The Real Dead Beats of Orange County

[Bunny]

Just need to vent. Ya'll post comments that make me laugh. I'm hoping for that here.

I got a call a couple of months ago from a girl in LA. We're both animal massage practitioners (my part time business) and have done some charity events together.

Anyway, she got a call from a girl in Newport Coast who had an exclusive client that was having a doggie party the following day and wanted an animal massage person there for her guests' pooches. My colleague wasn't available and passed on the opportunity to me.

I received a call from the girl with the client. She said that here client was one of the women on Real Housewives that was having the party. Not one of the main girls but she's on the show. She asked if I could bring some oils too.

OK STOP HERE.


I had an Angel/Devil on my shoulder moment a la Animal House. It was really like that!

The Angel said, "No way! You don not like those people. They're horrible, and fake, and make you sick. Don't do it! Don't you do it"

Ah. But the Devil, he is cunning. He said in a sweet little voice, "Yeah but, you can make a little cash. Wouldn't some cash be nice!"

"Go away Angel. I want money! I need money." I said to my Angel.

"Suit yourself." Replied my Angel and *poof* they were gone.


I didn't say no and I feel like I literally sold my soul to the Devil. Blechhh.



I did the event and made custom essential oil blends for all the guests. I did a wonderful job. The maid thanked me for calming down the dog that had been driving her crazy all day. Guests commented on how the dogs really seemed to get a lot out of their sessions. All the while I had to listen inane babble from the Real Housewives/Newport Coast crowd. They were everything I expected and so much less. The complete, shallow bs that came out of their mouths was nearly unbearable. The groomer said that she was going to charge double for having to listen to it for four hours! But I didn't say anything. I tried not to have a personal dislike toward them. They're people too I tried to keep telling myself and just concentrated on my job.


They were straight out of Stepford. One couple came with their two blinged out dogs in a top of line Bentley. Their nanny and their kid came behind in a matching Bentley. They never interacted with their kids once. None of them did.


As the party was wrapping up I asked the girl who hired me how to handle the money situation.

"Did you bring an invoice?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." I replied.

"Ok. She'll pay you a grand and probably tip you too."

I thought to myself that's not what I asked but that was about what I was going to charge anyway. $35 x 10 = $350 for the oils and $600 for a rush special event = $950.


I handed the woman who wants her own Real Houswives show and who was having the party (Jackie Melby) the invoice. She asked me to come back tomorrow to pick up a check.

BIG MISTAKE!! When I returned the next day they were recording for the tv show. The maid came out and said that they were busy. I told her to put the check in the mail, my address is on the invoice. So, no check after a month. I mailed a new invoice offering a discount if paid within 30 days. No check. Nothing. I texted the girl who hired me asking what was up. She texted me back hours later with only "What's your address?"

Ok. More games. You have my address but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt again. I gave my PO BOX. That was two weeks ago. Still nothing.


As Red from That 70's Show would say.


F************************************************* *******************************CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm a little better now. Thanks for reading! Please make me laugh at this somehow!!

[Aslan]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

[rv driver]

Just need to vent. Ya'll post comments that make me laugh. I'm hoping for that here.

I got a call a couple of months ago from a girl in LA. We're both animal massage practitioners (my part time business) and have done some charity events together.

Anyway, she got a call from a girl in Newport Coast who had an exclusive client that was having a doggie party the following day and wanted an animal massage person there for her guests' pooches. My colleague wasn't available and passed on the opportunity to me.

I received a call from the girl with the client. She said that here client was one of the women on Real Housewives that was having the party. Not one of the main girls but she's on the show. She asked if I could bring some oils too.

OK STOP HERE.


I had an Angel/Devil on my shoulder moment a la Animal House. It was really like that!

The Angel said, "No way! You don not like those people. They're horrible, and fake, and make you sick. Don't do it! Don't you do it"

Ah. But the Devil, he is cunning. He said in a sweet little voice, "Yeah but, you can make a little cash. Wouldn't some cash be nice!"

"Go away Angel. I want money! I need money." I said to my Angel.

"Suit yourself." Replied my Angel and *poof* they were gone.


I didn't say no and I feel like I literally sold my soul to the Devil. Blechhh.



I did the event and made custom essential oil blends for all the guests. I did a wonderful job. The maid thanked me for calming down the dog that had been driving her crazy all day. Guests commented on how the dogs really seemed to get a lot out of their sessions. All the while I had to listen inane babble from the Real Housewives/Newport Coast crowd. They were everything I expected and so much less. The complete, shallow bs that came out of their mouths was nearly unbearable. The groomer said that she was going to charge double for having to listen to it for four hours! But I didn't say anything. I tried not to have a personal dislike toward them. They're people too I tried to keep telling myself and just concentrated on my job.


