****forehead slap**** ugh...

[Shaneshu87]

so this is my first fall season in a few years i decided to get my old team together in which only 1 was available. so in a mad dash i scrambled together a team in two week, one of my bowlers is 30 years old hasn't bowled since YABA, he bought a reign on and he is doing great, however he set a 176 average his first night with the ball, last night her through a monster fit because he only rolled a 145 average. after reminding him several times to CHILL and that he hasn't bowled in nearly 18 years, and it's like riding a bike it will all come back just be patient calm down and keep rolling... he still doesn't get it.

anyone have experience dealing with this?

another of my bowlers has never bowled out side of a few cosmic drunken fun nights, he has no clue about league rules and manners, i have spent many hours teaching him the basics of how to throw a hook ball, league manners, and such. he has a habit of just walking up, grabbing his ball off the rack and GO! he doesn't take the time to square up, line up or nothing to show "skill" at first i thought i dont care, it's handicap lol but after he got yelled at last night by a member of the team we were smoking, he started to have second thoughts about whether or not he wants to bowl... grrr! i cannot be hunting for a new teammate 2 weeks into the season! i told him that the old man was being grumpy, and i even had a chat with the old man, after that he was fine. and my bowler has learned some patience out of the ordeal, but still rushes the line trying to sack the qb.

is there anyone who has dealt with this situation?
i told him we all bowl for fun and it's cool but he seemed rather shaken by the confrontation, and i feel like this is just another reason why you can't get the typical cosmic bowlers to come join a league, old grouchy people like that!

[mc_runner]

Just tell him that now he has a new "nemesis" to beat, haha. It should be fine if he sticks it out a few more weeks and gets more comfortable and talks to a few other people in the league. That exact thing happened to me a couple years ago bringing someone new in.

[hoku41205]

About three years ago, I asked two of my closest friends to bowl. One hadn't bowled since we were like 12 (we were 24/25 at the time) and the other had never bowled besides a random here or there. so it sounds like YOUR SITUATION EXACTLY. The first two seasons with them was rough. The past bowler was cranky all the time because there were so many new rules and it "wasn't like youth bowling" and the newbie just didn't get it. I coached kids at the time, so I would try to coach her too, and she just didn't care. I'd teach her etiquette and how leagues worked and what sanctioning was all about, but again, nothing stuck. It was the end of our second season when I had finally said "I'm done, you do whatever you want, bowl or don't bowl, I don't care anymore" and we got our payouts that I think it hit both of them. I then realized I had been pushing them for so long to become a bowler like me, that I had to just let things play the course. If your past bowler really wants to bowl, he has to learn to curb his mental game. Depending what he averaged when he was younger he might have this inflated picture in his head of what he should be doing. I believe bowling is 20% skill and 80% mental game. Your newbie will just have to go through the motions, but walk with them along the way. If they didn't want to bowl in the first place, they wouldn't have said yes... at least you've got that as a good start

[Aslan]

however he set a 176 average his first night with the ball, last night her through a monster fit because he only rolled a 145 average.

anyone have experience dealing with this?

I did that my first time in a sanctioned league. Set my average at 180 on the first night. Then settled into my average of 150s-160s over the course of the season.

And like him, my mental game tends to really fall apart when things aren't going my way…which makes my game even worse…and then my mental game even worse…so on and so forth.

There's not much YOU can do to fix that. Generally, if you and the other teammates bowl well…and the team wins…it lessens the pain a bit…and a guy like him/me won't feel as bad. It's even harder when we feel like we've "lost" the team the game.

another of my bowlers has never bowled out side of a few cosmic drunken fun nights, he has no clue about league rules and manners, i have spent many hours teaching him the basics of how to throw a hook ball, league manners, and such. he has a habit of just walking up, grabbing his ball off the rack and GO! he doesn't take the time to square up, line up or nothing to show "skill" at first i thought i dont care, it's handicap lol but after he got yelled at last night by a member of the team we were smoking, he started to have second thoughts about whether or not he wants to bowl... grrr! i cannot be hunting for a new teammate 2 weeks into the season! i told him that the old man was being grumpy, and i even had a chat with the old man, after that he was fine. and my bowler has learned some patience out of the ordeal, but still rushes the line trying to sack the qb.

is there anyone who has dealt with this situation?

YUP. Three of the members on my team fit that description. You ask them where they start or where they aim…and they just shrug their shoulders. They think it's race…so if the league night takes longer than 2.5 hours…they get pissed off. Their favorite nights are when we bowl unopposed. And on more than one occasion…many actually…they've rushed up there and a person on a lane next to them has sort of stopped, given them a look, and waited even though it was their turn.

