Real Men Bowl on Wood, World Championship ICEMAN OPEN

[MICHAEL]

Much like the shadowy being Sauron from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy...he was always mentioned and rumored to be alive...existing yet forgotten yet bound to return...


I'm gonna guess the number of challengers that will attend is close to zero. Maybe 1. And it should not be taken personally. If the question was, "Who would LIKE to come to some Podunk town in the middle of nowhere to bowl against Iceman on some crazy 6-lane house that his nephew's dad's friend runs and sells tackle/bait out the back...I think there might be a lot of "I'd Like to!!" BUT...what we like...and what we actually CAN do...often times...very different things. I'd like Diana Zavtajlova (which I can't spell) to dump that nerdy looking Dave Wodka, move away from that absurd "Beavertown, OH"...and move in with me...to be my lover, friend, bowling coach, and maid...in that order of importance. That's what I WANT....what I CAN GET...is an overweight homeless woman who for $120 will do things in exchange for money she can use to buy drugs. See how there's a wide GAP in terms of "wants" vs "cans"? Believe me....nobody is more upset about it than me!!


Realize, Iceman is Amish so it takes 15 frames to equal 200.


I'm gonna guess nobody. I have the courage and guts....but not the money nor vacation time. Plus, I've seen the "God" in action...and VDub you are NOT!! I mean, If I can take down MWhite in both the 1st annual AND 2nd annual AVZBHMSCI...then beating Iceman isn't gonna be a problem. I went easy on him last time because I wanted Rob to win...and besides...what kinda person humiliates a man on his birthday?? It just didn't seem right. I just waited till the next day, with Rob as a witness, and not only destroyed him at Red Rock...but nearly killed him (he took a terrible tumble...kinda like when MWhite stuck on the approach at the 2AAVZBHMSCI and took a figure skater nosedive...except with Iceman's 66-year-old bones....it was more serious....very touch and go for a few seconds. Hard to get an ambulance in Vegas with all the people being treated for alcohol poisoning. But, fortunately, he survived.


Key word 'could'. Legends 'could' be made of that just like kids 'could' be made of sugar and spice and everything nice. But INSTEAD...you're made of brittle bones and have shown a rather thin skin. I assume you are also held together by chewing gum, peanut butter, and hemp...but that's just a guess. The only thing "legendary" I see is that by disappearing for however many months...you BECAME a legend...because you weren't here.



Well, Sauron (my new name for Iceman)...due to a recent change in family situation...my lovely daughter has moved to Iowa to live with her mother. I spent up most of my vacation time spending time with her over the summer. That leaves me with virtually no vacation time left for such adventures. BUT...there IS a possibility that I will be moving to the Des Moines area...as soon as next year...as late as 2018...or maybe never. That's still up in the air a bit. BUT....if I DID make that horrible move from sunny California to the middle of the country or as I like to call it...America's fat roll...I would be a mere 3 hours away. Certainly within STRIKEing distance (pun intended!). The trick will be you staying alive long enough...so..stay fit, eat healthy, be as stress-free as possible...because as a man...we tend to wear out at about 74 years. Bowling/Golf/Bicycling/etc.. tend to be activities that start disappearing a few years before The End...so that gives me about 4 years to make the move. Or...maybe I come into some money...then I just fly out to Dirtsville/ElmurFuddland...land at the nearest airport...find some local with a donkey to give me a ride over...and BAMM...IT'S ON!!


I think we've ALL improved a bit since last you graced us with your presence.



I'm out until at the earliest next year. I have two vacation days left and need them. I was only able to do it the first time because I was going to Laughlin anyways so I just swung by Vegas on the way. Plus...Vegas is a 3.5 hour drive away (actually more like 5-21 hours depending on traffic).

Will you be victorious? I don't know. MWhite is partially retired (almost accidentally typed in retarded...probably would have just left it cuz that's funny). He and Rob are now even more bitter of enemies than before....without you to kick around. So if you all are in the same place...the universe will likely collapse upon itself....which would be a good thing for Missouri...not so much for me.

Could you beat Mudpuppy? Sure. I don't even think he bowls anymore. I think his wife made him give it up when they had their 13th kid. He hasn't been around for some time. Could you beat me? Maybe...if I have a bad night. Or if it's your birthday and I feel bad for you or something. I thought about letting MWhite win the 2ABHMAVZSCI after he fell down...but I figured he'd learn more from the defeat so I kept the pressure on him. But it's unlikely, especially at your advanced age and condition that you could now defeat Aslan. You're like Darth Vadar...sure, you can beat the crap out of Luke Skywalker in Episode V when he just learned how to use a lightsaber and was trying to fight you in a wind tunnel. But later....in episode VI....no. Or a more appropriate Star Wars analogy...Count Dooku. Sure...he cuts off Anakin's hand in Episode II...but then Anakin easily defeats him at the start of Episode III. The Star Wars history doesn't lie Iceman. You're like Mark Roth trying to beat Sean Rash. Roth is one of the all-time greats...like Iceman...but his was a different time.

