Tips for controlling one's emotions?

[morgothaod]

I try to not get mad and act like a jerk at the bowling alley. However, there are rare occasions when I take out my frustration on the ball return or console :o. Any tips for how I can control my emotions 100% of the time? I guess I could find alternative ways to react like clapping my hands together or throwing my rosin bag down heh. I know bowling is supposed to be fun but I sometimes just want to hurry up and go home!

[GrumpyCatFace]

Dude it’s bowling. You’re not competing for a living, just have a good time. You’ll bowl better too.

[Phonetek]

First realize that acting like that certainly will NOT help you bowl better. Second, it's going to make your teammates and other bowlers not want to bowl with you. Nobody likes bowling with or being around a hothead. If you seen someone acting like that what would you think of them? Third, if an employee sees you beating on the equipment and acting like a fool you will likely get thrown out or banned. I work at a bowling center and anyone doing what you described would be out the door no questions asked. Happily I don't have to do it often but I have had to do it, sometimes with the assistance of local law enforcement. Fourth, your antics are being recorded by the establishment and you could be held liable for any damages. Lastly, probably the most likely is that someone with a cell phone will record you and you'll end up a YouTube star under the heading "Guy misses 10 pin and goes psycho"

Like Grumpy said, it's bowling! When you get upset, go grab a beer, an ice cold soda, a Xanex or an order of chicken wings. How many people have you ever seen angry after eating chicken wings? Well, nobody besides maybe members of PETA. Anyway, there are probably a dozen better reasons in an average day to get upset over besides bowling. If you need help with your game then many here can help. Getting a coach is also a great thing and practice, practice, practice. Bowling can be frustrating at times, we've all been there and we all understand. I don't think anything can help you control your emotions 100% of the time besides the realization of the alternative of getting the boot or looking like an idiot just isn't worth it and won't make you better for it in the end.

[CrazyHorse]

If you throw a bad ball, focus on what you did wrong and correcting it. Let it go and focus on the next frame. Losing your temper isn't going to help anything, just have fun.

[fordman1]

Every one looses their temper once in a while. That said how many of the people in prison lost their temper just one time? Phonetek tell us how much the equipment you hit cost to replace. Where I bowl they have cameras and they see everything. We had a counter person miss place $40 and my team mate the Manager showed me on his phone a high def video of what happened. It was in the wrong envelope. The picture was so clear he could zoom in and you could read the ser. numbers on the bills. So remember big brother is watching!

[Outerlimits]

Wont pretend to play therapist here, but I have realized the same weakness in my game. I am very competitive. I quit bowling for 20 years, once I started back I was so intent on getting my game back that competition was not in my vocabulary, I just wanted to bowl well. Now that I feel like I am bowling ok the competitive side of me is kicking in. But I realize that I am bowling with a bunch of non competitive bowlers. They are not as serious as me, and its a social hour for them. Sometimes I am strong enough to block out the distractions, never ready to bowl when its their turn, nose stuck in the phone, disappear from the set of lanes to talk to someone else, or gone into the bar to get a drink to bring back because the waitress isn't fast enough.....are just a few. My point...you have to bowl with folks that are as competitive as you are, and skill levels are equally as good. If not you can become frustrated very quickly. I struggle to stay focused, and that irritates me. If I can stay focused, I can bowl ok. When all the other things enter the picture, I have a hard time staying focused and my game suffers.
I get angry when the way I bowl doesn't meet my expectations of how I feel I can Bowl. That's where my problems begin. That's when the methods talked about before can help you.....sort of distract yourself. Reset and take it frame by frame.

[Phonetek]

Every one looses their temper once in a while. That said how many of the people in prison lost their temper just one time? Phonetek tell us how much the equipment you hit cost to replace. Where I bowl they have cameras and they see everything. We had a counter person miss place $40 and my team mate the Manager showed me on his phone a high def video of what happened. It was in the wrong envelope. The picture was so clear he could zoom in and you could read the ser. numbers on the bills. So remember big brother is watching!

You bet those camera's can focus in. A bartender was recently let go because he served a minor. He carded him too but the camera zoomed in to show that the bartender seen that he was under age because they could read his ID with the camera. If a camera could zoom in from 15ft away to clearly read a drivers license in poor lighting, then you can bet the bank they can see how equipment got damaged. It's ashamed, he was a good bartender that all of us liked as well as the customers. They've also busted people who vandalized tables, chairs, pool tables and other stuff.

Every inch of our place is under surveillance and they can go back months. Boss calls the younger employees in the office to write them up or let them go all the time for texting or playing with their phones on the job. You can't fart in that place without it being on camera. They could probably zoom in to see your shorts vibrate from it. Everywhere except the bathrooms and the back of the machines is on camera. It's the world we live in. We have a monitor at the counter to see several cameras but the office has all of them.

[mx1alex]

Crack a cold one!

[got_a_300]

I used to be one of those hot heads years ago and acted like a fool
by hitting the ball return, console, cursing, etc., etc. and calling the
manager at that time some bad names.

Well to say he politely told me I was banned from the center for a
while so I worked with a Pro bowler that was a good friend of mine
at another center about 50 miles away to help me get my emotions
under control.

