The Real Dead Beats of Orange County

[Bunny]

Just need to vent. Ya'll post comments that make me laugh. I'm hoping for that here.

I got a call a couple of months ago from a girl in LA. We're both animal massage practitioners (my part time business) and have done some charity events together.

Anyway, she got a call from a girl in Newport Coast who had an exclusive client that was having a doggie party the following day and wanted an animal massage person there for her guests' pooches. My colleague wasn't available and passed on the opportunity to me.

I received a call from the girl with the client. She said that here client was one of the women on Real Housewives that was having the party. Not one of the main girls but she's on the show. She asked if I could bring some oils too.

OK STOP HERE.


I had an Angel/Devil on my shoulder moment a la Animal House. It was really like that!

The Angel said, "No way! You don not like those people. They're horrible, and fake, and make you sick. Don't do it! Don't you do it"

Ah. But the Devil, he is cunning. He said in a sweet little voice, "Yeah but, you can make a little cash. Wouldn't some cash be nice!"

"Go away Angel. I want money! I need money." I said to my Angel.

"Suit yourself." Replied my Angel and *poof* they were gone.


I didn't say no and I feel like I literally sold my soul to the Devil. Blechhh.



I did the event and made custom essential oil blends for all the guests. I did a wonderful job. The maid thanked me for calming down the dog that had been driving her crazy all day. Guests commented on how the dogs really seemed to get a lot out of their sessions. All the while I had to listen inane babble from the Real Housewives/Newport Coast crowd. They were everything I expected and so much less. The complete, shallow bs that came out of their mouths was nearly unbearable. The groomer said that she was going to charge double for having to listen to it for four hours! But I didn't say anything. I tried not to have a personal dislike toward them. They're people too I tried to keep telling myself and just concentrated on my job.


They were straight out of Stepford. One couple came with their two blinged out dogs in a top of line Bentley. Their nanny and their kid came behind in a matching Bentley. They never interacted with their kids once. None of them did.


As the party was wrapping up I asked the girl who hired me how to handle the money situation.

"Did you bring an invoice?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." I replied.

"Ok. She'll pay you a grand and probably tip you too."

I thought to myself that's not what I asked but that was about what I was going to charge anyway. $35 x 10 = $350 for the oils and $600 for a rush special event = $950.


I handed the woman who wants her own Real Houswives show and who was having the party (Jackie Melby) the invoice. She asked me to come back tomorrow to pick up a check.

BIG MISTAKE!! When I returned the next day they were recording for the tv show. The maid came out and said that they were busy. I told her to put the check in the mail, my address is on the invoice. So, no check after a month. I mailed a new invoice offering a discount if paid within 30 days. No check. Nothing. I texted the girl who hired me asking what was up. She texted me back hours later with only "What's your address?"

Ok. More games. You have my address but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt again. I gave my PO BOX. That was two weeks ago. Still nothing.


As Red from That 70's Show would say.


F************************************************* *******************************CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm a little better now. Thanks for reading! Please make me laugh at this somehow!!

[Aslan]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

[rv driver]

Just need to vent. Ya'll post comments that make me laugh. I'm hoping for that here.

I got a call a couple of months ago from a girl in LA. We're both animal massage practitioners (my part time business) and have done some charity events together.

Anyway, she got a call from a girl in Newport Coast who had an exclusive client that was having a doggie party the following day and wanted an animal massage person there for her guests' pooches. My colleague wasn't available and passed on the opportunity to me.

I received a call from the girl with the client. She said that here client was one of the women on Real Housewives that was having the party. Not one of the main girls but she's on the show. She asked if I could bring some oils too.

OK STOP HERE.


I had an Angel/Devil on my shoulder moment a la Animal House. It was really like that!

The Angel said, "No way! You don not like those people. They're horrible, and fake, and make you sick. Don't do it! Don't you do it"

Ah. But the Devil, he is cunning. He said in a sweet little voice, "Yeah but, you can make a little cash. Wouldn't some cash be nice!"

"Go away Angel. I want money! I need money." I said to my Angel.

"Suit yourself." Replied my Angel and *poof* they were gone.


I didn't say no and I feel like I literally sold my soul to the Devil. Blechhh.



