View Full Version : why do people try to help when not asked?
fokai73
02-15-2017, 02:49 AM
In the area where I live there seems to be a trend of regular bowlers who play coach. These guys watch others during open bowling/practice, see some flaws or whatever, then approach the lanes that person is bowing on and start coaching him or her. I know newbies welcome such help, but other long time bowlers may not feel the same way. And, these people don't have any formal training to coach. At the same time, there are many good bowlers who can coach and who do not need or refuse to be a certified coach.
I know three bowlers who like to offer assistance when not asked. And boy, some of these guys give bad advice. It's scary!!
Blomer
02-15-2017, 06:45 AM
I've been victim to this. There's this guy who has twice played coach with me. He just comes up with a stick and says do this or that. I've been bowling for four years, know what I want and need to do. His style is totally different than mine. He just won't leave. Lol. The two times I just couldn't tell him I got it thanks but no thanks. But if he tries again, ill let him know.
Timmyb
02-15-2017, 06:56 AM
The only people I try to help are the guys on my team, and the extent of that is "hey, don't do that s**t anymore".
NewToBowling
02-15-2017, 09:34 AM
Yep, I would cringe if I ever saw a bowler randomly trying to coach another bowler. Bowlers have their own style Let them be. If they want help they will ask for it.
1VegasBowler
02-15-2017, 09:37 AM
I won't offer any advice to those who don't ask because it gives the impression of a know it all.
If somebody comes up and asks me, that's a different story. My teammates ask me something each week and I am more than happy to help when I can, and certainly even encourage them to let me know if they see something I might be doing wrong. But that I limit to my teammates because they see me every week.
Even if an opponent asks me something I'll help just to show them I'm willing to see other bowlers get better, and the reason I do this is because I am more of a higher profile player as a member of our local USBC Board of Directors. I have to show that board members do care about the bowlers.
Even as a member of Team Brunswick, I have to show that I am worthy of having that title. Whether it's by helping others, or by dressing appropriately when I wear my shirts that have the Brunswick name on them, meaning I have to wear slacks, belt, etc.
None of are so good to have an arrogance when it comes to unsolicited advice. Like with any human being, people will perform to each of their own abilities
J Anderson
02-15-2017, 11:05 AM
In the area where I live there seems to be a trend of regular bowlers who play coach. These guys watch others during open bowling/practice, see some flaws or whatever, then approach the lanes that person is bowing on and start coaching him or her. I know newbies welcome such help, but other long time bowlers may not feel the same way. And, these people don't have any formal training to coach. At the same time, there are many good bowlers who can coach and who do not need or refuse to be a certified coach.
I know three bowlers who like to offer assistance when not asked. And boy, some of these guys give bad advice. It's scary!!
Three of my friends do this, and they honestly mean well. They really want others to enjoy the game as much as they do. One is actually quite helpful. He will suggest a slight adjustment, or say something like keep your speed up., and is generally right on. One is almost completely useless, parroting what he was taught years ago or telling people what they did wrong, with no explanation of how to correct it. The third guy is somewhere in between, sometimes quite helpful, sometimes spouting complete nonsense.
While I am a certified coach, outside of working with the youth league, I wait until I am asked for advice before I give any, or on rare occasions I will ask someone if they would like some advice.
got_a_300
02-17-2017, 05:46 PM
Like the old saying goes (those that can do..... and those that can't teach)
man I guess I'd make a great teacher then. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never offer any kind of advice to other bowlers unless they specifically ask
me for advice or help.
We used to have this one guy that used to get on everyone's nerves as he just
thought he knowed it all and he would try and tell even the best bowlers in the
place how to bowl or try telling them they were doing something wrong.
He finally quit bowling at the center........ thank goodness and good riddance he
will not be missed at all. LOL!!!!!!
foreverincamo
02-17-2017, 07:33 PM
This is prominent in bowling and golf. I'm sure they all mean well but it's annoying as all get out!
LOUVIT
02-18-2017, 01:20 PM
I gave one person a tip when I bowled with him. Didn't know him well but we hit it off. He was outside the ball, (something I learned here) I advised him to position his thumb at 1 o'clock or so until release. He came to me and said ever since you told me that my average has gone up every week. Didn't make me feel like a coach but did make me feel good that he concentrated on doing it and succeeded. I am one of those 160 average bowlers that know the game well but can't do what I know has to be done. I myself started concentrating on one issue at a time and it's working.
fordman1
02-18-2017, 04:32 PM
1st and most important thing to tell new bowlers: If you don't hit the pin out in the front you odds go way down.
manke
02-20-2017, 01:50 PM
Fordman1 that statement makes no sense what so ever. What do you mean hit the pin in front of you. NO new bowler will understand that!
J Anderson
02-20-2017, 03:38 PM
Fordman1 that statement makes no seance what so ever. What do you mean hit the pin in front of you. NO new bowler will understand that!
Only because his proofreader didn't notice one missing letter. Should have read:"1st and most important thing to tell new bowlers: If you don't hit the pin out in the front your odds go way down.
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