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A properly fitted ball is going to feel a couple of pounds lighter than it actually is.
Because of today's ball technology, you no longer have to throw the heaviest ball, the most common weight is 15 pounds, even for big guys.
As far as recommending a ball, stop reading reviews, go to your pro shop, get a reactive resin ball with a pearl coverstock for medium/dry lane conditions, and start practicing.
Oh, and by the way, if you want to get better at bowling, stop trying to throw the ball as hard as you can.
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