I did the event and made custom essential oil blends for all the guests. I did a wonderful job. The maid thanked me for calming down the dog that had been driving her crazy all day. Guests commented on how the dogs really seemed to get a lot out of their sessions. All the while I had to listen inane babble from the Real Housewives/Newport Coast crowd. They were everything I expected and so much less. The complete, shallow bs that came out of their mouths was nearly unbearable. The groomer said that she was going to charge double for having to listen to it for four hours! But I didn't say anything. I tried not to have a personal dislike toward them. They're people too I tried to keep telling myself and just concentrated on my job.


They were straight out of Stepford. One couple came with their two blinged out dogs in a top of line Bentley. Their nanny and their kid came behind in a matching Bentley. They never interacted with their kids once. None of them did.


As the party was wrapping up I asked the girl who hired me how to handle the money situation.

"Did you bring an invoice?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." I replied.

"Ok. She'll pay you a grand and probably tip you too."

I thought to myself that's not what I asked but that was about what I was going to charge anyway. $35 x 10 = $350 for the oils and $600 for a rush special event = $950.


I handed the woman who wants her own Real Houswives show and who was having the party (Jackie Melby) the invoice. She asked me to come back tomorrow to pick up a check.

BIG MISTAKE!! When I returned the next day they were recording for the tv show. The maid came out and said that they were busy. I told her to put the check in the mail, my address is on the invoice. So, no check after a month. I mailed a new invoice offering a discount if paid within 30 days. No check. Nothing. I texted the girl who hired me asking what was up. She texted me back hours later with only "What's your address?"

Ok. More games. You have my address but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt again. I gave my PO BOX. That was two weeks ago. Still nothing.


As Red from That 70's Show would say...


F************************************************* *******************************************CK!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm a little better now. Thanks for reading! Please make me laugh at this somehow!!
I have 3 words of advice for you:

Cash. Up. Front.

[Bunny]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

Only every 11 minutes? Lol!! Thanks for the laugh!! :D

[Bunny]

I have 3 words of advice for you:

Cash. Up. Front.




1161

[Amyers]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

I was so worried about where you were going with this.

People actually pay to have animals massaged I know I'm from the woods but you people truly will spend money on anything. I had a friend in St. Louis who payed like two hundred bucks a day to board his dog at some fancy place couldn't believe it I told him I would have stuck it out in my back yard for $50 bucks. Some how he didn't think it was quite the same.

[Aslan]

I was so worried about where you were going with this.

People actually pay to have animals massaged I know I'm from the woods but you people truly will spend money on anything. I had a friend in St. Louis who payed like two hundred bucks a day to board his dog at some fancy place couldn't believe it I told him I would have stuck it out in my back yard for $50 bucks. Some how he didn't think it was quite the same.

Well, in his defense…most people in West Virginia might eat the poor animal…so it's good to let the professionals keep an eye on it.

[classygranny]

I don't know what to say to make you laugh. This should certainly be a learning experience for you. We probably have all been there, done that.

Keep sending a bill - every 10 days! BUT, no discount for payment, you should tack on late charges. Perhaps the invoice is too "PETTY" for them to be troubled by. Keep "PESTERING" everyone involved. May work, may not, but at least you can be annoying - and have a reason for being so.

[Bunny]

I don't know what to say to make you laugh. This should certainly be a learning experience for you. We probably have all been there, done that.

Keep sending a bill - every 10 days! BUT, no discount for payment, you should tack on late charges. Perhaps the invoice is too "PETTY" for them to be troubled by. Keep "PESTERING" everyone involved. May work, may not, but at least you can be annoying - and have a reason for being so.


Thanks Girl! It's just sad that some people have to take something positive and healing, and turn into something negative. :(

I'll be bugging them often and will probably end up filing a small claims lawsuit.

[Mike White]

Thanks Girl! It's just sad that some people have to take something positive and healing, and turn into something negative. :(

I'll be bugging them often and will probably end up filing a small claims lawsuit.

Let us know when you're going to be on Judge Judy.

I'll make an exception and watch that episode.

[rv driver]

Let us know when you're going to be on Judge Judy.

I'll make an exception and watch that episode.
Oh, man! I'd watch that episode, too!

