Don't Insult My Intelligence

[owlish]

To the point: I don't get it when people solicit advice on the count that there was none asked for. Just a small rant by myself here. I told a colleague of mine that I purchased a ball that he owned, which he cannot use at the center we bowl at because it's too aggressive. #1 how is it drilled, #2 what is your style, #3 it's a typical house pattern at the center which, in my opinion, is fair game for any ball no matter how aggressive. Not even a "cool, hope you like it" or "enjoy your new ball". Just 50 worthless cents of 'let me teach you' commentary instead of a thumbs up. Honestly. If I'm gonna listen to everyone that tells me how I should bowl and/or what ball to use then my own comfort level is thrown out the door and never even gets to my style.

That been said I have a question. How do I let someone know that I'm not even remotely interested in their advice when their ego is on the line? I feel like a schmuck if I ignore their teachings which in turn offend them.

Granted I'm just out of my beginner stage and have a lot to apply but please, puhleeze don't think I'm not aware of what I need to apply and/or learn.

No one has ever on this board has treated me like this. In fact the contrary. Thanks for the affirmation and pats on the back for my accomplishments. This place is definitely a positive boon to my athleticism.

owl. (period)

[J Anderson]

To the point: I don't get it when people solicit advice on the count that there was none asked for. Just a small rant by myself here. I told a colleague of mine that I purchased a ball that he owned, which he cannot use at the center we bowl at because it's too aggressive. #1 how is it drilled, #2 what is your style, #3 it's a typical house pattern at the center which, in my opinion, is fair game for any ball no matter how aggressive. Not even a "cool, hope you like it" or "enjoy your new ball". Just 50 worthless cents of 'let me teach you' commentary instead of a thumbs up. Honestly. If I'm gonna listen to everyone that tells me how I should bowl and/or what ball to use then my own comfort level is thrown out the door and never even gets to my style.

That been said I have a question. How do I let someone know that I'm not even remotely interested in their advice when their ego is on the line? I feel like a schmuck if I ignore their teachings which in turn offend them.

Granted I'm just out of my beginner stage and have a lot to apply but please, puhleeze don't think I'm not aware of what I need to apply and/or learn.

No one has ever on this board has treated me like this. In fact the contrary. Thanks for the affirmation and pats on the back for my accomplishments. This place is definitely a positive boon to my athleticism.

owl. (period)

I usually just smile and nod, maybe throw in a few "uh-huh"s, and then say thanks. It took a number of years of this for my friend Jeff to convince me to use the targeting arrows. He has given up on getting me to use more than three steps in my approach.;)
If your colleague notices that you are ignoring his advice and confronts you about it, You should politely explain that you are still working on the fundamentals of the game and need to concentrate on those.

[kev3inp]

Good advice, J. I might say that I'm using that knowledge in practice until I can get it right, but I don't have the confidence to use it in competition yet.

[mrbill]

All good advice, and to add I can say when you become better then the ""coach"" you will be able to grab the pebble from, Ohh wait thats another story.........

[JAnderson]

Maybe start by letting him know that while you think it's great that he's trying to help you in his own way and impressed that he's taken an interest in you, that you'd just need to figure things out on your own for awhile.

Beyond that, you're not responsible for the well-being of someone Else's ego unless the other person is your child. Giving - maybe "forcing" is the right word? - advice that a person wasn't seeking is a good way to get your nose cut off. Sounds like "coach" needs to learn that lesson yet.

[JAnderson]

(double-posted, please excuse)

[WAC4504]

Hey Kurt, you might surprise them and explain that at this time your main concern is to work on just one aspect of your game such as release or approach, and this is something that you have to master on your own. You may also explain everyone else is giving you free advice and you just want to figure it out for yourself. Good luck