Neverending Story

[ursus]

I will add a beginning line to a story and then everyone post another line to the story and see where it goes.


It was a cold winter day...

[The Mayor]

I happened to leave my bowling balls in the trunk overnight.

[The German Shepherd]

Little did I know that....

[ursus]

getting frost on my balls would have the effect of...

[eugene02]

letting the ball slide all the way down to gutter without it biting back on..

[Florida Bowler]

the lane.

[ursus]

So I heated them up

[eugene02]

and the coverstock split into half

[ursus]

so off to the pro shop I headed

[Florida Bowler]

to replace this cold, cracked ball.

[GeorgiaStroker]

The pro took one look and said...

[Etrain]

'' crazy glue fixes all''

[MinnesotaBowler]

so I squirted crazy glue on the ball and...

[eugene02]

started bowling over all!

[billf]

1,2,3 gutters I threw

[eugene02]

4, 5, 6 and counting..

[billf]

the crazy glue melted my core!

[eugene02]

Damn! I had to get a new ball

[billf]

so of course I got a DB8 so I could bowl great

[GeorgiaStroker]

The pro looked at me funny when I asked for a DB8 and said perhaps you mean DV8.

[got_a_300]

and I said oh yes that sounds great yes I want a DV8

[billf]

The pro looked at me funny when I asked for a DB8 and said perhaps you mean DV8.
Oh my goodness, my stomach hurts I was laughing so hard. Guess I need to actually read what I type once in awhile

[eugene02]

and i said YEA, which model would you recommend me?

[billf]

Yes, I said, DV8 so tonight I can bowl and bowl damn good

[got_a_300]

because the lanes are calling me to come bowl a 300 game

[eugene02]

so i said.. which model would fits me best?

[billf]

Reckless, stamped with Guts or Gutters would fit you best they said

[ursus]

He asked me what weight ball did I like, and I replied...

[eugene02]

15 would be the best! But...

[martinezsam2495]

but some lady in the cornered gave wise advice, and told you to get a critical theory cause that ball is....

[eugene02]

meant for heavier oil patterns.. But the Pro Shop guy said

[got_a_300]

son like my pappy always said go with what your gut tells you

[GeorgiaStroker]

So I threw up..And then....

[eugene02]

my gut told me to keep my intestine back into my body

[martin]

and so i swallowed my intestines..

[eugene02]

and I went to pack my bowling bag to get ready to go.

[martin]

but before that,

[eugene02]

i went to take a ****!

[ursus]

I picked up my new ball and headed for the lanes.

[eugene02]

to my surprise, i bowled a 300 game!

[ursus]

I couldn't hide my joy of such a great accomplishment, so I shouted out....

[eugene02]

Oh my god! I love dv8!!!

[Florida Bowler]

So I lined up to start the second game.

[The Mayor]

I start my approach, and I hear a *POP*!

[eugene02]

I turned my head and saw

[Florida Bowler]

Michael standing there with a bottle of champagne.

[eugene02]

celebrating his winnings of trillions of dollars from Jason

[TheSheibs]

After drinking several bottles of champagne.........

[GeorgiaStroker]

I threw up..and then...

[billf]

used ball cleaner to rinse out my mouth

[got_a_300]

and I ended up at the bar and had

[eugene02]

a couple of shots of brandy to keep me awake!

[ursus]

Then I ran out of money so instead of Brandy, I started doing shots of ball cleaner. Thats when my night really got interesting

[billf]

turns out ball cleaner is flammable too

[TheSheibs]

While lighting a cigarette

[ursus]

So the lady sitting next to me at the bar says "Wow, you look really hot"

[billf]

so with my fire breath I..

[The Mayor]

say, "They don't call me Fireballs for no reason"..

[martinezsam2495]

and then she started to go to cardiac arrest, while clutching her....

[TheSheibs]

Beer,which I took out of her hand.......

[billf]

guzzled and called 911

[TheSheibs]

While waiting for the emergency crews to arrive I bowled a 24 with a house ball.........

[GeorgiaStroker]

Including the Machuga flop in the tenth frame which injured my....

[eugene02]

FireBALLS which makes me

[ursus]

Second guess my nickname, maybe a better name should be...

[billf]

SS for sore and swollen

[eugene02]

the emergency crew arrives and

[martinezsam2495]

said she's alright, just sleep deprived.

[eugene02]

So I headed home

[martin]

but when i got to the carpark,

[martinezsam2495]

I let out a long squeaky fart

[eugene02]

which echo through out the whole carpark.

[martin]

everybody was looking towards me..

[martinezsam2495]

and I walked away awkwardly....

[eugene02]

towards my car and opened the door

[martinezsam2495]

put the keys into the ignition...

[eugene02]

and drove off while everyone was still staring at me because i was driving a Ferrari

[martinezsam2495]

The next day I was feeling great...