[Bunny]

Update: I took Classy G's advice and starting billing every 10 days. I also added the girl who hired me to the bill and sent it to her work address. (I discovered that I couldn't add late fees. Late fees can only be charged if it was part of the contract ahead of time.) But, I definitely billed the full price!

I sent out three bills so far starting on the first of the July.

I received a text this morning from the girl who hired me stating she has my payment and asking if I could meet her in Newport this afternoon. So I'm thinking what kind of shenanigans are you up to. I told my husband and he said that he would go since he's off work today and has an appointment near there this afternoon.

I texted her back and told her I'm available from 12-1.

She texted back saying that she's not available until 7pm. That's not this afternoon I thought to myself. More bs I'm thinking.


It feels like more games. We'll see.

[Amyers]

Good luck Bunny if she doesn't show keep the text message and file a small claims law suit.

[Mudpuppy]

Typical. You came, did a good job and then they stiffed you. Why is it that people with money do this? Some people say it's why they have money. I saw it's because they have no morals and values and if that is what a lot of money does for you then I guess I will just be happy being broke. I do ok and I try to spread the wealth as much as I can. I feel it's the right thing to do. If someone does a good job then they should be compensated based on that. Performance based incentive - isn't that what built this great country? But no it's me - po widdle mp that is the a in the hole when I complain about bad service, etc. Maybe it's my approach. I went to the Aslan finishing school so I never just calmly complain. I dig up their ancestors and make it a party. Not one is left not thoroughly insulted. Party favors for all. I put the obscene in making a scene - but I do it with class (somewhat) and sophistication - guaranteed that 99% of the people won't completely understand what I just said or the actual elevated level of my sarcasm. I have zero tolerance policy on incompetence based on being f'ing lazy.

In terms of these orange county idiots - your first instinct was right. Now you sold your soul and you didn't get paid - double whammy. Learning experience. Next time don't do it. But ultimately these plastic people are so insanely unhappy with their pathetic materialistic lives just be happy knowing they will suffer their whole meaningless life and then die all alone because not one single one of them cares about humanity or decency or anything remotely related. You said it all - they NEVER interacted with their own kids. What parents don't care one iota about their kids? They all make me sick. What a waste of existence and our precious finite natural resources.

[Aslan]

Why is it that people with money do this? Some people say it's why they have money.

I think part of it is also...a LOT of people on the "cusp" of being truly "rich"...they want to give off the perception that they are something more.

To you and I and most people on here...we'd be so happy to just have lets say $30,000 in our bank account...or a very large, nice house with affordable payments, or a brand new car...that we don't look at it the same way. Once people get on the cusp of "fame" or "fortune"...they aren't content with being the "poorest millionaire". It seems foreign to us...but I remember the following:

Growing up, I knew 2 "rich" familes. One was wealthy and owned like 13 McDonalds restaurants. Another was even wealthier and most of their money came from the oil business. When we'd go to their houses or out to dinner with them...same with most other families...it was no big deal. Just a fun night in a kinda fancy environment. But when both families were present...hosting the other family....everything got ratcheted up a notch...because they wanted to make sure that they were sending the message that we have more money, or you may have more money but we have more style, or whatever....it was this sort of "competition" between them. I'd have settled for having 1/15th what the poorest of them had....and I'd have been content. But that world of the rich and famous is a much different world.

I think these reality show stars...they aren't content with being wealthy, reality show, D-List celebrities. They want to be "B-List" celebrities. They want to be the most beautiful and most liked and throw the best parties. But many times, people like that may not have the wealth they are actually trying to portray. It sounds like this D-List celebrity wanted to throw a 3 million dollar party but probably coluld have only afforded a $30,000 party...over-extended...and now is doing the typical rich person shuffle where they try to stiff the little folks and justify it with the mindset that, "Well, that person should have been grateful they were even part of my world...that should be payment enough."

[Mudpuppy]

Mindless consumption and meaningless existence. It's pathetic really.

[rv driver]

Entitlement is an illness.

[manke]

Bunny did you ever get paid?

[Bunny]

Update: I went back and forth for a few days with the animal hospital girl that hired me. She kept wanting me to drive up there. I kept telling her to just mail the check and that I wasn't driving anywhere to meet her. She finally texted saying something about some paperwork. I told her to fax it. It was a typed statement saying that I had received full payment. (Along with a huge grammatical error "except" rather than "accept." How lame.) She actually had the nerve to ask me to fax it back and then she would mail the payment. I told her that I would sign it and return it just as soon as I actually received full payment!

