesting for a long time. She expressed her reluctance to do the drills because they are too hard as she feel as if she will fall over so she does not like trying it. Interesting.

It is so interesting that so many think that you bowl better by simply bowling more. In fact, it can have the opposite effect of solidifying bad habits. Change is always more difficult than status qou. It requires investment in some level of discomfort. I guess she is not ready yet. When that day comes, I will be there with the big "I told you so". -

Kidding, I will keep my big, fat mouth shut. There's a reason I have remained married for 24 years :)I know exactly what your feeling. I'm in a very similar situation with my wife, although she's only just starting this summer. We had 3 people quit our team and needed some new members so I convinced my wife to give it a try, since she already has her own shoes and ball (ball was donated by a friend). We've only been a few times so far, and I'm trying to get her to build her approach from the foul line backwards, but after about 15 minutes of drills she just wants to play a game and try it out. Hopefully I can get her to listen to me....or at least find someone else she'll listen to :).

[Tampabaybob]

Paul, I know exactly what you mean. My wife bowled a mixed league with My daughter and I a couple of years ago. She had never bowled in a league and trying to help her was a headache. Even though she's very familiar with my background and how long I've done this sport, she would not and still will not listen to me. She swears she'll never bowl in a league again, and since that time has only bowled a few times with us in practice. You're best bet is to hook her up with a very good coach. Trying to teach wives is just like trying to teach your own kids how to bowl....they won't listen to you. Another person...no problem, even though they're going to tell them the same thing. Save yourself a lot of aggravation and you and she will be much happier. Good luck.

[GeoLes]

What drill is that ?
How about just the single step drill to work on keeping hand behind the ball ?

That's the drill.

[GeoLes]

I'm with you George. Knowing when to keep the trap shut, makes marriages last a whole lot longer. (I'm on number two as well, 10 with this one '32' years with #1 !)
Feels like I've been married my whole life ! Come to think of it just about has been !

You mentioned your wires coach. What is he doing to help her get out of that habit? As mentioned there are drill to work on thaw ill help somewhat, but the "delivery person" has to be ready, willing and able to work on making that change. As I tell many students, I can tell you everything thing you need to know, but I can't throw the ball for you. When she's ready....she'll change. Good luck, keep biting your tongue.

Its a group lesson, and he is a good coach, but he does not do isolation drills (at least I have never seen him teach any). I know, there are good coaches and there are great coaches. We can't blame him though, Sometimes the student either does not understand the instructions or is resistant to change. (I have seen evidence of both in my wife-not that I am perfect by any means) I have even suggested trying the one-step drills in the gym against a wall using a basketball or volleyball, which I do. She is simply not interested t this time. She measures her success pruely by pinfall. High numbers: good. Low numbers: bad. Maybe in the future.

Time will tell.

[Tampabaybob]

George, what you're desribing is someone that might have a weak wrist. I've got a student bowler doing the same thing and it's tough to get them out of it. One way I try to help them is to explain when they release the ball to have their thumb pointing straight up to the ceiling. That's using the KISS theory. If she is able to do that she "hopefully will have to stay under the ball longer at the release point. Give it a try. Also if she does't already have a wrist device...get her one and have her do the thumb up drill. That also should help.

[classygranny]

Granny, I'll be signing on Wednesday am for the results of Tuesday nite !! LOL And by the way it does apply to both sexes. I've known many women bowlers whose husbands either were not a good bowler as them or the husbands didn't bowl at all. Can be a tough situation, but to start blaming someone for the loss of a game? Not acceptable...I'm with you.

Well, last night was the test. I have to say, my hubby held it together very well - we agreed that he wouldn't complain about losing until our team was "mathematically" out of the game. He almost slipped a few times, but I just gave him the big eye ball roll and things calmed down. I actually bowled much better without the negative aura, as he did as well. In fact, he came within pins of beating me...argh! We didn't win but one game, but at least I enjoyed it better. Maybe if I could get over having one bad game we could do a little better...194, 137, 186. But to my defense, it was really, really, really, really, really HOT in the bowling alley.

Hopefully, the new attitude will stay and we can enjoy bowling in the evenings together. Still not gonna give up my morning league without him, tho!

And thanks to all my pin pals for listening to me ***** and complain here...at least your not trying to bowl.

[GeoLes]

Progress report:

We bowled Johhny O's group lessong last night at Brunswich Zone Hazlette. Nice session. They were set up with THS plus two different sports pattern (Shark, and McClarren, I think. I have never heard of it). Big improvement on wife's part. Form was good. Great finish position throughout and good ball reaction. Only problem was she could not seem to hit her mark. When she did hit the mark, she usually got a strike.

[Tampabaybob]

Well, last night was the test. I have to say, my hubby held it together very well - we agreed that he wouldn't complain about losing until our team was "mathematically" out of the game. He almost slipped a few times, but I just gave him the big eye ball roll and things calmed down. I actually bowled much better without the negative aura, as he did as well. In fact, he came within pins of beating me...argh! We didn't win but one game, but at least I enjoyed it better. Maybe if I could get over having one bad game we could do a little better...194, 137, 186. But to my defense, it was really, really, really, really, really HOT in the bowling alley.

Hopefully, the new attitude will stay and we can enjoy bowling in the evenings together. Still not gonna give up my morning league without him, tho!

And thanks to all my pin pals for listening to me ***** and complain here...at least your not trying to bowl.

Good shooting. Looks like somebody missed the lanes transitioning during the second game, 'eh? LOL At least you found it again in the 3rd game and cam back strong. And it's good to see that your Hubby may have learned a couple of things also. nothing worse than being badgered while you bowl, right? That's why guns are outlawed in bowling centers, especially for Mixed leagues !! LOL

[Tampabaybob]

Progress report:

We bowled Johhny O's group lessong last night at Brunswich Zone Hazlette. Nice session. They were set up with THS plus two different sports pattern (Shark, and McClarren, I think. I have never heard of it). Big improvement on wife's part. Form was good. Great finish position throughout and good ball reaction. Only problem was she could not seem to hit her mark. When she did hit the mark, she usually got a strike.

Wow, George, it's a good thing your wife missed her target a few times otherwise she would have shot 900 and you'would've had to find another place to Bowl !! LOL

Only kidding, but it sounds like shed did really well. One thing to suggest to her (Notice I said suggest and not TELL !) is to focus on her target until the ball leaves her hand. Also have her try to "not blink her eyes" from the second she starts moving her feet until she releases the ball. A mere blink will help you miss your target.

[GeoLes]

We both were taught to keep visual focus low and on the target arrow until we see the ball roll through the exact board we want, then watch the path from exit point through pins.

In other words as Miyaigi said on the Karate Kid.

"focus Daniel-San"

[Tampabaybob]

We both were taught to keep visual focus low and on the target arrow until we see the ball roll through the exact board we want, then watch the path from exit point through pins.

In other words as Miyaigi said on the Karate Kid.

"focus Daniel-San"


Yes....George-San....but are you actually "doing it" !! LOL