How to bowl well in the midst of chaos?

[fsbjcm]

This is my first full league, and I hate it. I was a sub in the fall league and had a blast, so I decided I 'd play summer. However, I got paired with 2 couples that are driving me crazy. One guy likes to yell and cuss (LOUDLY) and slam beer bottles down on the table and punch the ball return and so on and so forth. The girlfriend acts like nothing is happening. The other couple is constantly bickering and fighting, mostly due to the lady CONSTANTLY nagging the guy, yelling for him while he's bowling, asking him to go get her drinks and food, etc. I try to stay out of it and just bowl my game but it's hard when there is so much going on. And the behavior by the first guy mentioned is frankly embarrassing. We bowl with several 70+ year old women and to say he's over the top with his language (and volume) puts it mildly. Do I just quit? Come back for the fall league? I keep seeing these looks from the other bowlers like "you poor guy". It's not really even fun, as I'm expected to keep everyone in check. I got into this to bowl, not to referee haha. Tips?

[RobLV1]

Talk privately with your league officers and explain the situation to them. There's not much that they can do about the bickering couple, but the guys over-the-top behavior needs to be curbed, and it's the league officers job to do it, not yours.

[fsbjcm]

Oh they know. There are only about 10-12 lanes we bowl on and I can guarantee you can hear him all the way down. I honestly just don't want to listen to it for 4 hours a week. I talked to the guy, he said to tell him to calm down, which I do, but he never does.

[Amyers]

You could always accidently drop a ball on his foot.

[ALazySavage]

As Rob stated, this is not your job to keep your team in check (in this situation). If this was an instance that you were friends with the four other bowlers I could make an argument that you should put forth a strong effort to calm the situation down, but this clearly isn't what you are dealing with. Now the first, and most important, thing I'm going to tell you is that in no situation should you return to this team in the fall. All you accomplish by doing that is giving yourself 36 more weeks of this. You can still bowl in the league and just inform the officers before you sign-up that in no situation are you bowling with any members of this current team.

As for handling this current situation, what is the seating arrangement of the team/bowling center? All of the Brunswick houses in my area have a table in the bowling area as well as seating behind the lane so in this situation I would try to find a way to separate myself from the situation while staying on my team's lane. While I know this is far from ideal, it becomes a question of what is better for you. In the past when I have dealt with the situation of bowling with a team that I didn't care for I did this (the rest of the team sat in the back, thus I sat in the seat closest to the lane and "studied" the lanes. Also, if you are comfortable with it you can also talk to stray bolwers on the other team to try to inject more of the social aspect without the frustration (this may also help you in finding a new team for the fall).

In all honesty, it is simply a crap situation and I hope you don't make a judgment on league bowling based on it. If you want/need a silver lining of the situation, it is a summer league and the way you handle it may make you a more desirable teammate for others who see this and need an additional bowler.

[fsbjcm]

I've got a semi-coach (a really good bowler who watches me and tells me what I'm doing wrong) who I plan to create a team with in the fall, but he's looking for me to get my average up into the 175-180 range. I'm at 150 now, and I'm just frustrated because I feel like I'm at a disadvantage due to the shenanigans going on around me. Seems to me like my team (with the exception of one of the girls) that my team takes summer league bowling WAY too seriously. At the end of the day it's bowling, it's a game, and it's supposed to be fun. That's why I do it! But it's only week 3 of a 13 week league and I'm not having fun anymore.

[tccstudent]

Well this bieng your first league you are gonna run into people like that. We have a few bowlers that have been kicked out of one or more houses around here for that kind of behavior. Summer leagues are a short season so if I was you use this time to get to know some of the other bowlers in the league and find some people that you would like to team up with in the fall. Inbetween your shots go and talk to others on other teams just keep an eye on your lanes and know when you are up.