I'd had enough of the games and wasting time. I turned it over to my collections department i.e. my husband. He went back and forth with her as well. Same s**t...come pick up a check. "No. Mail it." She offered $500. (So that's what all this bs back and forth is about-trying to stiff me.)

"Not acceptable" he replied. Then the girl texted something back about witnesses and price. My husband replied, "Good. They can be subpoenaed." "Really?" she quickly texted back. Then proceeded to have a little temper tantrum texting "someone like you doesn't know business" to my husband.

That was that. I'm done messing with you fools. Now my claws are out. You don't mess with my family!

I immediately went to the court's website and put together a demand letter giving the Real Deadbeats of OC 10 days to pay or I'd file a small claims lawsuit without further notice. How's that for business?

Before I mailed the letter I received a text from someone claiming to be a prospective client asking only how much did I charge per hour. I googled her number, it was some real estate chick from the ultra rich and douchey Corona Del Mar. Which is right next to Newport Coast. No one just texts me out of the blue. It was obviously them. And no one texts me asking that question. I've been the business since 2008. People want to talk about their beloved pets.

I mailed the letter a few days later on the 5th.

Check for full amount came via express mail on the 15th. :p

[Bunny]

Bunny did you ever get paid?

Manke-I didn't see this until after I posted the update. Your timing is uncanny!

[Aslan]

The odd thing about this story is...it's EXACTLY how I'd expect a "Real Housewife of Orange County" to behave. Like, I'd be WAY more shocked if Bunny had said, "hey, I did business with a real housewife of the OC and she was super nice and down to Earth and paid me and thanked me." I'd have been like, "NO WAY!"

Worst combination..."RICH", "ATTRACTIVE", "FAMOUS",and "FEMALE". Just TWO of those is usually a huge problem. But ALL FOUR!!? Now you've got a legitimate nightmare!!

...excluding classygranny of course...

[Jaescrub]

Update: I went back and forth for a few days with the animal hospital girl that hired me. She kept wanting me to drive up there. I kept telling her to just mail the check and that I wasn't driving anywhere to meet her. She finally texted saying something about some paperwork. I told her to fax it. It was a typed statement saying that I had received full payment. (Along with a huge grammatical error "except" rather than "accept." How lame.) She actually had the nerve to ask me to fax it back and then she would mail the payment. I told her that I would sign it and return it just as soon as I actually received full payment!

I'd had enough of the games and wasting time. I turned it over to my collections department i.e. my husband. He went back and forth with her as well. Same s**t...come pick up a check. "No. Mail it." She offered $500. (So that's what all this bs back and forth is about-trying to stiff me.)

"Not acceptable" he replied. Then the girl texted something back about witnesses and price. My husband replied, "Good. They can be subpoenaed." "Really?" she quickly texted back. Then proceeded to have a little temper tantrum texting "someone like you doesn't know business" to my husband.

That was that. I'm done messing with you fools. Now my claws are out. You don't mess with my family!

I immediately went to the court's website and put together a demand letter giving the Real Deadbeats of OC 10 days to pay or I'd file a small claims lawsuit without further notice. How's that for business?

Before I mailed the letter I received a text from someone claiming to be a prospective client asking only how much did I charge per hour. I googled her number, it was some real estate chick from the ultra rich and douchey Corona Del Mar. Which is right next to Newport Coast. No one just texts me out of the blue. It was obviously them. And no one texts me asking that question. I've been the business since 2008. People want to talk about their beloved pets. Effing idiots.

I mailed the letter a few days later on the 5th.

Check for full amount came via express mail on the 15th. :p
Good to hear! Most people with money that don't have to work have no clue.

[Amyers]

Glad to hear that you finally got paid bunny.

[MiggityMatt]

So glad to hear you got your money.

Please sign and return this paper saying you received full payment? What an insult to your intelligence! :mad:

Bunch of D-bags...

[rv driver]

Why do we give these people the validation of our media attention?

[Amyers]

Why do we give these people the validation of our media attention?

Because the average person is an idiot

[Aslan]

Why do we give these people the validation of our media attention?

