My Worst Night Bowling

[Aslan]

Normally I'd say my worst night bowling is better than my average night doing anything else…but tonight was different.

Now, most of my "bad nights" bowling have been performance related. Times when I had high hopes only to bowl a 389 series or bowl a 118 game or something. Well, tonight was different:

Now, I formed a team with some guys from work. 2 of the guys I work with on a pretty much daily basis and the other 2 are in different departments. I'm the only one that has bowled in a league in the past decade, and 3 of the guys have never bowled in a league in their lives.

Well, one of the guys, the guy most excited about bowling when we first started the team, a total newbie…is a very mild mannered accountant. So much so that early on he didn't even really know how to do high 5s. I mean, this guy was probably not that popular as a kid, kind've a introvert, spends most of his time with his wife and church functions…not a guy with a lot of "guys night out" experiences.

Despite being about a 104 average bowler, he doesn't seem to get too frustrated. About the only thing that frustrates him is for some reason, he thinks league bowling should be faster than it generally is. He and one other guy (also a 101 average bowler) seem to like the nights where we bowl unopposed so we can be out in 1.5-2 hours. They like to rapid fire bowl. And they get real ornery when it's one of those 3.5-4 hour nights where you're bowling a slow team or there are equipment issues.

Well, tonight was a weird situation.
- It was position night.
- 3 of our 5 guys couldn't make it so we had 2 subs and one blind.
- We got DESTROYED by the other team; losing all 4 points…after a very long winning streak.

Anyways, he bowls #2 and I bowl #4 and the Blind was #3. So, the first two bowlers (from each team) would bowl…then he'd jump up to bowl really fast (horribly, even more so than usual)…then sit across from me and wait impatiently for me to jump up and bowl. At one point he asked; "Why aren't you bowling? It's your turn."

I tried to explain to him that since our #3 isn't here…if I bowl real fast…then pretty soon we're sitting there nearly 2 frames ahead. Don't get me wrong, I'd get up when their #3 bowler was on the approach…and I'd usually be done bowling before their #5 is up…most times while their #4 is up or even before.

The problem was, the other team was SLOW…MEGA SLOW!! Their #1 bowler would bowl…then it would take forever to get their #2 and #3 up there. So the night was really dragging on and my teammate was getting more and more irritated. And it didn't help, the team was bowling horribly and HE was bowling horribly.

Well, near the end of the final game…as I was waiting for their #3 to move up on the approach, he says;

Him: "I just don't understand."
I responded, "What?"
He then, out of nowhere….says "Why can't you just ****ING BOWL!??"

Now, this was surprising not only because it came out of nowhere…but it came from one of the most mild mannered men I've ever met. I didn't think this guy even KNEW a curse word. He's the guy that when the jokes start to get too raunchy he looks very uncomfortable.

So…I was kind've upset at his tone…obviously. But, I tried to once again calmly defend myself that there's no sense in racing up to bowl because at the end of the day we have to wait for the other team…it doesn't so any good to have our 4 bowlers bowl really fast and then sit around waiting 2 frames to bowl again.

But he just responded in a snarky way; "Yeah, well, maybe just try it!"

Now…this really kinda made ole Aslan mad. I mean, I put this team together…I organized it…I make sure we have subs lined up every night when we need them…I handle the money and scoresheets…I help the newer bowlers with everything from etiquette to technique. I mean, I gave up playing on my old team which I liked better…in a league I liked better…to start a work team.

Yet, all of the regulars seemed to think that a league night was 1-2 hours long. This guy has no idea how to bowl, and thinks it's some kind of race. And the other beginner just wants to get it over with because he's got a new girlfriend he wants to go home and talk/text with for 3 hours before bedtime. These aren't guys with kids or babysitters. These aren't guys that have some weird 5:30AM start time the next morning.

But yeah…as calmly as I handled it…I WASN'T happy…and chose to pretty much not even look his way the rest of the night. I was SO pissed…that I was worried if he got in my face about it…there'd be an altercation…which would lead to police and problems at work and probably me getting sued by the guy because he'd literally not stand a chance against me in a physical altercation.

I mean, most nights…5-man league…about 3 hours or a little under/a little over. Tonight…4 hours..and we were the last team done. I get it…I was annoyed too that for some reason their #2 bowler was too busy playing grab ask with his girlfriend and their #3 bowler seemed to always be off wandering around when it was turn…but I, as the #4 slot bowler…bowled against their #3 and #4 slot bowlers. It's not rocket science or brain surgery. Had I bowled fast…and the #5 guy bowled fast…and eventually the #1 guy…we'd have just been sitting there while their entire team alternated lanes.

Did I bowl well? No. Te entire team stunk it up. My average fell 2 pins after last week and another pin after tonight…so not too happy about that. But in addition to THAT…I had to deal with this jerk. ON MY OWN TEAM no less!

