Real Men Bowl on Wood, World Championship ICEMAN OPEN

[JoeInPI]

I'm new here, but I wish I could have done this. Pull out my Faball Red Pearl Hammer and old Cordovan Linds shoes- that would have been so much fun. I miss the old days (and I'm only 41!)

[MICHAEL]

I am the Lord thy Bowling-God, You better not have false Bowling-God’s before you! It’s been one hell of a task, listening, and guiding many of you with your journeys trying to learn who to get “more revolutions, better scores, and what Magic Ball to buy, that will give you that 300, 800 game. I must say I have aged well, still riding my bike and traveling all over this bowling alley laden country.

Just got back from the Rosewell New Mexico thing, over the 4th of july! It was one of those out of this this world experiences.
Why do I have this need to have a rematch between mere mortals, after bowling with the god’s since.

The Wood lanes of Plattsburg have been sanded, and reconditioned, and checked for certification by the Local chapter that does that her in Plattsburg Missouri! I tried them out last Saturday, and WOW! What a huge difference it makes after a reconditioning .

I ask again,,, WHO among you are willing to bowl against ME here on the ancient biblical lanes, where the Gods come to bowl,,,,, REAL BOWLING on Wood Lanes, not synthetic crap! Who has the courage to jump on their bikes, ride their horses, hitch hike the miles to try their luck bowling a God!

I rolled several 200 games on my FIRST try after the reconditioning…. I must say the difference is night and day from what they were last fall. ( the games were low 200's, but I am looking forward to some real good scores on the wood this fall)

Who has the courage, money, and guts to take on a GOD! I have morphed into something legends could be made of. I want a rematch sometime in September… beating the kitty cat, Aslan ONCE …. Was not enough! I will be 67 this September,,,, a year older, and in many respects an even more Almighty Bowling God!
Do any of you earthly beings have the courage to FACE me On New Wood in the Holy, Blessed, Consecrated, hallowed, sacred, sanctified by ME lanes!
I will rent the lanes; YOU just need to have the courage to make the trip. A trip that you will never forget!

I must WARN you! My game is not what it used to be when I was a mere mortal……

How many, what date, and what will the prize be! You have nothing to lose but your pride!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT A GOD, ON HIS ON Blessed, consecrated sacred wood lanes?

I personally think Middle of September would work out for me, that’s when we bowled last Aslan on my birthday, Sept 24th, and thanks for that victory, and the cake! I have unfinished business with Mike White, and that coach, what’s his name, Roberto??? Hopefully any and all my biker buddies will show up too!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/...ps4e20e31d.jpg

[vdubtx]

I must WARN you! My game is not what it used to be when I was a mere mortal……

How many, what date, and what will the prize be! You have nothing to lose but indignity, and humiliating experience of being beat by an Old Broken Down Iron Worker with the Gift, and Godly status!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT A GOD, ON HIS ON Blessed, consecrated sacred wood lanes?

Well hello stranger. You have been on some long trip......
Welcome back, hope you stay awhile. The newbs won't know who you are, but the rest of us do.

I can beat the bowling GOD on whatever lane surface you choose? Even ICE.

[Amyers]

Good to see you back Ice. I think even aslan missed you. I would love to come but the only times I could make it are Christmas or the summer months. Really glad to see you back the boards aren't the same without you're multiple deadly aims or talk of the gift.

[MICHAEL]

Well hello stranger. You have been on some long trip......
Welcome back, hope you stay awhile. The newbs won't know who you are, but the rest of us do.

I can beat the bowling GOD on whatever lane surface you choose? Even ICE.

Many here lately have tried on the wood! Talk is cheap, and easy to type the words, " I can beat the bowling God!"
Lets set this thing up, This wood is in Perfect condition, as mentioned, complete resurfacing. (NOT THAT I NEEDED IT)!

If any of you are ever in the neck of the WOODS,,,, you need to drop me a line, and we can bowl the last wood lane in the Kansas City metro area.
(Within 3000 miles)....

