onefrombills
11-22-2009, 05:58 PM
This Thursday night (November 19) on CBS at 9pm, one of the most-watched shows on television, CSI (the original version, set in Las Vegas), will air a bowling-themed episode titled “Lover’s Lane” on which yours truly had the pleasure of working as a bowling consultant.
The way this happened was pretty random. The PBA received a call from CSI producers looking for a bowling consultant for an upcoming episode. The PBA turned them on to me, since I live here in sunny Southern California where the show is filmed. I then told the producer (more than half-jokingly) that it would be possible for me to convert a 7-10 split on camera in a reasonable number of takes, and they said, “cool, are you available, like, for pretty much all of next week?” Sure thing. Hey, when CSI says, “Jump!” you say, “How high?”
The mission, since I chose to accept it, was simple: Come down and meet the cast and crew on set in Hollywood (piece of cake), teach a few of the actors how to bowl like pros…in two hours or less (a bit more of a challenge), then spend two days on set as a consultant/coach/stunt double (at upscale Pasadena bowling lounge “300”) during shooting for the bowling-alley scenes (can you say, “performance anxiety for a thousand, Alex?”).
Lucky for me, I had a bit of vicarious experience at this kind of thing working in my favor. You see, my friend Barry Asher (the PBA Hall of Famer and 10-time Tour champion), once worked on the set of The Big Lebowski (in fact, he appears in the film during the final scene, bowling alone in the background).
The one cautionary tale I took from his experience was the time the Coen brothers asked him to leave a stone 8. Of course, he had to leave one using a 13-pound caramel White Dot on lanes that were oiled dead flat gutter-to-gutter with about 40 units. (For those of you not completely familiar with the difficulty of this, it’s a little bit like dropping a champagne glass from the top of the Empire State Building without breaking it). After about 50 attempts, he finally left the elusive tap. Elated, he wheeled around for approval but, to his dismay, noticed a chagrined look on the face of the brothers. “Do you think you can make the pin wiggle a little bit?” Remembering that, I was prepared for anything.
DAY 1
On day one, I showed up at the Universal lot to meet the cast and crew. Of course, my name was not on the list (definitely not the first time this has happened to me) so I had to endure the “another crazy dude trying to get on the lot to stalk ‘fill-in-the-name-of-the-celebrity-here’” stares from the security guards for a bit. Luckily, the lovely 2nd Assistant Director Michelle Parvin quickly showed up in a golf cart and whisked me off to the CSI stage, a massive square building set amongst rows of similar-sized stages housing many of the most-watched TV shows and popular films in the world today.
The first person I met on set was Prop Manager Paul Byers, who explained that he had five bowling balls for me, and that they needed to drill them so I could stand in and throw shots for five different actors. He asked me what size my hand was (the choices were small, medium, large or extra large) so he could have the balls drilled to fit. I politely informed him that I could take the balls and drill them myself, since it’s been about thirty years since I’ve had my drilling specs taken by Wal-Mart. He seemed relieved and was also nice enough to help lug the five balls back to the parking structure with me at the end of the day (even though I did send him back early because I’d forgotten where in the seven-story lot that I’d parked my stupid car...yeah, it was the car’s fault…and didn’t want him to have to endure the embarrassing process of wandering aimlessly from floor to floor…with the very distinct possibility of running into a celebrity…whilst dragging three two-ball bags behind him).
Jumping back to the set, things were pretty surreal. This particular stage is where all of the CSI lab scenes are shot, and it’s really kind of a dark, sterile environment except for the body parts stored in little plastic bags from 10 seasons worth of fantastically creative crime scenes. The fact that everyone speaks in whispers because of the need for silence on set (even between takes) adds to the overall intimidating ambience. As I made my way through the various set-pieces, word of my arrival must have somehow percolated through the building, as everywhere I went I overheard various actors and crew members giddily discussing bowling. In one instance, the gorgeous (and surprisingly tall) Jorja Fox, who plays workaholic Sara Sidle on the show, mentioned how she “hates” bowling because she “sucks at it.” I pretty much feel the same way about acting (and those of you who’ve seen my show “Let’s Go Bowling” would probably agree with me…that I suck at acting, that is), so Jorja, at least we have that in common.