[Amyers]

It always hard to tell what you are going to get when you put a new team together. At least its only a summer league so you won't have to put up with it for too long. I have found it really helps to try and make sure that everyone on your team has the same mindset as you do. Whether it is we are here to drink and have a good time, we are serious bowlers and we want to win or we are newbies trying this out. Hopefully this was a one night thing and this behavior won't continue.

[MICHAEL]

Normally I'd say my worst night bowling is better than my average night doing anything else…but tonight was different.

Now, most of my "bad nights" bowling have been performance related. Times when I had high hopes only to bowl a 389 series or bowl a 118 game or something. Well, tonight was different:

Now, I formed a team with some guys from work. 2 of the guys I work with on a pretty much daily basis and the other 2 are in different departments. I'm the only one that has bowled in a league in the past decade, and 3 of the guys have never bowled in a league in their lives.

Well, one of the guys, the guy most excited about bowling when we first started the team, a total newbie…is a very mild mannered accountant. So much so that early on he didn't even really know how to do high 5s. I mean, this guy was probably not that popular as a kid, kind've a introvert, spends most of his time with his wife and church functions…not a guy with a lot of "guys night out" experiences.

Despite being about a 104 average bowler, he doesn't seem to get too frustrated. About the only thing that frustrates him is for some reason, he thinks league bowling should be faster than it generally is. He and one other guy (also a 101 average bowler) seem to like the nights where we bowl unopposed so we can be out in 1.5-2 hours. They like to rapid fire bowl. And they get real ornery when it's one of those 3.5-4 hour nights where you're bowling a slow team or there are equipment issues.

Well, tonight was a weird situation.
- It was position night.
- 3 of our 5 guys couldn't make it so we had 2 subs and one blind.
- We got DESTROYED by the other team; losing all 4 points…after a very long winning streak.

Anyways, he bowls #2 and I bowl #4 and the Blind was #3. So, the first two bowlers (from each team) would bowl…then he'd jump up to bowl really fast (horribly, even more so than usual)…then sit across from me and wait impatiently for me to jump up and bowl. At one point he asked; "Why aren't you bowling? It's your turn."

I tried to explain to him that since our #3 isn't here…if I bowl real fast…then pretty soon we're sitting there nearly 2 frames ahead. Don't get me wrong, I'd get up when their #3 bowler was on the approach…and I'd usually be done bowling before their #5 is up…most times while their #4 is up or even before.

The problem was, the other team was SLOW…MEGA SLOW!! Their #1 bowler would bowl…then it would take forever to get their #2 and #3 up there. So the night was really dragging on and my teammate was getting more and more irritated. And it didn't help, the team was bowling horribly and HE was bowling horribly.

Well, near the end of the final game…as I was waiting for their #3 to move up on the approach, he says;

Him: "I just don't understand."
I responded, "What?"
He then, out of nowhere….says "Why can't you just ****ING BOWL!??"

Now, this was surprising not only because it came out of nowhere…but it came from one of the most mild mannered men I've ever met. I didn't think this guy even KNEW a curse word. He's the guy that when the jokes start to get too raunchy he looks very uncomfortable.

So…I was kind've upset at his tone…obviously. But, I tried to once again calmly defend myself that there's no sense in racing up to bowl because at the end of the day we have to wait for the other team…it doesn't so any good to have our 4 bowlers bowl really fast and then sit around waiting 2 frames to bowl again.

But he just responded in a snarky way; "Yeah, well, maybe just try it!"

Now…this really kinda made ole Aslan mad. I mean, I put this team together…I organized it…I make sure we have subs lined up every night when we need them…I handle the money and scoresheets…I help the newer bowlers with everything from etiquette to technique. I mean, I gave up playing on my old team which I liked better…in a league I liked better…to start a work team.

Yet, all of the regulars seemed to think that a league night was 1-2 hours long. This guy has no idea how to bowl, and thinks it's some kind of race. And the other beginner just wants to get it over with because he's got a new girlfriend he wants to go home and talk/text with for 3 hours before bedtime. These aren't guys with kids or babysitters. These aren't guys that have some weird 5:30AM start time the next morning.

But yeah…as calmly as I handled it…I WASN'T happy…and chose to pretty much not even look his way the rest of the night. I was SO pissed…that I was worried if he got in my face about it…there'd be an altercation…which would lead to police and problems at work and probably me getting sued by the guy because he'd literally not stand a chance against me in a physical altercation.

I mean, most nights…5-man league…about 3 hours or a little under/a little over. Tonight…4 hours..and we were the last team done. I get it…I was annoyed too that for some reason their #2 bowler was too busy playing grab ask with his girlfriend and their #3 bowler seemed to always be off wandering around when it was turn…but I, as the #4 slot bowler…bowled against their #3 and #4 slot bowlers. It's not rocket science or brain surgery. Had I bowled fast…and the #5 guy bowled fast…and eventually the #1 guy…we'd have just been sitting there while their entire team alternated lanes.