And yes, as you get older, you'll find that men in general tend to not "like" confrontations as much. Confrontations become more "costly" the older you get. Last season I had a guy get mad at me…and all I did was "approach" the ball return while he was starting his approach. It was accidental (he has one of those weird delayed type of approaches that starts and stops) and I apologized. But he wasn't happy. But at my age…a true confrontation could lead to an actual "fight". And when you're young…fights tend to lead to black eyes and war stories. When you're "old", fights lead to a police record, a potential lawsuit, and/or lost income from work…and it's not as "cool". People don't see you as the "tough, macho guy"…they see you as "the jerk that gets in fights".

So, long story short…older guys that get "tension" from players during league night will often use that as reasoning to not bowl or join a different league. It's just not worth the aggravation to pay $20 to bowl with people that are going to "confront" you.

I then realized I had been pushing them for so long to become a bowler like me, that I had to just let things play the course.

This is a hard lesson to learn. I used to be really into paintball and I tried everything to get my friends into it. I even gave them equipment hoping it would get them interested. But they never got that into it. Finally, I had to realize, they aren't going to necessarily love it the way I did…and thats okay. I started going to play paintball, even big events, by myself rather than try to twist their arms.

Same thing with bowling. I love it. Some of my friends like it…but most just think it's "okay". So, I'm not gonna bother trying to twist their arms to get everyone to bowl in 1-2 leagues and practice once a week…thats what I do. But that doesn't mean they are going to want to do that…and you'll spend a LOT of time banging your head against the wall if you try to get them to love something the same way you do.

[Beagle]

Simple way to have a new bowler become more focused, team oriented, interested instead of the I don't give a **** attitude. I'm guessing the new bowler has quite a few sticks. Throw him in, or make it team mandatory, a handicap pot. Hopefully he will come up short by a pin or two to winning the pot. that will get his attn.

[Shaneshu87]

thanks for the help guys i have talked with both of them in practice, i have the cranky bowler convinced that the only way he is going to maintain that avg is to practice, he didn't think he need to. and the total noob, i have worked with quite a bit on etiquette and feel confident in his understanding of the game.

[Jaescrub]

Good deal some times that's all it takes is a talk

[Amyers]

thanks for the help guys i have talked with both of them in practice, i have the cranky bowler convinced that the only way he is going to maintain that avg is to practice, he didn't think he need to. and the total noob, i have worked with quite a bit on etiquette and feel confident in his understanding of the game.

Congrats man dealing with people is never easy

[RobLV1]

Personalities are often an issue, whether it's with bowlers who are new to the sport, or longtime bowlers. At the beginning of this summer, on the first day of a summer Senior Handicap recreational league, a woman got all upset during practice because the bowler on the other lane jumped up in front of her in practice. I suggested that it was just practice, and that she should just go ahead and bowl. She slammed her ball down and screamed at me, "I won't go up at the same time as another bowler!" She never spoke to me again all summer. It just so happens that two weeks later I was bowling in the Senior Masters, and the first game on the third day, I bowled with Parker Bohn and Pete McCordic. A couple of times during warm-up they bowled in unison. I could help but smile at the fact that these two great bowlers had no problem with doing this, but this old lady saw fit to slam her ball down instead. It's a strange world we live in!

[MICHAEL]

Personalities are often an issue, whether it's with bowlers who are new to the sport, or longtime bowlers. At the beginning of this summer, on the first day of a summer Senior Handicap recreational league, a woman got all upset during practice because the bowler on the other lane jumped up in front of her in practice. I suggested that it was just practice, and that she should just go ahead and bowl. She slammed her ball down and screamed at me, "I won't go up at the same time as another bowler!" She never spoke to me again all summer. It just so happens that two weeks later I was bowling in the Senior Masters, and the first game on the third day, I bowled with Parker Bohn and Pete McCordic. A couple of times during warm-up they bowled in unison. I could help but smile at the fact that these two great bowlers had no problem with doing this, but this old lady saw fit to slam her ball down instead. It's a strange world we live in!

Had to laugh while reading your thoughts... LOL,,, Last year when throwing my first 300 game, ON THE LAST throw, in the 10 frame, a bowler on that league, approach the foul line almost like in an Ester Williams Swimming movie with Iceman! I kid you not, it was perfect unison! I even think our balls hit at the same moment!!

You know I got the strike, for the 300, but I think it has to do with my Ironman Focus! I don't get distracted much AT ALL. Having worked Iron for many years, walking the Iron Up hundreds of feet most of my life,,, YOU LEARN TO FOCUS! While walking Iron, sometimes only inches wide, with distractions everywhere on a construction site, Focus is a means of staying ALIVE!

I remember fellow team mates getting upset about the person that walked up and delivered his ball at the same time as me, but it didn't bother me at all. I was so focused, that I didn't even know it happened till after the release, when he reached across and shook my hand, and said congratulations. FOCUS,,, True FOCUS is something I think few average bowlers have in their vocabulary! (and might be a BIG reason why they don't make it to the next level, in many cases) Just an old man's thoughts Aslan!!

Not all OLD MEN, Aslan are stereotypically the same! Rob and Iceman are special!!