[Amyers]

I will make a real suggestion here you have a opportunity here. My wife and my kids both struggle with dealing with adverse situations while bowling. Learn to block these distractions out it will make you better in the long run. Don't worry yourself with trying to reign in the other people. Concentrate on your game and leave this for the league officers and house owner. Keep your mind on your game. As I have introduced my kids to bowling and brought a lot of their friends with them to our practice sessions which I take seriously I have had to learn to deal with distractions. I have bowled with them stepping on to the lanes opposite me talking playing music and one girl thought it was funny to try and distract me by flicking my ear while I was on the approach getting set up to bowl learn to block it out socialize with the people you like and don't let it get to you. I would get different team mates for my fall league.

[MICHAEL]

If you don't want to get nose to nose and tell him to COOL IT,,, (iceman,, cool it,,, lol) Then get a good set of noise canceling head phones with a good MP3! Pick out some great music out that will calm your soul!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/headphones_zps0992a6df.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/headphones_zps0992a6df.jpg.html)

[ALazySavage]

Let's focus on an aspect that is creating additional stress towards your bowling and see if we can reduce that stress.

The league that you plan on bowling with the semi-coach, is it a scratch league or a handicap league? If it is a scratch league I could more understand the scoring concern; there may be a minimum average requirement, if there is an average cap they may have room for a 180-190 bowler and he wants your average higher to make a better case for you joining the team, etc.

If the league is a handicap league though I don’t see what the pressure would be to raise your average in the summer. By having you grind through the struggles of a bad team you will be in a better position to thrive in the fall, you start the fall around the 150 range (mainly because you have to adjust to the new situation) and then a few months you start shooting 170-180 because you don’t have the same aggravations and you have a team with good teammates. The handicap benefit becomes significant too:

Taking a typical 90% handicap league you get the following average benefit (based on 220):
150 average + 63 handicap (90% of 70 pins) = 213 average score
180 average + 36 handicap (90% of 40 pins) = 216 average score

In a handicap league you are talking about a net difference of 3 pins; additionally it is much easier to improve on the 150 average than the 180 average so there is a higher potential this way (I'm not advocating that you purposely lower average in this situation, that is sandbagging). If you show the improvement a few months into the league, now you are taking your league average of 150 and shooting 165-170 that gives you a 15-20 net benefit. My thought is that the semi-coach is using this 180 number to give you a goal for the league, something to ensure that you remained concentrated on the task rather than having it as a requirement for joining.

[fsbjcm]

We get 80% of 200. The fall league is men's only, and I think it's a 160 minimum average to qualify. I think what he wants is to see that I can be consistent more than the actual score. My average is 150, but my scores are all over the place. I'll shoot a 120, then I'll shoot a 190, then a 140, then a 125, then a 180, then a 130.

[Birdz300]

I hear ya on all counts summer bowling to me is what I call (practice) time. You work on timing footwork ,release and change balls and lines.
All the while you will find the regulars the ones I call are like gym rats in your center all the time like me.When the fall leagues roll around you will
have a solid foundation to work with and with some they will talk to you just to get you destracted but some will see improvements the biggest is work on your mental game learn to let it go roll off your shoulders. Putting a solid team is key for good chemistry and they can push you harder too.Like most up here when I practice and having distractions only make me stronger mentally and that's where it starts and ends on getting better.
Lastly just relax and have fun.

[Birdz300]

You could always accidently drop a ball on his foot.

Or put finger insert glue in his finger holes :)

[Amyers]

Or put finger insert glue in his finger holes :)

Ha yes haven't seen that one in a while. Or if they leave their shoes out and turn around put a decent amount of power glide on them.

[Mudpuppy]

Ever see what happens to Joe Pesci at the end of the movie casino? Corn field, shallow hole, baseball bat. Maybe a bit of a radical idea, lol. You could show the foul mouth the movie or the end of old yeller and start calling him old yeller and keep mentioning you are related to john gotti and maybe you will see a change.

