Bad Expierence

[Amyers]

My home center closed at the end of fall and a lot of the people I bowled with moved to a different center for summer. I ended up doing most of my bowling at another local center due to the fact that the center the others went to didn't offer a Friday night league during the summer. The center where most of the others went does do a fall league on Friday's and I had let it be known that the wife and I intended to bowl on that league this fall. I started contacting my friends from the previous fall a couple of weeks ago only to find out that everyone already had a team set up for the fall season. So I contact the league president and let him know that we were interested in bowling their this fall and was told that he didn't know of anyone looking for teammates but he would see if he could find anyone. He also asked me if I realized this was a high end league and I told him yes.

Two weeks went by no responses but there was a post on Facebook asking for team line ups and I commented on the post that I was interested in bowling in this league and for anyone to contact me if they needed a teammate or two. There was two other posters who also said they were interested but needed teammates. I contact the first who I know and was told that he was mistaken that he did have a team and forgot about it? weird. Then I contacted the other who I don't really know and after a few days received a response that he had already found a team and that this was a high level league and maybe I would be better off bowling on Wednesday or Thursday league. WTF. I also contacted another bowler that bowls on that league and basically got the same response.

This is not a scratch league handicap 90% of 230. Are there some seriously good bowlers on this league? Yes. I know about 75% of the guys on this league and honestly I would admit that 50% of them may be in my territory or slightly above the others not so much. I averaged 195 last fall about 5th in my league. Do I think I'm among the elites here in the valley? No. Have I beat most of them head to head at one time or another? Yep. There are supposedly 16 teams in this league 4 person teams that's 64 bowlers There are not 64 above 200 average bowlers in the entire area more less just in that house.

I really didn't expect to win this league I'm sure there are a couple of teams that have all high average guys who are 220-230 averages but I don't see my 190+ or my wife's 160+ average being a death knell for a handicap team league. We generally have good attitudes show up so I can't figure why it is we would be black balled for all intents and purposes. Heck even if we lost every game I would think having a larger field and additional people paying in to the prize fund would be a good thing. Not sure if someone has a beef with me or if they didn't want a woman in the league (all the other bowlers were male on the team list post I seen) but it is marketed as a mixed league.

Needless to say I'm bowling somewhere else. We've already put a team together at another house but I don't really think I've felt this ostracized since high school. :(

[jab5325]

It's sad to hear about situations like this, and that adults act like 7th grade children.

Amyers, you lucked out actually......though it's frustrating and maddening, you're lucky to not be bowling with a bunch of dullards like that.

The sport is dying in so many local alleys.....and groups/leagues like this turning away people is another piece to the puzzle.

[manke]

Don't worry about it, go and have fun in your new league and not give a second thought about it.

[John Anderson]

If somebody doesn't want you there, you might want to stay clear of that place anyways. Go have more fun somewhere else and take your business elsewhere to a more friendly place. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm sure you will find a place that is better than what you are used to.

[bowl1820]

Sorry to hear that, That's the thing with a lot very competitive/high money etc. leagues. The bowlers thought process's can change about who they want bowling with them. They want a certain feel on the team and if they think you can't fill the bill, your out.

One league they couldn't careless, another if you don't have your shirt tucked in they wouldn't bowl with you for nothing.

[Amyers]

Sorry to hear that, That's the thing with a lot very competitive/high money etc. leagues. The bowlers thought process's can change about who they want bowling with them. They want a certain feel on the team and if they think you can't fill the bill, your out.

One league they couldn't careless, another if you don't have your shirt tucked in they wouldn't bowl with you for nothing.

That is what bothered me the most if it had just been me walking in off the street (although that would still be wrong) But this was mostly people I know and had bowled with before. Maybe part of it is my game still old school I can't go out and drop 4 or 5 baggers on a regular basis and miss every other spare I shoot at. I have to grind it out couple of spares couple of strikes bunch more spares at the end of the day were both at 200 seems the same to me but maybe not maybe it's more important how you look when your scoring now.

[fokai73]

I had a similar experience when I first moved to my current location several yeas ago. I was rejected by 4 guys in two leagues whom I met during practice. Maybe it's my practice method or my classic style too, but these guys came up with many excuses.

I ended up in a fun family league which I was the only non white person in this 12 team league. I had much fun in this league, I ended up bowling this league 4 years straight. Who said you can't have fun with a bunch of rednecks lol.. I miss these guys. Some moved to Montana for more hunting, Washington state for work, and the other guy passed on. I was even the younger one in this league when I first joined too. Best league I had ever joined in my bowling life!

Anyway, the same guys who didn't give me a chance, well they call and text almost every year asking to be if I wanted to join their team, or get my name dropped in to be drafted in the travel league. I see some of them in tourneys or in the summer sport leagues, but i'll never team up with these guys. One even asked me to drop pins so I can make the cap?!!

I suggest you bowl with people who accepts you, it'll be much funner. Likewise, let your bowling do the talking. When these dudes found out what my average was, or knew I was cashing in scratch brackets against regional guys in tourneys, all of a sudden they're my friends. Bull doo doo!! I don't associate with guys like that. I prefer these back pocket towel yielding, tobacco chewing, Keys on a chain hanging by their waist side, dirty truck or construction worker bowlers who yell at every spare and get excited for a 6 bagger like I'm at a baseball game. Damn I miss these guys. The memories will last forever.....

[jab5325]

I had a similar experience when I first moved to my current location several yeas ago. I was rejected by 4 guys in two leagues whom I met during practice. Maybe it's my practice method or my classic style too, but these guys came up with many excuses.