Well after that I was invited back to the center and have remained
there in good standings since as I've learned to keep it in check and
not get mad and just throw a better shot next time.

[Albundy]

The last time I lost my temper I kicked the ball return cover and it popped off. I quickly tried to put it back on in embarrassment..I didn't mean to break anything or cause a scene. an occasional damnit to yourself is okay..I also cursed at the manager from 20 lanes away because our lanes weren't oiled for our sucky league and who knows me well. He could have reacted but he didn't and I realized he didn't deserve that..I just want to point out someone else's mistake and make my feedback clear

[J Anderson]

I try to not get mad and act like a jerk at the bowling alley. However, there are rare occasions when I take out my frustration on the ball return or console :o. Any tips for how I can control my emotions 100% of the time? I guess I could find alternative ways to react like clapping my hands together or throwing my rosin bag down heh. I know bowling is supposed to be fun but I sometimes just want to hurry up and go home!

How an event makes you feel is not something you can control. How you react to that emotion can be a conscious choice. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling can have a calming effect. Walking away from your lane, provided you can get back in time for your next frame, is also a good alternative to kicking and screaming.

[Phonetek]

Just had a guy practicing this evening and his antics made me think of this post. He got angry with I can only assume his score, had his bowling bag sitting on the bowlers chairs. He tossed his ball from the ball return trying to make a basket into his bag from 8 feet away. Well....he missed and hit the end of the chair shattering it and his ball ended up slamming into the flat metal bar underneath and it took a baseball size chunk out of his ball. Take a wild guess what he had to pay for? Not to mention he trashed a fairly new Motiv ball, one of them with the snake on it. On top of that he's banned from returning. All that over practice??

Out of the 9 games he bowled 163 was his highest score and 112 was the low. I'm not thinking he was exactly a career bowler so I have no idea what set him off. It wasn't another person because there wasn't anyone within 6 lanes of him and those people weren't obnoxious or anything. So I dunno....I wonder if it was worth it? I have no idea what the GM charged him for that chair I didn't ask but it probably wasn't 20 bucks. I'm sure he got smacked with the full price of a new one. Luckily we have a few spares in the back.

[TCJ]

Go with the number one goal to have fun NO MATTER WHAT. In my opinion, if you can't have fun every night for something which you are expending time, energy, and money, and that thing is causing stress instead then it is time to quit and find something more relaxing. If I ever walk out of a bowling center feeling like I wasted my time, I won't go back. I've been bowling for 28 years and I still keep going back!

Two, frustrations happen and different people react in different manner. I usually tell myself I'm an idiot after a stupid shot, but I do it inside my head. Then I evaluate what I did and what I need to do to correct it and make my next shot. If I ever really feel like hitting anything (very, very rare) I will just punch my palm or slap my towel against my ball bag. It expends a little frustration energy without causing any damage or embarrassment.

And finally, laugh at yourself. Nobody is perfect and averages come about by having some bad days. Your teammates are likely willing to laugh with you and will be happy not to have to endure bouts of anger.

[boatman37]

I agree with keeping emotions in check. Hitting, kicking or throwing things is just an immature act. Sure I get frustrated but I try to figure out what I am doing wrong and try to fix it. Even in my younger days I didn't lose my temper to that extent.

[Jaescrub]

At our local lanes we have one of the punching machines in the arcade. If I or my teammates get frustrated we take a few bucks worth of punches out on it. In not time we are laughing and talking friendly trash on each other.

[vdubtx]

Think more centers could use this for the immature bowlers that feel the need to lash out due to their own screw ups:

https://i.imgur.com/f7ecYVZ.jpg

[Jaescrub]

Lol that would distract the crap out of me lol

[GrumpyCatFace]

The YouTube videos of people swinging at it and wiping out on the floor would be priceless, though...

[Phonetek]

Just what bowling centers need, yet another way to get distracted by other bowlers. Those start showing up at bowling centers, I'll happily shelf my equipment for life. A guy spouting off is bad enough to be bowling with. Now the same guy punching something that's gonna boing back and forth in my field of vision in addition to, I'd have to do the same with his face when I got off the approach. LOL I'd rather put the local gym in his GPS so he could go there instead, hell I'd throw in a gift card for a membership just so I could get back to my game in peace.

[rv driver]

What I like about bowling is the Zen effect it has for me. Sure! I’d like to bowl like the guys on TV; I had that chance back in the day, and chose to not take it. But I don’t, and I don’t have any illusions that I will ever. Bowling allows me to focus down on myself, my body, my concentration. It allows me to make calm decisions about adjustments and other strategies. It creates a calm little world in a sea of chaos for me. I never did see Bowling as competition, except with my own level of accomplishment.

[Albundy]

And what about getting really excited about a strike for position round on a mixed league? Sometimes that can mess me up if I don't get the next one and I showed how bad I wanted it.

[JerseyJim]

I give myself a few seconds to beat up on myself for missing a simple spare. After that I just concentrate on my next shot.

As for bowling against guys with quick tempers, my first thought is that I have them beat already. I just have to execute.