Or you could just tell all of the people, like I would, hey I pay to come here to have fun and I am not having fun because of your poor behaviors so unless it changes immediately if not sooner I am out of here, good luck, god speed and may the bowling gods smile upon thee with the wind at your back. Just be straight up with them.

[fsbjcm]

Well, it may not matter now. Seems I've strained the muscle that connects my left pec to my collarbone/shoulder. The doctor has said flatly no golf for 4-6 weeks, and said I could try bowling since it doesn't have as much to do with your left side, but he still seemed pretty skeptical. I guess we'll see this week...

[Amyers]

Well, it may not matter now. Seems I've strained the muscle that connects my left pec to my collarbone/shoulder. The doctor has said flatly no golf for 4-6 weeks, and said I could try bowling since it doesn't have as much to do with your left side, but he still seemed pretty skeptical. I guess we'll see this week...

Bad luck I hope it heals quickly

[dnhoffman]

gl man

[mc_runner]

Yikes. Hopefully you'll still be able to bowl a bit. Feel better.

[MICHAEL]

Talk privately with your league officers and explain the situation to them. There's not much that they can do about the bickering couple, but the guys over-the-top behavior needs to be curbed, and it's the league officers job to do it, not yours.

Hummm I would not put up with it period! I would get FACE to FACE with this guy that bickers with his wife, and tell them to COOL IT! (iceman)

When I am bowling the most important thing is not winning, ( I am not a Pro bowling for mega bucks), I am there to cut lose and have a great time. If we WIN GREAT, of we don't I just O.D. on Fried pickles.

I assume the bickering was about one, or the other not bowling as well, as the other thinks they should? If I were his WIFE, I would simply file for divorce ASAP! THIS GUY DOSENT KNOW THE BELOW TRUTH:

WOMEN are much smarter then MEN! DON'T argue with them!

[fsbjcm]

No, it's never about bowling. It's normally her badgering him about family life, telling him he can't have another beer, telling him that he needs to spend more time with her, blah blah blah. I told them after last week they need to leave their personal life at home and try to enjoy bowling. He never says anything negative to her, and eventually just gets fed up and tells her to go away, and that makes it 10x worse.

[rv driver]

No, it's never about bowling. It's normally her badgering him about family life, telling him he can't have another beer, telling him that he needs to spend more time with her, blah blah blah. I told them after last week they need to leave their personal life at home and try to enjoy bowling. He never says anything negative to her, and eventually just gets fed up and tells her to go away, and that makes it 10x worse.
Sounds to me like she really doesn't like him bowling and shows up just to "keep tabs" on him...

[Amyers]

No, it's never about bowling. It's normally her badgering him about family life, telling him he can't have another beer, telling him that he needs to spend more time with her, blah blah blah. I told them after last week they need to leave their personal life at home and try to enjoy bowling. He never says anything negative to her, and eventually just gets fed up and tells her to go away, and that makes it 10x worse.

That stuff has no place on the alley keep it at home

[Aslan]

I've never had too much of a problem with that in the 3 leagues I've participated in.

Are there annoyances? Yes. Do some of them border on bad sportsmanship? Yes. Examples?

- A guy that got frustrated with his game and started throwing light house balls from the seating area.
- Same guy getting frustrated and bowling between his legs backwards.
- A lady that intentionally coughed when I was in the midst of my approach.
- A couple ladies and ladies teams that like use their "sexuality" to distract male opponents.
- This one lady that likes to yell like crazy whenever she is bowling well.
- A guy that got pissed at me because I approached the ball return while he was starting his approach.
- A fight between old people over one of the tables in the seating area.
- One lady that gets drunk and flirts a little more than her husband cares for so they get in a mini argument.

I mean, these things happen. Any time you get a group of people together, varying skill levels…THESE things happen.

If it's an issue of a person being rude or causing a disturbance, that is something to take to the league secretary. I know some people that have been warned by the league that if they continue to cause altercations and can't control their tempers, they will be asked not to return to the league.

