How to bowl well in the midst of chaos?

[fsbjcm]

This is my first full league, and I hate it. I was a sub in the fall league and had a blast, so I decided I 'd play summer. However, I got paired with 2 couples that are driving me crazy. One guy likes to yell and cuss (LOUDLY) and slam beer bottles down on the table and punch the ball return and so on and so forth. The girlfriend acts like nothing is happening. The other couple is constantly bickering and fighting, mostly due to the lady CONSTANTLY nagging the guy, yelling for him while he's bowling, asking him to go get her drinks and food, etc. I try to stay out of it and just bowl my game but it's hard when there is so much going on. And the behavior by the first guy mentioned is frankly embarrassing. We bowl with several 70+ year old women and to say he's over the top with his language (and volume) puts it mildly. Do I just quit? Come back for the fall league? I keep seeing these looks from the other bowlers like "you poor guy". It's not really even fun, as I'm expected to keep everyone in check. I got into this to bowl, not to referee haha. Tips?

[RobLV1]

Talk privately with your league officers and explain the situation to them. There's not much that they can do about the bickering couple, but the guys over-the-top behavior needs to be curbed, and it's the league officers job to do it, not yours.

[fsbjcm]

Oh they know. There are only about 10-12 lanes we bowl on and I can guarantee you can hear him all the way down. I honestly just don't want to listen to it for 4 hours a week. I talked to the guy, he said to tell him to calm down, which I do, but he never does.

[Amyers]

You could always accidently drop a ball on his foot.

[ALazySavage]

As Rob stated, this is not your job to keep your team in check (in this situation). If this was an instance that you were friends with the four other bowlers I could make an argument that you should put forth a strong effort to calm the situation down, but this clearly isn't what you are dealing with. Now the first, and most important, thing I'm going to tell you is that in no situation should you return to this team in the fall. All you accomplish by doing that is giving yourself 36 more weeks of this. You can still bowl in the league and just inform the officers before you sign-up that in no situation are you bowling with any members of this current team.

As for handling this current situation, what is the seating arrangement of the team/bowling center? All of the Brunswick houses in my area have a table in the bowling area as well as seating behind the lane so in this situation I would try to find a way to separate myself from the situation while staying on my team's lane. While I know this is far from ideal, it becomes a question of what is better for you. In the past when I have dealt with the situation of bowling with a team that I didn't care for I did this (the rest of the team sat in the back, thus I sat in the seat closest to the lane and "studied" the lanes. Also, if you are comfortable with it you can also talk to stray bolwers on the other team to try to inject more of the social aspect without the frustration (this may also help you in finding a new team for the fall).

In all honesty, it is simply a crap situation and I hope you don't make a judgment on league bowling based on it. If you want/need a silver lining of the situation, it is a summer league and the way you handle it may make you a more desirable teammate for others who see this and need an additional bowler.

[fsbjcm]

I've got a semi-coach (a really good bowler who watches me and tells me what I'm doing wrong) who I plan to create a team with in the fall, but he's looking for me to get my average up into the 175-180 range. I'm at 150 now, and I'm just frustrated because I feel like I'm at a disadvantage due to the shenanigans going on around me. Seems to me like my team (with the exception of one of the girls) that my team takes summer league bowling WAY too seriously. At the end of the day it's bowling, it's a game, and it's supposed to be fun. That's why I do it! But it's only week 3 of a 13 week league and I'm not having fun anymore.

[tccstudent]

Well this bieng your first league you are gonna run into people like that. We have a few bowlers that have been kicked out of one or more houses around here for that kind of behavior. Summer leagues are a short season so if I was you use this time to get to know some of the other bowlers in the league and find some people that you would like to team up with in the fall. Inbetween your shots go and talk to others on other teams just keep an eye on your lanes and know when you are up.

[Amyers]

I will make a real suggestion here you have a opportunity here. My wife and my kids both struggle with dealing with adverse situations while bowling. Learn to block these distractions out it will make you better in the long run. Don't worry yourself with trying to reign in the other people. Concentrate on your game and leave this for the league officers and house owner. Keep your mind on your game. As I have introduced my kids to bowling and brought a lot of their friends with them to our practice sessions which I take seriously I have had to learn to deal with distractions. I have bowled with them stepping on to the lanes opposite me talking playing music and one girl thought it was funny to try and distract me by flicking my ear while I was on the approach getting set up to bowl learn to block it out socialize with the people you like and don't let it get to you. I would get different team mates for my fall league.

[MICHAEL]

If you don't want to get nose to nose and tell him to COOL IT,,, (iceman,, cool it,,, lol) Then get a good set of noise canceling head phones with a good MP3! Pick out some great music out that will calm your soul!!

[ALazySavage]

Let's focus on an aspect that is creating additional stress towards your bowling and see if we can reduce that stress.

The league that you plan on bowling with the semi-coach, is it a scratch league or a handicap league? If it is a scratch league I could more understand the scoring concern; there may be a minimum average requirement, if there is an average cap they may have room for a 180-190 bowler and he wants your average higher to make a better case for you joining the team, etc.

If the league is a handicap league though I don’t see what the pressure would be to raise your average in the summer. By having you grind through the struggles of a bad team you will be in a better position to thrive in the fall, you start the fall around the 150 range (mainly because you have to adjust to the new situation) and then a few months you start shooting 170-180 because you don’t have the same aggravations and you have a team with good teammates. The handicap benefit becomes significant too:

Taking a typical 90% handicap league you get the following average benefit (based on 220):
150 average + 63 handicap (90% of 70 pins) = 213 average score
180 average + 36 handicap (90% of 40 pins) = 216 average score

In a handicap league you are talking about a net difference of 3 pins; additionally it is much easier to improve on the 150 average than the 180 average so there is a higher potential this way (I'm not advocating that you purposely lower average in this situation, that is sandbagging). If you show the improvement a few months into the league, now you are taking your league average of 150 and shooting 165-170 that gives you a 15-20 net benefit. My thought is that the semi-coach is using this 180 number to give you a goal for the league, something to ensure that you remained concentrated on the task rather than having it as a requirement for joining.