After meeting all of the key people on set, my homework was to get my five new balls drilled (special thanks to Fred Berger at Brunswick Zone Simi Valley for his help with this) and prepare for a two-hour coaching session with four of the actors (one series regular plus three guest stars who would be playing professional bowlers) over at Pinz in Studio City the next day. Of course, the balls were all plastic (with the exception of one reactive resin ball) and each weighed 13-pounds (what is it with Hollywood and 13-pounders, anyways?). I also noticed that all of the balls’ logos were carefully painted over (I guess the manufacturers opted not to pay CSI’s “product registration fee,” which I would assume is a wee bit higher than the PBA’s, given the number of viewers they reach?). I would later find out, however, that 13lb plastic would be an absolute blessing.
DAY 2
On Day 2 over at Pinz, I met up with the actors (and excellent Production Assistant/aspiring writer Ian Maio) for their bowling lesson. The job was to teach guest stars Marcus Giamatti, Devon Gummersall, Blake Shields and series regular Eric Szmanda how to bowl well enough that they could easily pass for pro bowlers.
I brought along a bag of my own equipment (two reactives plus my Columbia Blue Dot spare ball) to demonstrate a few things, but first, I had the guys each throw some warm-up shots to see just what I had to work with. One of the guys (Devon, who you might know from MTV’s cult ‘90’s hit My So Called Life, and who will be playing a cocky, Terrell Owens-of-pro-bowling kind of character) was actually pretty decent. He immediately got the concept of the pro release and threw the ball well enough that, with just a few months practice, could easily be averaging 190-plus on a typical house shot.
Marcus (who I later discovered is the son of former baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti and brother of Academy Award-winning actor Paul Giamatti and who will be playing a crafty Tour veteran on the episode) was a former baseball pitcher and quite a good athlete. He was a little slower than Devon on picking up the release so, instead, we focused on proper rhythm and timing and, in a few minutes, we had him looking like a pro from the foul line back.
Blake, who plays a character on the episode whose luck is so bad it makes Kingpin’s Roy Munson’s raw deal look like a Powerball Lotto winner, was the one who required the most work of the group. After I finished up with Devon and Marcus, I had Blake focus on counting out his steps so he could first get his timing down. Then, we incorporated the ball and armswing into his approach and, before long, he was looking pretty decent too.
The last of the group was 9-year CSI veteran Eric Szmanda, who plays field agent Greg Sanders on the show. I can’t really talk about Greg’s bowling-related arc on this week’s episode without ruining it for you, but I can say that Eric was quite intrigued with the two-handed style. I left the choice up to him whether he wanted to go with the traditional one-handed approach or the Jason Belmonte/Osku Palermaa-style new-school sensation (see clips of those freaks of nature below). But after two-handing a shot out to the twig and watching it scream back to destroy the pocket, Mr. Szmanda was hooked and he started to look as giddy as a schoolboy about this bowling thing.
We wrapped up the session by bowling one game for score and, to handicap things a bit, I offered to throw my Blue Dot. The boys each rolled games in the low-to mid 100’s and, after flagging a 7-pin in the first frame (good thing I had my spare ball with me, eh?) I threw 10 of the next 11 strikes for 258. The actors were indeed very impressed. I didn’t mention to them that they earn more for a single episode than I’ve earned in my entire competitive bowling career, but hey, why ruin the illusion?
My impression of the actors was that they were a great bunch of guys. Completely down-to-earth and totally not like Ben Stiller-inspired Tropic-Thunder actor-types whatsoever. They took their jobs incredibly seriously and genuinely wanted to put on as realistic a performance (especially with respect to their bowling) as possible. I gave them each homework assignments to work on prior to shooting (which was a day-and-a-half away) and we went our separate ways.