I "personally" wouldn't intervene…because I'm nearly 40 years old and despite my size prefer not to spend a night in the hospital or jail if I don't absolutely HAVE to. BUT…I DO agree with Iceman in that if someone is kicking ball returns and damaging stuff…or really just displaying horrible sportsmanship and etiquette…I will probably say something. But the current center I bowl at, has a rather low tolerance for equipment damage so that kinda thing is minimal.

Sounds like you need to find a group of folks in the league you kinda "like" and see if you can switch teams for the next season.

[MICHAEL]

No, it's never about bowling. It's normally her badgering him about family life, telling him he can't have another beer, telling him that he needs to spend more time with her, blah blah blah. I told them after last week they need to leave their personal life at home and try to enjoy bowling. He never says anything negative to her, and eventually just gets fed up and tells her to go away, and that makes it 10x worse.


I see a REALITY TV SERIES HERE!!!!

[rv driver]

I've never had too much of a problem with that in the 3 leagues I've participated in.

Are there annoyances? Yes. Do some of them border on bad sportsmanship? Yes. Examples?

- A guy that got frustrated with his game and started throwing light house balls from the seating area.
- Same guy getting frustrated and bowling between his legs backwards.
- A lady that intentionally coughed when I was in the midst of my approach.
- A couple ladies and ladies teams that like use their "sexuality" to distract male opponents.
- This one lady that likes to yell like crazy whenever she is bowling well.
- A guy that got pissed at me because I approached the ball return while he was starting his approach.
- A fight between old people over one of the tables in the seating area.
- One lady that gets drunk and flirts a little more than her husband cares for so they get in a mini argument.

I mean, these things happen. Any time you get a group of people together, varying skill levels…THESE things happen.

If it's an issue of a person being rude or causing a disturbance, that is something to take to the league secretary. I know some people that have been warned by the league that if they continue to cause altercations and can't control their tempers, they will be asked not to return to the league.

I "personally" wouldn't intervene…because I'm nearly 40 years old and despite my size prefer not to spend a night in the hospital or jail if I don't absolutely HAVE to. BUT…I DO agree with Iceman in that if someone is kicking ball returns and damaging stuff…or really just displaying horrible sportsmanship and etiquette…I will probably say something. But the current center I bowl at, has a rather low tolerance for equipment damage so that kinda thing is minimal.

Sounds like you need to find a group of folks in the league you kinda "like" and see if you can switch teams for the next season.
<sigh> Why can't grown people simply behave themselves?! This is kindergarten nonsense!

[rv driver]

I see a REALITY TV SERIES HERE!!!!
"Honey Bowl-Bowl."

[fsbjcm]

I had a good night tonight. Guys were calm and not cussing and throwing stuff, the one girl nagged her husband but not too bad. Lo and behold, I bowl a couple of 200 games and we take all 4 points! It's a miracle haha.

[Amyers]

Glad for you that's the way it should be

[MICHAEL]

Focus

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/meditation-techniques_zpsb8fe4530.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/meditation-techniques_zpsb8fe4530.jpg.html)

[rv driver]

Focus

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/meditation-techniques_zpsb8fe4530.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/meditation-techniques_zpsb8fe4530.jpg.html)
Focus on what!? Dang! She's HOT. She could melt the Iceman. "The iceman cometh!"

Except for the hair. Don't cotton to the dreads much...

[MICHAEL]

Focus on what!? Dang! She's HOT. She could melt the Iceman. "The iceman cometh!"

Except for the hair. Don't cotton to the dreads much...

I bet the dreads would not deter ASLAN if he had the opportunity! I already check her out for Aslan, and her reply was: I don't date bowlers from San Diego, unless they have a 221 average or above.... (:(

[rv driver]

I bet the dreads would not deter ASLAN if he had the opportunity! I already check her out for Aslan, and her reply was: I don't date bowlers from San Diego, unless they have a 221 average or above.... (:(
Some people just simply shouldn't procreate.