Because TV networks have realize that it's more pofitable to pay a small amount to a bunch of no-name, C-list trainwrecks to act stupid and amuse people than it is to pay actual actors and special effects folks and stunt people to put on an actual show of any possible value. So now a network can run one good tv show a night and then run 2-4 "reality" shows about tatoo artists, pawn shops, antique hunting, modeling, bar ownership, cooking, make-up, being rich, being young and pregnant, becoming a singer, becoming a comedian, being an MMA fighter, being a duck hunter, hoarding, being an arm wrestler, etc..., etc..., etc....

It all started way back in the 90s with "The Real World" where they picked young, attractive people to all live together. Then they realized it got better ratings if they would fight with each other. Then they realized the folks would fight more often and intensely if you made them polar opposites so they started casting a jew and a nazi, a redneck and a gay, a feminist and a misogynist, etc... Then they edit out all the normal everday stuff...and people get to watch them hit each other and scream and just generally act like complete trash. The networks then took that model and ran with it, until eventually you had "Survivor" which started out as a sort of "game show" based on survival...but eventually degraded into a soap opera of how 12 people who are the garbage juice of society get along when they are half naked and competing against one another in some god forsaken little camp. And so on, and so forth.

So it's not as much about "society" as it is about $$$$. You can always find the problem if you trace the $$$$!!

Not that society is blameless. I still can't figure out how low of an IQ is necessary to buy tabloid magazines...yet they still sell the things. I can't figure out how a liberal can watch John Oliver or MSNBC and not realize what an obviously biased network they are...or how a conservative can watch Fox News and not realize what a completely biased network it is...yet people still buy tabloids and repeat stuff they hear on those networks as "facts".

Hey...hopefully, I'll die young. I figure 11-36 years from now...all this nonsense will come to a head and I don't want to be here for that.

[manke]

Thats great to hear!!

[rv driver]

Because TV networks have realize that it's more pofitable to pay a small amount to a bunch of no-name, C-list trainwrecks to act stupid and amuse people than it is to pay actual actors and special effects folks and stunt people to put on an actual show of any possible value. So now a network can run one good tv show a night and then run 2-4 "reality" shows about tatoo artists, pawn shops, antique hunting, modeling, bar ownership, cooking, make-up, being rich, being young and pregnant, becoming a singer, becoming a comedian, being an MMA fighter, being a duck hunter, hoarding, being an arm wrestler, etc..., etc..., etc....

It all started way back in the 90s with "The Real World" where they picked young, attractive people to all live together. Then they realized it got better ratings if they would fight with each other. Then they realized the folks would fight more often and intensely if you made them polar opposites so they started casting a jew and a nazi, a redneck and a gay, a feminist and a misogynist, etc... Then they edit out all the normal everday stuff...and people get to watch them hit each other and scream and just generally act like complete trash. The networks then took that model and ran with it, until eventually you had "Survivor" which started out as a sort of "game show" based on survival...but eventually degraded into a soap opera of how 12 people who are the garbage juice of society get along when they are half naked and competing against one another in some god forsaken little camp. And so on, and so forth.

So it's not as much about "society" as it is about $$$$. You can always find the problem if you trace the $$$$!!

Not that society is blameless. I still can't figure out how low of an IQ is necessary to buy tabloid magazines...yet they still sell the things. I can't figure out how a liberal can watch John Oliver or MSNBC and not realize what an obviously biased network they are...or how a conservative can watch Fox News and not realize what a completely biased network it is...yet people still buy tabloids and repeat stuff they hear on those networks as "facts".

Hey...hopefully, I'll die young. I figure 11-36 years from now...all this nonsense will come to a head and I don't want to be here for that.
Leave it to American business to take a crappy idea and completely run it into the ground.

But, as George Carlin said, this is a great country because, "when the chips are down, you can always go into a store and buy some mints."

[classygranny]

Worst combination..."RICH", "ATTRACTIVE", "FAMOUS",and "FEMALE". Just TWO of those is usually a huge problem. But ALL FOUR!!? Now you've got a legitimate nightmare!!

...excluding classygranny of course...

Well since I'm only one of those (you choose which one) I guess I can't be considered a legitimate nightmare!

Bunny, so glad this nightmare is over for you!!!