The way this happened was pretty random. The PBA received a call from CSI producers looking for a bowling consultant for an upcoming episode. The PBA turned them on to me, since I live here in sunny Southern California where the show is filmed. I then told the producer (more than half-jokingly) that it would be possible for me to convert a 7-10 split on camera in a reasonable number of takes, and they said, “cool, are you available, like, for pretty much all of next week?” Sure thing. Hey, when CSI says, “Jump!” you say, “How high?”
The mission, since I chose to accept it, was simple: Come down and meet the cast and crew on set in Hollywood (piece of cake), teach a few of the actors how to bowl like pros…in two hours or less (a bit more of a challenge), then spend two days on set as a consultant/coach/stunt double (at upscale Pasadena bowling lounge “300”) during shooting for the bowling-alley scenes (can you say, “performance anxiety for a thousand, Alex?”).
Lucky for me, I had a bit of vicarious experience at this kind of thing working in my favor. You see, my friend Barry Asher (the PBA Hall of Famer and 10-time Tour champion), once worked on the set of The Big Lebowski (in fact, he appears in the film during the final scene, bowling alone in the background).
The one cautionary tale I took from his experience was the time the Coen brothers asked him to leave a stone 8. Of course, he had to leave one using a 13-pound caramel White Dot on lanes that were oiled dead flat gutter-to-gutter with about 40 units. (For those of you not completely familiar with the difficulty of this, it’s a little bit like dropping a champagne glass from the top of the Empire State Building without breaking it). After about 50 attempts, he finally left the elusive tap. Elated, he wheeled around for approval but, to his dismay, noticed a chagrined look on the face of the brothers. “Do you think you can make the pin wiggle a little bit?” Remembering that, I was prepared for anything.
DAY 1
On day one, I showed up at the Universal lot to meet the cast and crew. Of course, my name was not on the list (definitely not the first time this has happened to me) so I had to endure the “another crazy dude trying to get on the lot to stalk ‘fill-in-the-name-of-the-celebrity-here’” stares from the security guards for a bit. Luckily, the lovely 2nd Assistant Director Michelle Parvin quickly showed up in a golf cart and whisked me off to the CSI stage, a massive square building set amongst rows of similar-sized stages housing many of the most-watched TV shows and popular films in the world today.
The first person I met on set was Prop Manager Paul Byers, who explained that he had five bowling balls for me, and that they needed to drill them so I could stand in and throw shots for five different actors. He asked me what size my hand was (the choices were small, medium, large or extra large) so he could have the balls drilled to fit. I politely informed him that I could take the balls and drill them myself, since it’s been about thirty years since I’ve had my drilling specs taken by Wal-Mart. He seemed relieved and was also nice enough to help lug the five balls back to the parking structure with me at the end of the day (even though I did send him back early because I’d forgotten where in the seven-story lot that I’d parked my stupid car...yeah, it was the car’s fault…and didn’t want him to have to endure the embarrassing process of wandering aimlessly from floor to floor…with the very distinct possibility of running into a celebrity…whilst dragging three two-ball bags behind him).
Jumping back to the set, things were pretty surreal. This particular stage is where all of the CSI lab scenes are shot, and it’s really kind of a dark, sterile environment except for the body parts stored in little plastic bags from 10 seasons worth of fantastically creative crime scenes. The fact that everyone speaks in whispers because of the need for silence on set (even between takes) adds to the overall intimidating ambience. As I made my way through the various set-pieces, word of my arrival must have somehow percolated through the building, as everywhere I went I overheard various actors and crew members giddily discussing bowling. In one instance, the gorgeous (and surprisingly tall) Jorja Fox, who plays workaholic Sara Sidle on the show, mentioned how she “hates” bowling because she “sucks at it.” I pretty much feel the same way about acting (and those of you who’ve seen my show “Let’s Go Bowling” would probably agree with me…that I suck at acting, that is), so Jorja, at least we have that in common.
