Vandelay Industries, makers of a popular line of posts, soap, and embarrassing personal hygiene products. have announced large-scale layoffs in their bowling ball buying, pants-wearing, and shower-taking divisions. A spokesman indicated that while the company's cynicism, strange odor, and ball maintenance arms were performing above expectations, they anticipated some cutbacks in the bowling department in order to bolster the eating regularly department's performance.
The legal department, owned and operated by Vandelay Industries, Dewey, Cheathem, and Howe, wiill remain largely unchanged for the time, but changes are anticipated and talks of a possible sale of the company have emerged.
Not helping the situation since 1983.
Bowling Average: 180
Bowling Handicap: Beer
Bowling Style: Completely Wheels Off
Righty / Lefty: Righty
Bowling Balls: Lane #1 Droid (Strike Ball), Storm Crossroad (Strike Ball. I hate the smell...), Hammer No Mercy (Retired Strike Ball. We had a good run. RIP, old friend!), Ebonite Magnum (Spare Ball), Ebonite Maxim (Spare Ball)
Best Game: 267
Best Series: 695 (just 5 more pins... I don't wanna talk about it!)
Not helping the situation since 1983.
Bowling Average: 180
Bowling Handicap: Beer
Bowling Style: Completely Wheels Off
Righty / Lefty: Righty
Bowling Balls: Lane #1 Droid (Strike Ball), Storm Crossroad (Strike Ball. I hate the smell...), Hammer No Mercy (Retired Strike Ball. We had a good run. RIP, old friend!), Ebonite Magnum (Spare Ball), Ebonite Maxim (Spare Ball)
Best Game: 267
Best Series: 695 (just 5 more pins... I don't wanna talk about it!)
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