I am always looking for some FRESH Meat!!

I am ready for another meeting, and bowl off.... how many of you want in on this...


FAST approaching a YEAR Aslan.... can you beat a 66 year old this year, or do you want to wait till I turn 67 Sept 24th this year?
Regardless the out come would still be the same,,,,,maybe worse,,,, I am a GOD NOW!

[MICHAEL]

I just sopped by to see how all of you are doing,,, I can see there is no interest in a 6 lane, bowling tournament in the historic town of Plattsburg Missouri... I know in my heart it could have been one of those moments in bowling on WOOD that the history books would relish!

I will ascend into the heavens and take my place at the right hand side of my Bowling God!

Take care.... and always remember, Real bowling happens on Wood!

[vdubtx]

ICEMAN,

The site is little slower than it used to be back in the day.

Don't leave us so soon upon your return.
Keep posting, we need some light heartedness on the site.

[Aslan]

I am the Lord thy Bowling-God, You better not have false Bowling-God’s before you! It’s been one hell of a task, listening, and guiding many of you with your journeys trying to learn who to get “more revolutions, better scores, and what Magic Ball to buy, that will give you that 300, 800 game. I must say I have aged well, still riding my bike and traveling all over this bowling alley laden country.

Much like the shadowy being Sauron from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy...he was always mentioned and rumored to be alive...existing yet forgotten yet bound to return...

Just got back from the Rosewell New Mexico thing, over the 4th of july! It was one of those out of this this world experiences.
Why do I have this need to have a rematch between mere mortals, after bowling with the god’s since.

The Wood lanes of Plattsburg have been sanded, and reconditioned, and checked for certification by the Local chapter that does that her in Plattsburg Missouri! I tried them out last Saturday, and WOW! What a huge difference it makes after a reconditioning .

I ask again,,, WHO among you are willing to bowl against ME here on the ancient biblical lanes, where the Gods come to bowl,,,,, REAL BOWLING on Wood Lanes, not synthetic crap! Who has the courage to jump on their bikes, ride their horses, hitch hike the miles to try their luck bowling a God!

I'm gonna guess the number of challengers that will attend is close to zero. Maybe 1. And it should not be taken personally. If the question was, "Who would LIKE to come to some Podunk town in the middle of nowhere to bowl against Iceman on some crazy 6-lane house that his nephew's dad's friend runs and sells tackle/bait out the back...I think there might be a lot of "I'd Like to!!" BUT...what we like...and what we actually CAN do...often times...very different things. I'd like Diana Zavtajlova (which I can't spell) to dump that nerdy looking Dave Wodka, move away from that absurd "Beavertown, OH"...and move in with me...to be my lover, friend, bowling coach, and maid...in that order of importance. That's what I WANT....what I CAN GET...is an overweight homeless woman who for $120 will do things in exchange for money she can use to buy drugs. See how there's a wide GAP in terms of "wants" vs "cans"? Believe me....nobody is more upset about it than me!!

I rolled several 200 games on my FIRST try after the reconditioning…. I must say the difference is night and day from what they were last fall. ( the games were low 200's, but I am looking forward to some real good scores on the wood this fall)

Realize, Iceman is Amish so it takes 15 frames to equal 200.

Who has the courage, money, and guts to take on a GOD!

I'm gonna guess nobody. I have the courage and guts....but not the money nor vacation time. Plus, I've seen the "God" in action...and VDub you are NOT!! I mean, If I can take down MWhite in both the 1st annual AND 2nd annual AVZBHMSCI...then beating Iceman isn't gonna be a problem. I went easy on him last time because I wanted Rob to win...and besides...what kinda person humiliates a man on his birthday?? It just didn't seem right. I just waited till the next day, with Rob as a witness, and not only destroyed him at Red Rock...but nearly killed him (he took a terrible tumble...kinda like when MWhite stuck on the approach at the 2AAVZBHMSCI and took a figure skater nosedive...except with Iceman's 66-year-old bones....it was more serious....very touch and go for a few seconds. Hard to get an ambulance in Vegas with all the people being treated for alcohol poisoning. But, fortunately, he survived.