[eugene02]

because i sold off my Ferrari to get a lamborghini aventador instead

[got_a_300]

but after I got the Lamborghini home the motor blew up

[eugene02]

so i had to replace it with a Ducati 6098 R

[The German Shepherd]

But immediately regretted it because it could not hold my 8-Ball Roller.

J.

[Etrain]

so i got a porche panamera turbo that barely had enough room for my balls in the backseat and my kids in the trunk

[martinezsam2495]

and started to cruise around the streets looking for a...

[billf]

bottle of tequila, the cheaper the better

[eugene02]

and i headed back to the alley which was 30 miles away..

[martinezsam2495]

to have a night full of strikes, hooray!

[eugene02]

but when I reached, it was full. I was told to

[got_a_300]

set down, stop my crying and wait my turn

[Etrain]

i punched the counter guy in his nose and threw him down the alley with my retard strength

[martinezsam2495]

to my surprise he got a 7-10 split

[eugene02]

he came out through the ball return and

[GeorgiaStroker]

I noticed that my track was running over the hole. So...

[martinezsam2495]

I polished him and gave it another go

[martin]

and somehow converted the 7-10

[eugene02]

I got bored of throwing him so i switched to

[got_a_300]

the DV8 and bowled another big

[ursus]

a two handed delivery style

[Etrain]

i soon realized my porche panamera alarm had gone off so i ran out side and saw............

[got_a_300]

eugene and billf hitting it with their DV8 balls and saying....

[Etrain]

'' dont ever park in a handicap spot without a sticker!''

[GeorgiaStroker]

So I showed them the sticker that says TONIGHT WE DRIVE.....DAMN GOOD PARKING!

[billf]

and the of us went inside

[billf]

And the 3 of us went inside (sorry it wouldn't edit and my num lock was off)

[Florida Bowler]

to get some more bowling in.

[Etrain]

until we were distracted by the bikini bowling marathon on the tv

[billf]

soon Bill's HRR was covered in drool

[martinezsam2495]

and he bowled a low score of 82...

[billf]

but it's ok because he got to watch bikinis all day

[TheSheibs]

Thats when we saw that the bikini bowling marathon would be filming right here in a couple weeks.

[ursus]

So I drew up a plan to get in on that action

[got_a_300]

and went and bought a mini camera

[GeorgiaStroker]

a six pack, a bikini, and....

[martinezsam2495]

condoms for more action,

[martin]

eagerly counting down the days..

[martinezsam2495]

waiting for that moment where I could...

[eugene02]

find the first lady

[martinezsam2495]

and call her my baby

[martin]

in the mean time,

[Etrain]

i got a bottle of lotion and lubed my.....

[got_a_300]

body down so I would be....

[Etrain]

loking like Etrain with his shirt off

[hondo]

However, my life was soon to take a drastic turn. I was soon to find out that the local pro shop guy was also...

[TheSheibs]

doing the exact same thing with similar expectations

[martin]

and lots of woman like him

[billf]

were soon lofting it sky high

[GeorgiaStroker]

causing Michael to scream and pull out his hair... so he..

[billf]

started shooting balls out of the air

[Florida Bowler]

like clay targets. The odd thing was that he was shouting, "...

[GeorgiaStroker]

Push instead of pull, which caused me to..

[billf]

Shoot my drink out my nose with laughter

[TheSheibs]

My ball was now covered in a layer of my drink

[billf]

now it was truly a reign of fire

[martin]

to add to it, i decided to set the ball on fire

[eugene02]

and i threw the ball across the lane which set the lanes ablaze with the oil on it

[TheSheibs]

When then ball hit the pins, one went flying towards a....

[martin]

mechanic who was setting some faulty pins on the next lane

[billf]

he looked at me a snarled

[TheSheibs]

As he grabed a fire extinguisher to put out my ball and all the other pins that caught fire.

[martin]

but as he was busy with the pins, the ball return caught fire also as my ball passed through it

[Florida Bowler]

Which is how the "Great Fire of '12" started.

[The German Shepherd]

Now the bowling alley pro shop is having a fire sale, so I decided to finally get a...

J.

[Florida Bowler]

complete arsenal. I started with the

[TheSheibs]

Brunswick Nexus and C-system, which was on sale for $50 each.

[The German Shepherd]

and a couple of DV8 HRRs that they were giving away with every purchase of a microfibre towel.

[Florida Bowler]

Looking at the arsenal that I was building, I noticed a couple of holes.

[martin]

i told the proshop guy that the balls had holes

[Florida Bowler]

and he proceeded to bounce a Vivid off my head.

[billf]

which gave me the thought to get the new IQ instead

[ursus]

With balls in hand I headed to the lanes

[TheSheibs]

Thankfully the fire was no extinguished and everything seemed to be fine since it was only the oil that burned and not the actual lanes.

[got_a_300]

but after the ball came back I noticed that it was.....

