HELP FIND ASLAN a WOMAN!!

[Aslan]

Jw Aslan, do you even lift?

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

[tr33frog]

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

I lost weight best when doing a mix of cardio and lifting. I did cardio/core one day and then the other I would lift.

[MICHAEL]

Not only a future hall of famer in bowling, but a Buff body! Now I am really interested Aslan! Send my a ticket from Kansas city to where ever, and I will give you a dream date! ( I work out too)

I want to thank Iceman for letting me use his computer,,, mine is down at the present time!

I know my name is Susan, but you can call me Suie,,, Suie,,,, My Dad runs a hog farm, and when he would
call them hogs, back when I was knee-high-to a pig, many times I would come a running too! Make them there tickets first class if you don't mind!

"Do you see that big space between my teeth,,,, well........?????

[MICHAEL]

Aslan needs you!!

UNCLE Aslan WANT YOU!!

[Mudpuppy]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

[MICHAEL]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

Complete, might be a good adjective!! LOL I just don't get it! A Bowler, and Biker!! No takes yet, with the exception of my neighbor???? Maybe they just don't FEEL WORTHY!!!!

[e-tank]

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

-lifting burns more cals than cardio
-weight isnt lost because muscle mass is gained
-youre never too old for lifting
-i currently bench 415, im not 300lbs, and my gf loves every pound of it.

[tr33frog]

-lifting burns more cals than cardio
-weight isnt lost because muscle mass is gained
-youre never too old for lifting
-i currently bench 415, im not 300lbs, and my gf loves every pound of it.

Exactly! I've read that cardio burns while you do it, while lifting can burn for 24 hours after.

[Aslan]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

WHoa...whoa....I gotta do an experiment here with Mr. Puppy...I'm gonna post my list of 15 things and see where Mr. Puppy feels I'm "aiming a little high":

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
So apparently Muddpuppy is fine with a woman that can't wear a 2-piece in public. okay.
2) I weigh 215. So, you need to weigh less than that.
Again, apparently MP feels that I'm aiming a little high by hoping for a woman that weighs LESS than me. 215!?? MP...215 is a LOT for a female!
3) I'm cutting off the age at 54. There is no lower limit, but women don't age well. Don't blame me! Blame God. Believe me, I wish you gals got hotter with age…it would make walking around on the beach with 19-21 year olds running around not so damn frustrating. But it is what it is.
So MP...are you saying that maybe I should broaden my targets to include women in their 60s and 70s?? Thats some extreme cougar hunting right there.
4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
Okay...apparently "fertile" is asking a little much according to MP.
5) You need to be very sexual. I'm not talking weird…but if you're a gal that has weird issues with being molested as a child or you have some weird guilt stuff going on….Aslan requires sex on an almost daily basis…so prudes need not apply. And disease free is a must!
MP...seriously? If you think asking for someone without severe mental trauma and absent of STDs is "aiming too high"...we need to get you to a clinic PRONTO!!
6) You need to be fun. Really?? So "fun" is out???
7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
MP...if you're saying I should focus on dumb chicks...you're going to tick off the relatively few female bowlers here by discounting intelligence as a positive attribute.
8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store". "Maybe" aiming too high if I live in Dearborn...but really???
9) I'm setting the kid limit at 2. If you have more than 2 kids…then you better be dang hot and dang rich. More than 3 kids…can't do it. College tuition is too high these days.
MP! Why do I want some other dude's brats living off my dime??! How many kids did Mrs.-MP bring into the relationship??
10) No cats. If you're super hot…I'll maybe give in on ONE cat. Dogs are okay. But if your house/apartment smells like pet urine…I'm out. That makes me nauseous.
Okay...so now I'm being too picky because I've just ruled out hoarders and those people that you see on ASPCA Cops. Thats too picky.
11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
I admit not accepting NBA fans is pushing it in Cali...and the Nascar requirement eliminates every state southeast of Michigan and south of Chicago...so that may be true.
12) I'm open to all political persuasions…but if you're a hardcore Libertarian or an ultra-right conservative…thats gonna be rough. I consider anyone that is THAT far to the right for other than religious reasons to be completely clueless. If I have to listen to a woman drone on about flat taxes or how Fox News isn't biased…my head "may" explode.
Okay...this only limits tea party and libertarians...I'm still okay with moderate concervatives.
13) You need a job. I'd prefer it not be "exotic dancer" or "escort". But SOME type of job is mandatory. My money is tied up in bowling, poker, an outrageous amount of debt, and some divorce expenses…I am not in the position to be a "sugar daddy".
So a "JOB" is asking too much!!?
14) My ideal woman would have the body of Mia Nygren, the personality of Jamie Buchman (character in "Mad About You"), and the sex drive of Sasha Grey. And the intellect of a medical doctor. Sense of humor of Sarah Silverman.
Okay...this one's a bit out there...but it's only a guideline!!!
15) Loyal…no cheaters!!!
MP...again...you need to raise your standards if this is aiming too high.

MP...so lemme get this straight. If those 15 attributes are unrealistic...then the personal ad YOU would write...to find MP a woman...would be:

"Proud Michigander looking for female companion. Prefer obese women over 215lbs, over the age of 54 who are infertile and have a history of sexual trauma and STDs. I'd prefer a woman of low intelect, preferably a Muslim, who is very much not fun to be around. Please have more than 2 kids and a house that smells like pet urine. I'd prefer a white trash hillbilly or NBA fan. Please be unemployed, unattractive, a prude, and have no sense of humor and I'd prefer you be disloyal to me when you get a chance."- Yours always and Forever, Mudpuppy.

I'm gonna have to say...if I have to resort to MP's standards....being alone aint that bad. Just sayin.

[sprocket]

Don't most people fail in the gym because they have no idea what they are doing and are to proud to ask for help? They would rather look stupid lifting and using the machines wrong then take a small amount of instruction from a certified trainer.

Sounds like bowling...