I have morphed into something legends could be made of.

Key word 'could'. Legends 'could' be made of that just like kids 'could' be made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But INSTEAD...you're made of brittle bones and have shown a rather thin skin. I assume you are also held together by chewing gum, peanut butter, and hemp...but that's just a guess. The only thing "legendary" I see is that by disappearing for however many months...you BECAME a legend...because you weren't here.

I want a rematch sometime in September… beating the kitty cat, Aslan ONCE …. Was not enough! I will be 67 this September,,,, a year older, and in many respects an even more Almighty Bowling God!
Do any of you earthly beings have the courage to FACE me On New Wood in the Holy, Blessed, Consecrated, hallowed, sacred, sanctified by ME lanes!
I will rent the lanes; YOU just need to have the courage to make the trip. A trip that you will never forget!

Well, Sauron (my new name for Iceman)...due to a recent change in family situation...my lovely daughter has moved to Iowa to live with her mother. I spent up most of my vacation time spending time with her over the summer. That leaves me with virtually no vacation time left for such adventures. BUT...there IS a possibility that I will be moving to the Des Moines area...as soon as next year...as late as 2018...or maybe never. That's still up in the air a bit. BUT....if I DID make that horrible move from sunny California to the middle of the country or as I like to call it...America's fat roll...I would be a mere 3 hours away. Certainly within STRIKEing distance (pun intended!). The trick will be you staying alive long enough...so..stay fit, eat healthy, be as stress-free as possible...because as a man...we tend to wear out at about 74 years. Bowling/Golf/Bicycling/etc.. tend to be activities that start disappearing a few years before The End...so that gives me about 4 years to make the move. Or...maybe I come into some money...then I just fly out to Dirtsville/ElmurFuddland...land at the nearest airport...find some local with a donkey to give me a ride over...and BAMM...IT'S ON!!

I must WARN you! My game is not what it used to be when I was a mere mortal……

I think we've ALL improved a bit since last you graced us with your presence.

How many, what date, and what will the prize be! You have nothing to lose but your pride!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT A GOD, ON HIS ON Blessed, consecrated sacred wood lanes?

I personally think Middle of September would work out for me, that’s when we bowled last Aslan on my birthday, Sept 24th, and thanks for that victory, and the cake! I have unfinished business with Mike White, and that coach, what’s his name, Roberto??? Hopefully any and all my biker buddies will show up too!

I'm out until at the earliest next year. I have two vacation days left and need them. I was only able to do it the first time because I was going to Laughlin anyways so I just swung by Vegas on the way. Plus...Vegas is a 3.5 hour drive away (actually more like 5-21 hours depending on traffic).

Will you be victorious? I don't know. MWhite is partially retired (almost accidentally typed in retarded...probably would have just left it cuz that's funny). He and Rob are now even more bitter of enemies than before....without you to kick around. So if you all are in the same place...the universe will likely collapse upon itself....which would be a good thing for Missouri...not so much for me.

Could you beat Mudpuppy? Sure. I don't even think he bowls anymore. I think his wife made him give it up when they had their 13th kid. He hasn't been around for some time. Could you beat me? Maybe...if I have a bad night. Or if it's your birthday and I feel bad for you or something. I thought about letting MWhite win the 2ABHMAVZSCI after he fell down...but I figured he'd learn more from the defeat so I kept the pressure on him. But it's unlikely, especially at your advanced age and condition that you could now defeat Aslan. You're like Darth Vadar...sure, you can beat the crap out of Luke Skywalker in Episode V when he just learned how to use a lightsaber and was trying to fight you in a wind tunnel. But later....in episode VI....no. Or a more appropriate Star Wars analogy...Count Dooku. Sure...he cuts off Anakin's hand in Episode II...but then Anakin easily defeats him at the start of Episode III. The Star Wars history doesn't lie Iceman. You're like Mark Roth trying to beat Sean Rash. Roth is one of the all-time greats...like Iceman...but his was a different time.