Did I bowl well? No. Te entire team stunk it up. My average fell 2 pins after last week and another pin after tonight…so not too happy about that. But in addition to THAT…I had to deal with this jerk. ON MY OWN TEAM no less!

Cliff Note version: Aslan had a crappy night bowling along with his team! Average going wrong direction!

[mc_runner]

There comes a point when you gotta tell him to blind himself out if he wants to get outta there that badly... at that point he was probably a cancer on the morale and performance anyway - both his and yours. Like Amyers said at least its a short summer league!

[Aslan]

There comes a point when you gotta tell him to blind himself out if he wants to get outta there that badly... at that point he was probably a cancer on the morale and performance anyway - both his and yours. Like Amyers said at least its a short summer league!

I don't know if the subs noticed the hostility because they were sitting at the table hootin and hollerin and enjoying themselves. Our subs haven't got much action lately so I think they were glad to be there...despite their bowling performances. But they did notice that at the end, the other guy packed his stuff up quick and left without saying anything.

It's too bad because at the start of the season, these guys were so positive and anxious to bowl and they all bought new shoes and balls and it was all they could talk about. The guy in question even took a bowling lesson. It got SO popular that what started out as 4 guys and a sub turned into 5 guys and 3 subs and a few more people interested enough to come out and watch and possibly play next season. I figured by the fall season, we'd have enough interest to start 2 teams. And even the VP of our division came out one night to watch us and he was all excited about it and happy that we put the team together.

But as the season has progressed, one guy got a girlfriend...so bowling is now an "inconvenience". And now this guy is acting like a turd...which makes me not even want to organize a team next season. Like Amerys said, I really need to find a team that can have fun but is competitive and really loves the sport of bowling. It's been fun playing with these guys and watching all their excitement and watching them get better...but it's also frustrating when they are in such a hurry that they throw the ball in the gutter twice on one lane...then move over to the other lane, throw it in the gutter again on the first ball. I mean, come on...take a breath...get in your stance...it's NOT a friggin race! If you hate being at the bowling alley...DON'T BOWL!! Go home to your new girlfriend or go home and read the Wall Street Journal or whatever old, boring people do on a Thursday night.

[Mudpuppy]

Cliff Notes: Don't expect to see Aslan's new team on CBSSN anytime soon but you might find them on match.com looking for a woman even though Iceman finds him quality females.

[Aslan]

Cliff Notes: Don't expect to see Aslan's new team on CBSSN anytime soon but you might find them on match.com looking for a woman even though Iceman finds him quality females.

Actually, cliff notes, my youtube video may be more interesting this week should the camera catch me knocking the dude out. Granted, that wouldn't be a smart move for multiple reasons...but I was quite angry last week when this guy barked an F-Bomb at me. I felt insulted and disrespected. I have a very long fuse...which is a virtue. But the bomb at the end of that fuse is very, very unpleasant. It's like Jeckyl versus Hyde.

And STILL no contact from him nor apology. I was 60% sure he'd apologize the next day...so I'm a bit surprised and curious as to what is coming tomorrow. I think it's 50/50 whether he shows or not at this point.

[Bunny]

That's a bummer, Man.

Seriously though, that sucks.


I just joined a fun league on Friday nights. I got put with a team I don't know, but no biggie I can pretty much get along with most people.

Oh Boy! Apparently, I got hooked up the senior swingers team or something. An older lady on our team spent the whole time last week on Plenty of Fish (sleazy dating website.) If she wasn't up on the lane she was reading profiles out loud and going on and on in detail about her bad dates. I don't want to hear all that. Yuk.

The older guy on our team tried to show me some skanky pictures from a recent bowling trip he took to Vegas that happened to be during one of the adult film conventions. He had already showed me the pictures the week before. Remember! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!

[mc_runner]

I'm curious now... did the guy show up and was it any better this last time out?

[Aslan]

I'm curious now... did the guy show up and was it any better this last time out?

I figured 60% chance he'd apologize the following week...he didn't. I figured 20% chance he shows up early and apologizes or 20% he doesn't show. Well, he showed, and didn't apologize...just went on like nothing had happened.

At first, I was going to give him the cold shoulder...make the point that I wasn't happy with his comments the week prior...but I decided to "rise above it" and be a good team captain. But, given there was no apology...thats his "free one". He pulls that again, cussing me out or getting in my face...teammate or no...coworker or no...he's going to see a side of me I think will not only surprise him, but will likely scare him to the point that he'll no longer bowl.

Fortunately, the slow player on the other team was absent, bowling blind, so things moved at a faster pace and our guy was happy.