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Thread: Interesting conversation with the wife yesterday.

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    Ringer GeoLes's Avatar
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    Default Interesting conversation with the wife yesterday.

    She was bowling recently without me and the person in the adjacent lane tried to help her with her release and finish position by offering unsolicited advice. She noted that he was giving her the same info our coach has been saying about balanced finish and no early wrist turn during the release. (my wife would release the wrist early by kind-of turning the wrist around her body, producing the "gyro" effect. No new news here, but here is the interesting thing.

    He demonstrated the same isolation drill that I have been suggesting for a long time. She expressed her reluctance to do the drills because they are too hard as she feel as if she will fall over so she does not like trying it. Interesting.

    It is so interesting that so many think that you bowl better by simply bowling more. In fact, it can have the opposite effect of solidifying bad habits. Change is always more difficult than status qou. It requires investment in some level of discomfort. I guess she is not ready yet. When that day comes, I will be there with the big "I told you so". -

    Kidding, I will keep my big, fat mouth shut. There's a reason I have remained married for 24 years
    Last edited by GeoLes; 07-05-2013 at 11:32 AM.
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    What drill is that ?
    How about just the single step drill to work on keeping hand behind the ball ?
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    Bowling God billf's Avatar
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    I was curious as soon as I read interesting conversation with my wife. I've been married twice totalling 21 years and don't think I've ever been able to say that. Then I read the post. The conversation is one I would have classified as frustratingly funny. Those I've had many, many times. I also agree though, the I told you so part is to be saved for telling the story to friends lol
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    Pin Crusher Tampabaybob's Avatar
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    I'm with you George. Knowing when to keep the trap shut, makes marriages last a whole lot longer. (I'm on number two as well, 10 with this one '32' years with #1 !)
    Feels like I've been married my whole life ! Come to think of it just about has been !

    You mentioned your wires coach. What is he doing to help her get out of that habit? As mentioned there are drill to work on thaw ill help somewhat, but the "delivery person" has to be ready, willing and able to work on making that change. As I tell many students, I can tell you everything thing you need to know, but I can't throw the ball for you. When she's ready....she'll change. Good luck, keep biting your tongue.
    Bob

    "There truly is such a thing as a bad night and when these doomed evenings arrive you can't avoid them. But there's a bright side to this, it's that bad nights won't kill you, and sometimes will make you a little smarter."

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    Pin Crusher classygranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tampabaybob View Post
    I'm with you George. Knowing when to keep the trap shut, makes marriages last a whole lot longer. (I'm on number two as well, 10 with this one '32' years with #1 !)
    Feels like I've been married my whole life ! Come to think of it just about has been !

    You mentioned your wires coach. What is he doing to help her get out of that habit? As mentioned there are drill to work on thaw ill help somewhat, but the "delivery person" has to be ready, willing and able to work on making that change. As I tell many students, I can tell you everything thing you need to know, but I can't throw the ball for you. When she's ready....she'll change. Good luck, keep biting your tongue.
    I hope that goes for the other sex and when he's ready..he'll change. I usually do well at biting my tongue, but it got loose last Tuesday. I had had enough of his negative attitude, whiny complaining of losing, etc and I really let it go once we got in the car. Then I see this post...a day late, perhaps. But, we usually do well with communication. I think I really got my point across, did it in private, and all I asked in return was for him to keep his negativity at bay, unless it was "mathematically" impossible for us to win a game - then he could complain about losing. Of course, I always bring up the "you could get some instruction and bowl better so we wouldn't lose as often", but maybe that didn't go over as well as "your negative attitude pushes my buttons and my bowling is about my only passion, so lay-off, as I am not happy you caused me to bowl a 101" - and, even if I had bowled my average, we would have still lost by about 100 pins.

    We will see how well the listening was come Tuesday...LOL.
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    My wife gets so frustrated every week yet she never practices, has never worked with a coach, and really puts very little effort in.

    I stopped making suggestions and now I just say "if you actually want to change then we can book an hour with #### whenever you like...."

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    Pin Crusher Tampabaybob's Avatar
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    Granny, I'll be signing on Wednesday am for the results of Tuesday nite !! LOL And by the way it does apply to both sexes. I've known many women bowlers whose husbands either were not a good bowler as them or the husbands didn't bowl at all. Can be a tough situation, but to start blaming someone for the loss of a game? Not acceptable...I'm with you.
    Bob

    "There truly is such a thing as a bad night and when these doomed evenings arrive you can't avoid them. But there's a bright side to this, it's that bad nights won't kill you, and sometimes will make you a little smarter."

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    Ringer Hampe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeoLes View Post
    She was bowling recently without me and the person in the adjacent lane tried to help her with her release and finish position by offering unsolicited advice. She noted that he was giving her the same info our coach has been saying about balanced finish and no early wrist turn during the release. (my wife would release the wrist early by kind-of turning the wrist around her body, producing the "gyro" effect. No new news here, but here is the interesting thing.

    He demonstrated the same isolation drill that I have been suggesting for a long time. She expressed her reluctance to do the drills because they are too hard as she feel as if she will fall over so she does not like trying it. Interesting.

    It is so interesting that so many think that you bowl better by simply bowling more. In fact, it can have the opposite effect of solidifying bad habits. Change is always more difficult than status qou. It requires investment in some level of discomfort. I guess she is not ready yet. When that day comes, I will be there with the big "I told you so". -

    Kidding, I will keep my big, fat mouth shut. There's a reason I have remained married for 24 years
    I know exactly what your feeling. I'm in a very similar situation with my wife, although she's only just starting this summer. We had 3 people quit our team and needed some new members so I convinced my wife to give it a try, since she already has her own shoes and ball (ball was donated by a friend). We've only been a few times so far, and I'm trying to get her to build her approach from the foul line backwards, but after about 15 minutes of drills she just wants to play a game and try it out. Hopefully I can get her to listen to me....or at least find someone else she'll listen to .

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    Pin Crusher Tampabaybob's Avatar
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    Paul, I know exactly what you mean. My wife bowled a mixed league with My daughter and I a couple of years ago. She had never bowled in a league and trying to help her was a headache. Even though she's very familiar with my background and how long I've done this sport, she would not and still will not listen to me. She swears she'll never bowl in a league again, and since that time has only bowled a few times with us in practice. You're best bet is to hook her up with a very good coach. Trying to teach wives is just like trying to teach your own kids how to bowl....they won't listen to you. Another person...no problem, even though they're going to tell them the same thing. Save yourself a lot of aggravation and you and she will be much happier. Good luck.
    Bob

    "There truly is such a thing as a bad night and when these doomed evenings arrive you can't avoid them. But there's a bright side to this, it's that bad nights won't kill you, and sometimes will make you a little smarter."

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    Ringer GeoLes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JPbowl View Post
    What drill is that ?
    How about just the single step drill to work on keeping hand behind the ball ?
    That's the drill.
    I live by three simples rules:

    1. Don't ever ask about my business
    2. Never discuss business at the table
    3. Don't ever side with anyone against the family

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