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Thread: Aslan's Scores (of the non-lady kind)

  1. #1301
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aslan View Post
    MWhite = The University of Michigan. They don't "lose", they just run out of time.

    On the plus side...I wish you were on the National Tour. I'd love to hear Kimberly Pressler interview you after a loss.

    She's used to hearing things like, "Yeah, I ran into some trouble out there...just couldn't get my shot figured out...didn't execute well...but it was a positive experience and better luck next time." And with you she'd get;

    MW: "Well, I make WAY better shots than the other guy...but he got to bowl during a time when the fans were oscillating slightly more....thus breaking down the lanes more...and you probably didn't notice it, but there was a slight earthquake tremor in Pakistan....the ripple moved across the planet...and hit Reno...just as I was about to throw the ball. Also, 925rpm rev rate...I have much less room for error than most bowlers...so much is a micro fracture in the lane integrity...can really screw with my shot drastically...and I've complained before....that this center does not use a 7.92 lb/gallon density oil...they use a 6.98 lb/gallon oil....which everyone knows...allows some players an advantage..."

    KP: "Okay then...thanks..."
    MWhite: "...and of course, this was a reverse block pattern..."
    KP: "Okay...and we're out of time...but thank you and good luck...or whatever..."

    Of course I watch that video. It's one of my favorite Youtube videos...because it shows that Aslan is a dominant bowler compared to MWhite and ZDawg...as does the 2nd annual AVZBHMSCI...where I was also dominant. So yes...I highly recommend people watch them (click on the bowl.com ID in my signature). We're gonna have to set up the 3rd Annual Billy Hardwick Memorial Aslan vs. ZDawg Southern California Invitational....it's past due. But I think ZDawg is injured or something. Probably just some elaborate sandbagging attempt...


    I would like to see the USBC specify that sanctioned league play be on fresh conditions.

    As I told the pro shop guy at Concourse...I don't care what pattern you put down. If you wanna save money on oil...put a 15ft pattern out there. I don't care. I'll eventually figure it out as will the rest of the league. But you can't oil at 9AM and then each night you have no idea what you're getting. It's not a level playing field...and it punishes RHers FAR more than LHers. It's bad for the leagues and it's bad for the sport. If they want to put out the PBA Shark pattern or Scorpion pattern...more power to em! If they want to put out a USBC White pattern...more power to em!! But just make sure you oil every lane...30 minutes prior to league...everyone has a level playing field. I don't think that's too much to ask. How much is lane oil? $1000/gallon? Maybe I'm in the wrong business? Isn't oil supposed to PROTECT the lanes? Why would a bowling center want to save $5 on oil and risk screwing up their $10,000 lanes? Bad business...plain and simple.

    Whats next? They don't want to buy more pins so you shoot at however many the pinsetter puts down? They don't want to pay their water bill so bowlers have to wear diapers? Electric bill too expensive...so everyone bowls in the dark and wears miner's helmets? For crying out loud! It's bad enough I can't practice on league conditions...now I can't even bowl league on "league conditions"? I guess I can only truly practice over holiday weekends...to get the true 'feel' for what league play is like.

    Friggin bowling. I'd seriously consider quitting...but I hate golf and am too old and broken down to do anything that involves actual cardio.

    Ok two ways to skin that cat.

    You want practice to be more like league, simple, make league more like practice... so you can shoot 450 and whine about it.

    Back in the 80's, the oiling machine didn't remove previous oil.

    That was done twice a week (graveyard shift) using a big floor buffing machine, and walking up and down the lanes with it.

    The reason you are having such difficulties with oil at 9am, and bowl at 6 is because resin balls change the oil pattern so much.

    Solution, Lets get rid of resin balls.


    Lane oil was originally used to protect the lanes, but now so much more oil is used to provide the wall in the middle.

    Get rid of the wall, proprietors would save money, but whiners will whine.

  2. #1302
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    How will ball manufacturers maximize their profits if all they release are cheap balls
    Why do you bowl?

    To compete, or to donate to ball manufacturers?

  3. #1303

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike White View Post
    Why do you bowl?

    To compete, or to donate to ball manufacturers?
    I bowl for the ladies

  4. #1304
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    Mike White = salty.

    Not sure the relationship between you two but there is some angst there. Not sure if just playful ribbing or something more
    It's just the Aslan thinks his put together events represent a true test of skill.

    He claims he dominated me, but the facts are I out bowled him.

    His win comes from the fact that on normal conditions, I out bowl him by even more.

    So I have to give him handicap based on normal conditions, but then we compete on something bizarre like reverse oil patterns, or next to a birthday party where kids spill water right near the approach.