I predicted your return. I disagreed with your departure. But if you're going to recruit for a tournament...and build up support to get people out there...you're gonna have to stick around for awhile. I think you'll eventually realize your dream tournament. But not this year. I think (and this is my opinion only...I speak for only myself) that people need to have their FAITH in this GOD restored. Gods aren't supposed to just 'leave' when someone calls them a doo-doo-head. These people, a lot of them new and unfamiliar with the Sauron-like IceGod....only knowing "of" him...these people need to know you're back...for good. I mean, if not...people could show up to Plattsburg for this thing...you get a hot beverage that morning...the girl only puts 7 marshmellows in your cocoa instead of 8...and you end up curled into a ball in your closet crying uncontrollably...unable to bowl. Then what are we supposed to do? Spend the day/evening wandering the hillbilly streets of Plattsburgh hoping we come across cows to tip? I'm not getting cow poo on my shoes. I gotta fly back and cow poo in an enclosed airliner is NOT entertaining.

Welcome back Iceman. Your arch rival and mortal enemy has been a bit bored without you.

Also, I hope I win the week's ball giveaway for THIS post.

[John Anderson]

"Real" bowling happens on any lanes that are certified for use by USBC/ABC/YABA/etc. Technology should be embraced, not discounted as it will not be going away. Wood lanes on the other hand, are mostly a thing of the past. I know you are going to disagree, and that's perfectly okay to have your own opinion.

If the location were in Ohio, I'd be more willing to take on a challenge. I am unable to travel throughout most of the year though, so it's out of the question for me to go to Missouri this year.

[Amyers]

Much like the shadowy being Sauron from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy...he was always mentioned and rumored to be alive...existing yet forgotten yet bound to return...


I'm gonna guess the number of challengers that will attend is close to zero. Maybe 1. And it should not be taken personally. If the question was, "Who would LIKE to come to some Podunk town in the middle of nowhere to bowl against Iceman on some crazy 6-lane house that his nephew's dad's friend runs and sells tackle/bait out the back...I think there might be a lot of "I'd Like to!!" BUT...what we like...and what we actually CAN do...often times...very different things. I'd like Diana Zavtajlova (which I can't spell) to dump that nerdy looking Dave Wodka, move away from that absurd "Beavertown, OH"...and move in with me...to be my lover, friend, bowling coach, and maid...in that order of importance. That's what I WANT....what I CAN GET...is an overweight homeless woman who for $120 will do things in exchange for money she can use to buy drugs. See how there's a wide GAP in terms of "wants" vs "cans"? Believe me....nobody is more upset about it than me!!


Realize, Iceman is Amish so it takes 15 frames to equal 200.


I'm gonna guess nobody. I have the courage and guts....but not the money nor vacation time. Plus, I've seen the "God" in action...and VDub you are NOT!! I mean, If I can take down MWhite in both the 1st annual AND 2nd annual AVZBHMSCI...then beating Iceman isn't gonna be a problem. I went easy on him last time because I wanted Rob to win...and besides...what kinda person humiliates a man on his birthday?? It just didn't seem right. I just waited till the next day, with Rob as a witness, and not only destroyed him at Red Rock...but nearly killed him (he took a terrible tumble...kinda like when MWhite stuck on the approach at the 2AAVZBHMSCI and took a figure skater nosedive...except with Iceman's 66-year-old bones....it was more serious....very touch and go for a few seconds. Hard to get an ambulance in Vegas with all the people being treated for alcohol poisoning. But, fortunately, he survived.


Key word 'could'. Legends 'could' be made of that just like kids 'could' be made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But INSTEAD...you're made of brittle bones and have shown a rather thin skin. I assume you are also held together by chewing gum, peanut butter, and hemp...but that's just a guess. The only thing "legendary" I see is that by disappearing for however many months...you BECAME a legend...because you weren't here.