[Birdz300]

I feel your pain and from my past experiences I would just do the fall leagues
Treat the summer as practice just as I do and put that craziness behind you it
It aint worth it. This is suppose to be fun and competitive but some carry it way too far and beyond that.
In reality they just want to be seen rather than bowling.I put a lot of time and money in this sport to be dealing with that craziness.I would Ignore it best you can and just let it go the best you can and being around people who carry themselves
better than that stuff only helps.
goodluck.

[MICHAEL]

Some people just simply shouldn't procreate.

ARE YOU insinuating ME rv driver?

[Mudpuppy]

"Honey Bowl-Bowl."

JAWESOME! (That's awesome but even awesome-er)


Focus on what!? Dang! She's HOT. She could melt the Iceman. "The iceman cometh!"

Except for the hair. Don't cotton to the dreads much...

Dreads wouldn't hold me back here - that's fo sho. I wouldn't care if she shaved her head. It's not the cover of the book you should judge but what the rest of the body looks like, er I mean what's on the inside or something. Way out of Aslan's league.

[rv driver]

ARE YOU insinuating ME rv driver?
My momma taught me never to insult iron workers.

Or bikers.

[rv driver]

JAWESOME! (That's awesome but even awesome-er)



Dreads wouldn't hold me back here - that's fo sho. I wouldn't care if she shaved her head. It's not the cover of the book you should judge but what the rest of the body looks like, er I mean what's on the inside or something. Way out of Aslan's league.
Didn't say I'd be held back; just not that into the dreads as a hotness factor. I'm discerning -- not frickin' dead!

[MICHAEL]

My momma taught me never to insult iron workers.

Or bikers.


Good advise, your momma gave you! What part of Missouri do you live? Anywhere close to Kansas city?

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg.html)

[rv driver]

Good advise, your momma gave you! What part of Missouri do you live? Anywhere close to Kansas city?

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg.html)
Springfield area -- about 3 hours, given traffic conditions. I'm fairly familiar with KC -- have several friends, family members, and former family members who live there. Attended some schooling in Platte Woods a few years back. Got married the first time in Shawnee Mission.

[rv driver]

Good advise, your momma gave you! What part of Missouri do you live? Anywhere close to Kansas city?

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/biker_zps2f20e5bf.jpg.html)
Gee, Ice, you look different in this picture than your avatar...

[larry mc]

This is my first full league, and I hate it. I was a sub in the fall league and had a blast, so I decided I 'd play summer. However, I got paired with 2 couples that are driving me crazy. One guy likes to yell and cuss (LOUDLY) and slam beer bottles down on the table and punch the ball return and so on and so forth. The girlfriend acts like nothing is happening. The other couple is constantly bickering and fighting, mostly due to the lady CONSTANTLY nagging the guy, yelling for him while he's bowling, asking him to go get her drinks and food, etc. I try to stay out of it and just bowl my game but it's hard when there is so much going on. And the behavior by the first guy mentioned is frankly embarrassing. We bowl with several 70+ year old women and to say he's over the top with his language (and volume) puts it mildly. Do I just quit? Come back for the fall league? I keep seeing these looks from the other bowlers like "you poor guy". It's not really even fun, as I'm expected to keep everyone in check. I got into this to bowl, not to referee haha. Tips?
laugh it off and bowl your game

[rv driver]

laugh it off and bowl your game
It's reeeeaaally tough for me to focus with that kind of burr under my saddle.

[fsbjcm]

Well I think the guy realized he was in the wrong and has been much more calm the past 3 weeks. I've bowled much better, and we have managed to win 10-2 over that span, putting us somewhere in the top half from dead last. Hopefully we can keep it going, but it's going to get harder considering my average keeps going up every week, so eventually I'm not going to be bowling an average of 40-50 pins over my average. But then again, it's only a 13 week league, so it may be over by the time that happens.