    He will comment about bowling on Wood, which was in such bad condition, it was begin torn out later that night.

    Trying to get the ball the slide thru the heads was like getting a needle to slide across a record.

    Every board in the heads was patched, so it was higher, or lower than the board next to it.

    I tried to throw the ball dead straight like Aslan does, but all I had was urethane, and plastic, so the deflection was awful.

    Also I didn't bring it up, but he violated our agreed upon rules.

    We were supposed to bowl 1 game of practice, then bowl 3 games of competition.

    I got there a bit early, and he was already down on the lanes practicing.

    When we went to Vegas, we bowled on a more normal condition, and he got crushed.

    We bowled together in a sport league, and even though I couldn't slide, he got crushed every week.

  5. #1305
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    I bowl for the ladies
    How's that working out for you?

    I hope better than it's working out for Aslan.

  6. #1306
    Bowling God Aslan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    I bowl for the ladies
    On the one hand; I respect that. On the other...that's like getting into motorcycling for the "biker babes"...it's not the prettiest of pictures.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike White View Post
    It's just the Aslan thinks his put together events represent a true test of skill.

    ....he dominated me, but the facts...I have to give him handicap....then we compete....which...I tried to throw the ball dead straight like Aslan does, but...I...was awful.

    Also I didn't bring it up, but...When we went to Vegas, we bowled on a more normal condition, and....We bowled together in a sport league, and...I couldn't slide,...got crushed every week.
    Read between the lines of whining and excuses.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike White View Post
    Solution, Lets get rid of resin balls.
    Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Mike says it every day.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    Mike White = salty.

    Not sure the relationship between you two but there is some angst there. Not sure if just playful ribbing or something more
    Since we have a relationship (BOWLING) outside the bowlingboards...it's mostly just playful ribbing. I'm still trying to figure out a situation where I can actually beat him....and he won't have ANY excuses...but that's like trying to figure out how to make a functioning airplane out of elmers glue, a paperclip, and a piece of lint. Even if I bowl him scratch...he's going to have some crazy list of excuses. I beat him scratch on wood lanes...then he claims the lanes are horrible. I beat him at two neutral centers...he claimed it was because I got handicap and the patterns were some strange pattern that doesn't actually even exist in the oil machine...or that the approaches were too sticky.

    He's like a less talented PDW...everything and anything can destroy his game...from a guy in a red shirt off in the distance...to a guy with a camera...to a water bottle noise. It's like taking a hypochondriac on a tour through a hospital.

    Mikes a good guy. And yes, he's a better bowler than me. On equal conditions (sport)...over the course of an ENTIRE season...I averaged 149 and he averaged closer to 175? So, truth be told...he's THAT much better. But...I'm still 3-2 head-to-head against him. Granted, a 3rd Annual BHMAVZSCI would be quite the challenge with him averaging 199 and me bringing in the inflated 190. I'd have to insist we bowl at AMF Carter. That's where my 190 average is from...so...come on over and lets see if MWhite can keep his 450rpm urethane ball right of the head-pin there!?? The approaches are decent...so he won't fall on his *** this time (See previous BHMAVZSCI for the hilarious blooper reel...start of Game 2 or Game 3...I like to keep replaying it over and over when I'm bored...).

    But we need the Z Master Flash...ZDawg is hurt...and I'd hate to make him drive all the way from San Diego to Fullerton. That's just mean. Too bad there's not another bowler in the SoCal area, from BB, that could step up and take his place....??? Don't say "Bunny"....she hates me....long story.
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  7. #1307

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike White View Post
    How's that working out for you?

    I hope better than it's working out for Aslan.
    Well I'm married. So not so good...

  8. #1308
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewToBowling View Post
    Well I'm married. So not so good...
    Well at least something worked for you in the past.

  9. #1309
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    Sweet Jesus, if you two are friends, I'd hate to be your enemies. Pretty toxic s**t if you ask me.
    Old guy with power (15.5-16; 325). Current arsenal--Storm Summit, RotoGrip Idol Helios, Storm Phaze III, Storm SureLock (retired), Storm IQ Tour Nano and Motiv Rebel tank (spare/dry). High sanctioned game - 300 (4). High sanctioned series - 856. A.V. 300-s - 8. Longest string - 25.
    2023/2024 YTD highs--High game-300; high series-739

  10. #1310

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    That's just how they are. I don't think they take anything personally. Especially with Mike White. You have to have thick skin around him. I'm pretty sure he is a nice guy in real life (I hope )

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