[martin]

black all over the oil track

[martinezsam2495]

so I picked up a ball from the lane next to me, and to my surprise it was a ....

[got_a_300]

half melted plastic ball

[Etrain]

made in japan

[TheSheibs]

But the thing that surprised me the most about this plastic ball from Japan was....

[GeorgiaStroker]

There was a hand still in it, so I...

[billf]

Threw the charred remains of that hand away and put the ball...

[ursus]

In the ball polisher to get it back in playing shape

[billf]

Then I had to remove the bowlers tape from the thumb hole

[got_a_300]

and had to change the finger grips so I could.....

[martinezsam2495]

hook the ball, so it won't go straight.

[GeorgiaStroker]

But after 6 frames I finally noticed the ball was square so I....

[martin]

threw the ball in the garbage..

[The German Shepherd]

Now, what was I supposed to do? I thought about getting that square ball abck, but....

J.

[billf]

I had way to make it round again...

[Florida Bowler]

That involved a paper clip, coat hanger, and some c-4.

[GeorgiaStroker]

and an autographed 8X10 glossy of Richard Dean Anderson. So I...

[billf]

attached the c-4 with the paper clip, formed the coat hanger into a circle for a mold and used the MacGyver picture as a fuse........

[martinezsam2495]

as soon as I lit it, I threw it down the lane, but it returned without detonating, and blew up my brains. :(

[billf]

hmmmmm, so much for the never ending story. Blown up brains is a real killer

[ursus]

At that very moment I awoke from this dream in a cold sweat. My dreams were getting very weird, I thought to myself


(we're still going Bill)

[GeorgiaStroker]

I got out of bed and checked my balls...

[billf]

They were still attached

[martinezsam2495]

When I lit them on fire with a match.
haha
I'm sorry guys it rhymes,

[GeorgiaStroker]

I gave a sigh of relief and...

[ursus]

got up, got dressed and headed out the door

[martinezsam2495]

time to test out my new bowling ball at my local lane

[got_a_300]

but when I got there the lanes were.......

[billf]

sanded bare

[TheSheibs]

And still needed to be varnished and oiled.

[Florida Bowler]

So I left. In the parking lot I saw

[GeorgiaStroker]

Pete Weber's stunt double who was..

[Florida Bowler]

Norm Duke.

[billf]

Role playing his next fan confrontation with a rep from Storm who kept yelling...

[GeorgiaStroker]

I DON'T CARE IF THE HHR IS A BETTER BALL YHOU HAVE A CONTRACT!!! JUST THROW THE VIVID AND ACT LIKE YOU LIKE IT!!! So Norm....

[GeorgiaStroker]

said it's HRR you idiot, and the smell of the vivid is making me nauseated. Then he...
(Dang edit function)

[The German Shepherd]

screamed, "heck with this! I am going to a John Fogarty concert!!!

[martinezsam2495]

When I saw Fred Flintstone down the lane, he threw the ball got a strike, and yelled yabba dabba doo

[got_a_300]

and Wilma and Betty stood up and clapped for him and yelled out........

[billf]

Good job Fred but we want Barney to win instead!

[martin]

Barney came along and prepared for his shot..

[TheSheibs]

Everyone was surprised to see him pick up an egg the size of a ball.

[The Mayor]

He released the ball onto the lane and... CRACK!

[billf]

Betty, Wilma and Fred were covered with raw egg

[martinezsam2495]

But Barney took out his spare ball, which was an egg twice the size of the original one, shot it straight down the lane, and demolished the pins, leaving the audience in an awe.

[The German Shepherd]

Then Brtty jumped up and yelled, "Anyone for breakfast? The eggs are on me!"

[billf]

Fred was laughing, his belly bouncing as he ate the egg of Betty

[martin]

and said, that's a damn good bowling egg

[martinezsam2495]

When suddenly a pterodactyl crashed into the lanes and starting eating innocent bystanders.

[The German Shepherd]

It was a good thing that Dino was there and chased away the pterodactyl. Still hungry, Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty headed out for a bite to eat.

[got_a_300]

but when they got to the burger joint the pterodactyl had.......

[GeorgiaStroker]

...eaten every Bronto-Burger in the place. Suddenly I woke up and realized Patrick Duffy was in my shower, so I...

[martin]

rubbed my eyes thinking i'm still dreaming..

[martinezsam2495]

woke up again, to find out it was just a dream..
Inception...

[got_a_300]

had sneeked in and fixed my dreams so I.......

[martin]

*why has the story stopped?* (just a comment.. i'm currently blanked out on what to continue with)

[got_a_300]

*why has the story stopped?* (just a comment.. i'm currently blanked out on what to continue with)
not sure why it stopped so I will continue from my last post


got up and fixed myself a hot cup of...............

[i2icustom]

I knew I should have listened to my friends who told me that there was a recall on Tassimo but the drive to Brunswick was too long to go without caffeine....