I ended up in a fun family league which I was the only non white person in this 12 team league. I had much fun in this league, I ended up bowling this league 4 years straight. Who said you can't have fun with a bunch of rednecks lol.. I miss these guys. Some moved to Montana for more hunting, Washington state for work, and the other guy passed on. I was even the younger one in this league when I first joined too. Best league I had ever joined in my bowling life!

Anyway, the same guys who didn't give me a chance, well they call and text almost every year asking to be if I wanted to join their team, or get my name dropped in to be drafted in the travel league. I see some of them in tourneys or in the summer sport leagues, but i'll never team up with these guys. One even asked me to drop pins so I can make the cap?!!

I suggest you bowl with people who accepts you, it'll be much funner. Likewise, let your bowling do the talking. When these dudes found out what my average was, or knew I was cashing in scratch brackets against regional guys in tourneys, all of a sudden they're my friends. Bull doo doo!! I don't associate with guys like that. I prefer these back pocket towel yielding, tobacco chewing, Keys on a chain hanging by their waist side, dirty truck or construction worker bowlers who yell at every spare and get excited for a 6 bagger like I'm at a baseball game. Damn I miss these guys. The memories will last forever.....

Good for you, fokai73. I love hearing things like this, and you're absolutely correct.

By the way....congrats on cashing in those tournaments!

[LyalC52]

From my eye, I think your wife is the one who lucked out.
When I bowl with my wife and/or daughter, I want it to be in a fairly balanced mixed league so they feel comfortable.

BTW, my game is much like yours. Take the strikes when they come, and focus on picking up spares.
The other night I was giving one of the two handers a hard time about writing love letters on the score board.
He either had a strike or a split in nearly every frame the entire night

[fokai73]

Good for you, fokai73. I love hearing things like this, and you're absolutely correct.

By the way....congrats on cashing in those tournaments!

Thanks, last tourney I didn't fair too well. Those guys took my money....well not all of it....lol but, we had fun. Some of the regional guys are my friends and we get nuts against each other. but at the end of the day, we drink!

With my old friends....After several years removed from this league, I am still in contact with these guys. they show off their trouts, deers, and new quads they bought lol. One day I'll make it up to Montana and maybe learn to shoot a bow hahaha!

To the OP, screw those guys man! Make better with the other leagues and enjoy!

[Amyers]

From my eye, I think your wife is the one who lucked out.
When I bowl with my wife and/or daughter, I want it to be in a fairly balanced mixed league so they feel comfortable.

BTW, my game is much like yours. Take the strikes when they come, and focus on picking up spares.
The other night I was giving one of the two handers a hard time about writing love letters on the score board.
He either had a strike or a split in nearly every frame the entire night

Under normal circumstances you would probably be correct but my wife's a little different. She's an electrician for Toyota and is used to being in male dominated locals. She also throws a better ball than I do 16-17 mph and 350 rev rate or so. She figures out how to move her feet and finishes figuring out her new spare ball (making progress) she's going to be kicking my a$$ on a regular basis. seems to be beating me about 1 out of every 4 games over the last few weeks anyway.

To the point of moving on you guys are correct and I have. Posted more so hopefully others in a similar situation may think about what and how they say things if they find themselves in similar situations. I figure we will have a great time at the other house.

[Aslan]

1) The simple solution to this problem that, if it were me, I'd suggest to the center is that they make the league capped at a certain number like 775.

Caps force some of this higher level, close knit leagues to bring in non-elite bowlers so they can stay under the cap.

2) If a guy ever tells me I'm not good enough to bowl in a handicap league...no matter who is in the league...I'd probably laugh so hard I'd pull a muscle. My response: "If you guys were THAT good, you'd be in a sport shot scratch league...not a 90% of 230 league." Whoever told you that is a joke. IMO.

I've NEVER had a problem getting in a league.

I admit, I am in a great situation because there are so many centers around me that centers and leagues have to compete with each other for business and can't afford to act that way. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I wanted to join a travel league and was told it was full...for like the last 2-3 seasons. I guarantee if I averaged 225 they'd have found me a spot. And there are a lot of Asian leagues...and it's just part of that culture that they don't really like bowling with other cultures so a lot of those leagues are full/closed to new members...but again, if I were Asian...I'm sure I'd have been approached to bowl with them.

And no, I'm not Asian. That's an "L".... :mad:

But this kinda happened with the sport shot league I was in. It wasn't that they didn't want me...they are struggling to keep it going and wanted as many people as they can get...it was just that it's a scratch league. I averaged 149 both times (sport conditions) in that league and if I didn't show up...the empty spot got like 160. So nobody wants someone on their team that is constantly killing their chances to win. So each season I'd get paired with other low average bowlers...except MWhite when he joined...and usually our team would be near the bottom. The two teams at the top, all 195+ average bowlers (on sport conditions)...surprise surprise...seemed to always be the top two teams.

The outlook I have...is that someday....someday I'm going to be better than those guys. At some point, they'll notice me and instead of me scrambling to find a doubles partner or a team for the USBC Open...bowlers will come find me. Until then, my only option is to keep getting better. And sometimes a chip on one's shoulder is just what ya need.

[Tony]

Sorry to hear of your high end league situation, usually leagues around here are fairly accepting of everyone that wants to bowl, we have a wide variety of people and levels of bowling from 140 average to 245 average. It's too bad that group is so closed minded to not want to accept more members, you would be welcome to bowl in my league but it's not a mixed league and there have never been any woman in it.
You might have hit on the reason, if it's all guys they might not want to add woman to the mix?
Many of the mixed leagues around here are the beer and pizza leagues, they are marketed toward more casual bowlers and it's a better deal for the money. They run 3 13 week seasons or something like that. I have only subbed but would not hesitate to join.

Have fun with the league you're with and don't worry about those guys.....