Well, Sauron (my new name for Iceman)...due to a recent change in family situation...my lovely daughter has moved to Iowa to live with her mother. I spent up most of my vacation time spending time with her over the summer. That leaves me with virtually no vacation time left for such adventures. BUT...there IS a possibility that I will be moving to the Des Moines area...as soon as next year...as late as 2018...or maybe never. That's still up in the air a bit. BUT....if I DID make that horrible move from sunny California to the middle of the country or as I like to call it...America's fat roll...I would be a mere 3 hours away. Certainly within STRIKEing distance (pun intended!). The trick will be you staying alive long enough...so..stay fit, eat healthy, be as stress-free as possible...because as a man...we tend to wear out at about 74 years. Bowling/Golf/Bicycling/etc.. tend to be activities that start disappearing a few years before The End...so that gives me about 4 years to make the move. Or...maybe I come into some money...then I just fly out to Dirtsville/ElmurFuddland...land at the nearest airport...find some local with a donkey to give me a ride over...and BAMM...IT'S ON!!


I think we've ALL improved a bit since last you graced us with your presence.



I'm out until at the earliest next year. I have two vacation days left and need them. I was only able to do it the first time because I was going to Laughlin anyways so I just swung by Vegas on the way. Plus...Vegas is a 3.5 hour drive away (actually more like 5-21 hours depending on traffic).

Will you be victorious? I don't know. MWhite is partially retired (almost accidentally typed in retarded...probably would have just left it cuz that's funny). He and Rob are now even more bitter of enemies than before....without you to kick around. So if you all are in the same place...the universe will likely collapse upon itself....which would be a good thing for Missouri...not so much for me.

Could you beat Mudpuppy? Sure. I don't even think he bowls anymore. I think his wife made him give it up when they had their 13th kid. He hasn't been around for some time. Could you beat me? Maybe...if I have a bad night. Or if it's your birthday and I feel bad for you or something. I thought about letting MWhite win the 2ABHMAVZSCI after he fell down...but I figured he'd learn more from the defeat so I kept the pressure on him. But it's unlikely, especially at your advanced age and condition that you could now defeat Aslan. You're like Darth Vadar...sure, you can beat the crap out of Luke Skywalker in Episode V when he just learned how to use a lightsaber and was trying to fight you in a wind tunnel. But later....in episode VI....no. Or a more appropriate Star Wars analogy...Count Dooku. Sure...he cuts off Anakin's hand in Episode II...but then Anakin easily defeats him at the start of Episode III. The Star Wars history doesn't lie Iceman. You're like Mark Roth trying to beat Sean Rash. Roth is one of the all-time greats...like Iceman...but his was a different time.

I predicted your return. I disagreed with your departure. But if you're going to recruit for a tournament...and build up support to get people out there...you're gonna have to stick around for awhile. I think you'll eventually realize your dream tournament. But not this year. I think (and this is my opinion only...I speak for only myself) that people need to have their FAITH in this GOD restored. Gods aren't supposed to just 'leave' when someone calls them a doo-doo-head. These people, a lot of them new and unfamiliar with the Sauron-like IceGod....only knowing "of" him...these people need to know you're back...for good. I mean, if not...people could show up to Plattsburg for this thing...you get a hot beverage that morning...the girl only puts 7 marshmellows in your cocoa instead of 8...and you end up curled into a ball in your closet crying uncontrollably...unable to bowl. Then what are we supposed to do? Spend the day/evening wandering the hillbilly streets of Plattsburgh hoping we come across cows to tip? I'm not getting cow poo on my shoes. I gotta fly back and cow poo in an enclosed airliner is NOT entertaining.

Welcome back Iceman. Your arch rival and mortal enemy has been a bit bored without you.

Also, I hope I win the week's ball giveaway for THIS post.

Well I think in your case bowling coach should be first and if they gave the ball away for length of post without useful content than you've got it in the bag.