They were straight out of Stepford. One couple came with their two blinged out dogs in a top of line Bentley. Their nanny and their kid came behind in a matching Bentley. They never interacted with their kids once. None of them did.


As the party was wrapping up I asked the girl who hired me how to handle the money situation.

"Did you bring an invoice?" she asked.

"Yes, of course." I replied.

"Ok. She'll pay you a grand and probably tip you too."

I thought to myself that's not what I asked but that was about what I was going to charge anyway. $35 x 10 = $350 for the oils and $600 for a rush special event = $950.


I handed the woman who wants her own Real Houswives show and who was having the party (Jackie Melby) the invoice. She asked me to come back tomorrow to pick up a check.

BIG MISTAKE!! When I returned the next day they were recording for the tv show. The maid came out and said that they were busy. I told her to put the check in the mail, my address is on the invoice. So, no check after a month. I mailed a new invoice offering a discount if paid within 30 days. No check. Nothing. I texted the girl who hired me asking what was up. She texted me back hours later with only "What's your address?"

Ok. More games. You have my address but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt again. I gave my PO BOX. That was two weeks ago. Still nothing.


As Red from That 70's Show would say...


F************************************************* *******************************************CK!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm a little better now. Thanks for reading! Please make me laugh at this somehow!!

I have 3 words of advice for you:

Cash. Up. Front.

[Bunny]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

Only every 11 minutes? Lol!! Thanks for the laugh!!

[Bunny]

I have 3 words of advice for you:

Cash. Up. Front.

IMG_2014031435195.img_assist_custom-480x285.jpg

[Amyers]

Phew....I worried after seeing the title it was me...

Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of those horrible shows. They make me nauseous just watching them. I ran into one of the real housewives at a bar once and of course they had their own private table and felt all self important. I mean, what have they "done"? What is their big "accomplishment"? I can sort of understand Paris Hilton because...well, she's hot. Hot girls always get treated like royalty despite lack of accomplishments. But these ladies are walking Frankenstein dolls with stitches and botox holding thier faces together. They just look like leathery old bags trying as hard as they can to get enogh work done that people won't notice.

Well Bunny...at least you met a D-list celebrity. I've been in SoCal for over 2 years and haven't met one. I saw Paul McCartney go into a building once...but I was like 40 feet away and he was surrounded by security. I was in line for a poker tournament and the guy behind me was some C-list poker guy...but I didn't know who he was.

I couldn't be around you when you're doing pet massage. I'd be SOOOO tempted...every 11 minutes...to come over and ask you to "pet my monkey" or some other crude nonsense that you'd get quickly annoyed with and I would find entertaining to no end.

I was so worried about where you were going with this.

People actually pay to have animals massaged I know I'm from the woods but you people truly will spend money on anything. I had a friend in St. Louis who payed like two hundred bucks a day to board his dog at some fancy place couldn't believe it I told him I would have stuck it out in my back yard for $50 bucks. Some how he didn't think it was quite the same.

[Aslan]

I was so worried about where you were going with this.

People actually pay to have animals massaged I know I'm from the woods but you people truly will spend money on anything. I had a friend in St. Louis who payed like two hundred bucks a day to board his dog at some fancy place couldn't believe it I told him I would have stuck it out in my back yard for $50 bucks. Some how he didn't think it was quite the same.

Well, in his defense…most people in West Virginia might eat the poor animal…so it's good to let the professionals keep an eye on it.

[classygranny]

I don't know what to say to make you laugh. This should certainly be a learning experience for you. We probably have all been there, done that.

Keep sending a bill - every 10 days! BUT, no discount for payment, you should tack on late charges. Perhaps the invoice is too "PETTY" for them to be troubled by. Keep "PESTERING" everyone involved. May work, may not, but at least you can be annoying - and have a reason for being so.

[Bunny]

I don't know what to say to make you laugh. This should certainly be a learning experience for you. We probably have all been there, done that.

Keep sending a bill - every 10 days! BUT, no discount for payment, you should tack on late charges. Perhaps the invoice is too "PETTY" for them to be troubled by. Keep "PESTERING" everyone involved. May work, may not, but at least you can be annoying - and have a reason for being so.

Thanks Girl! It's just sad that some people have to take something positive and healing, and turn into something negative.

I'll be bugging them often and will probably end up filing a small claims lawsuit.

[Mike White]

Thanks Girl! It's just sad that some people have to take something positive and healing, and turn into something negative.

I'll be bugging them often and will probably end up filing a small claims lawsuit.

Let us know when you're going to be on Judge Judy.

I'll make an exception and watch that episode.