After meeting all of the key people on set, my homework was to get my five new balls drilled (special thanks to Fred Berger at Brunswick Zone Simi Valley for his help with this) and prepare for a two-hour coaching session with four of the actors (one series regular plus three guest stars who would be playing professional bowlers) over at Pinz in Studio City the next day. Of course, the balls were all plastic (with the exception of one reactive resin ball) and each weighed 13-pounds (what is it with Hollywood and 13-pounders, anyways?). I also noticed that all of the balls’ logos were carefully painted over (I guess the manufacturers opted not to pay CSI’s “product registration fee,” which I would assume is a wee bit higher than the PBA’s, given the number of viewers they reach?). I would later find out, however, that 13lb plastic would be an absolute blessing.
DAY 2
On Day 2 over at Pinz, I met up with the actors (and excellent Production Assistant/aspiring writer Ian Maio) for their bowling lesson. The job was to teach guest stars Marcus Giamatti, Devon Gummersall, Blake Shields and series regular Eric Szmanda how to bowl well enough that they could easily pass for pro bowlers.
I brought along a bag of my own equipment (two reactives plus my Columbia Blue Dot spare ball) to demonstrate a few things, but first, I had the guys each throw some warm-up shots to see just what I had to work with. One of the guys (Devon, who you might know from MTV’s cult ‘90’s hit My So Called Life, and who will be playing a cocky, Terrell Owens-of-pro-bowling kind of character) was actually pretty decent. He immediately got the concept of the pro release and threw the ball well enough that, with just a few months practice, could easily be averaging 190-plus on a typical house shot.
Marcus (who I later discovered is the son of former baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti and brother of Academy Award-winning actor Paul Giamatti and who will be playing a crafty Tour veteran on the episode) was a former baseball pitcher and quite a good athlete. He was a little slower than Devon on picking up the release so, instead, we focused on proper rhythm and timing and, in a few minutes, we had him looking like a pro from the foul line back.
Blake, who plays a character on the episode whose luck is so bad it makes Kingpin’s Roy Munson’s raw deal look like a Powerball Lotto winner, was the one who required the most work of the group. After I finished up with Devon and Marcus, I had Blake focus on counting out his steps so he could first get his timing down. Then, we incorporated the ball and armswing into his approach and, before long, he was looking pretty decent too.
The last of the group was 9-year CSI veteran Eric Szmanda, who plays field agent Greg Sanders on the show. I can’t really talk about Greg’s bowling-related arc on this week’s episode without ruining it for you, but I can say that Eric was quite intrigued with the two-handed style. I left the choice up to him whether he wanted to go with the traditional one-handed approach or the Jason Belmonte/Osku Palermaa-style new-school sensation (see clips of those freaks of nature below). But after two-handing a shot out to the twig and watching it scream back to destroy the pocket, Mr. Szmanda was hooked and he started to look as giddy as a schoolboy about this bowling thing.
We wrapped up the session by bowling one game for score and, to handicap things a bit, I offered to throw my Blue Dot. The boys each rolled games in the low-to mid 100’s and, after flagging a 7-pin in the first frame (good thing I had my spare ball with me, eh?) I threw 10 of the next 11 strikes for 258. The actors were indeed very impressed. I didn’t mention to them that they earn more for a single episode than I’ve earned in my entire competitive bowling career, but hey, why ruin the illusion?
My impression of the actors was that they were a great bunch of guys. Completely down-to-earth and totally not like Ben Stiller-inspired Tropic-Thunder actor-types whatsoever. They took their jobs incredibly seriously and genuinely wanted to put on as realistic a performance (especially with respect to their bowling) as possible. I gave them each homework assignments to work on prior to shooting (which was a day-and-a-half away) and we went our separate ways.