I predicted your return. I disagreed with your departure. But if you're going to recruit for a tournament...and build up support to get people out there...you're gonna have to stick around for awhile. I think you'll eventually realize your dream tournament. But not this year. I think (and this is my opinion only...I speak for only myself) that people need to have their FAITH in this GOD restored. Gods aren't supposed to just 'leave' when someone calls them a doo-doo-head. These people, a lot of them new and unfamiliar with the Sauron-like IceGod....only knowing "of" him...these people need to know you're back...for good. I mean, if not...people could show up to Plattsburg for this thing...you get a hot beverage that morning...the girl only puts 7 marshmellows in your cocoa instead of 8...and you end up curled into a ball in your closet crying uncontrollably...unable to bowl. Then what are we supposed to do? Spend the day/evening wandering the hillbilly streets of Plattsburgh hoping we come across cows to tip? I'm not getting cow poo on my shoes. I gotta fly back and cow poo in an enclosed airliner is NOT entertaining.

Welcome back Iceman. Your arch rival and mortal enemy has been a bit bored without you.

Also, I hope I win the week's ball giveaway for THIS post.

JESUS CHRIST is a very good friend of mine now that I am a God,,, and even he said,, "Jesus Christ, where are the Cliff Notes on this rambling voluminous arrangement of words?"

Yes I am back kitty cat,,,, get ready for some heavenly advise from ICE,,, The bowlingboards.com one and only true god!

(( I did hire TWO college students to actually read all that you typed above, and reduce it to 50 words or less ))

[MICHAEL]

The TWO COLLEGE students just got back with me, reduced the WHOLE dissertation of 10,000 words to just 3

WELCOME BACK ICEMAN!

[Mike White]

The TWO COLLEGE students just got back with me, reduced the WHOLE dissertation of 10,000 words to just 3

WELCOME BACK ICEMAN!

So, you ventured out to a Wood Lane Center with the "Real Men", and you averaged 176?

That doesn't sound very Godlike.

[Tony]

Tony,,,,, Tony,,,, TONY,,, You don't know ICEMAN,,,, I don't know you personally, but if you think you can whip me in a 3 game series bowling I am game. I have looked at your profile,,,, ICE IS READY,,, What is your location???

You seem to think you know THE ICEMAN,,, well ,,,, MANY have made that fatal mistake on the bowling lanes!

No need to check the nursing homes for THE ICE MAN,,,, a man that took up bowling at age 62, after retiring form Iron Work, putting up skyscrapers, Towers, and bridges.... I rolled Two 300 games,,,, within 6 months, the last one with a 782 series a while back. Having been an Iron Worker, I looked death in the eye on a daily bases putting up skyscrapers, connecting the IRON. Its that Cat like balance, and focus, that gives me an EDGE on normal people like you.

WHAT is your high game and series tony?

I have had many, and the GOD's know, almost 300 games since,,, 279's, 280's,, even a 298 I do have my off days mainly because of lane conditions, and crappy oil do to malfunctioning oil machines. Its NEVER THE ICEMAN! That's what screws up my average.

I do have Feeling Tony, and when you type things about ICEMAN THE GOD, it hurts beyond what you could even imagine!

NOT REALLY.....

I can be your GOOD friend as a GOD,,,, or I can leave your prayers unanswered, and send many 7/10 splits, and ring ten pins your way. unless your left handed, in which case it will be 7's!!!

It's up to you Tony?

God knows me well, he knows where I live, the kind of truck I drive and my high game and average!
God knows if I'm right, left handed, or ambidextrous.

Above all he knows I am not just an average normal person and he has not had to rescue me from sky scrapers or tall tree's .... as I have yet to make a fatal mistake.

I will consider whipping you in a 3 game series, but you will have none of my prayers to answer as I have a direct fiber connection to the God Icloud.....and it's not in the KC area or even close.

I am an expert at diagnosing problems and finding solutions and I still maintain a cocktail of anti-psychotic drugs and some intensive therapy will help your condition .....but you will probably never be back to normal, if you ever were.

Yes, I realize everything is up to me.

BTW, Maple is for baseball bats, God created synthetic lanes to save it for where it's really needed.

[mc_runner]

Good to see you back!

[MICHAEL]

So, you ventured out to a Wood Lane Center with the "Real Men", and you averaged 176?

That doesn't sound very Godlike.

Mike, man that is still a mere mortal, I will reply to your sarcastic sentence. The lanes were pretty beat up, it was the end of their 3 year life expectancy! They just resurfaced the lanes, and they are PERFECT,,, now. Tried them out last week, had a much more stable roll, and several low 200's...

They also put a different pattern down every week last season ,,,, sometimes a long 42, sometimes a short pattern, we never knew what pattern or length till the day of.

That added to the fact that it needed to be refinished.......

This year I will start posting my fantastic series/games. Why bother to post average crap....

I have this ability to FLY with the eagles, or sink to the lower levels of the ocean.

I have been ask Bowling God,,, how can you Bowl a 300, with a 782 series, and then bowl a 486.

My reply is always, **** happens!!

I looked into the future and I see another 300, and that 800, this YEAR!

MIKE,,,,GRRRRRRR,,,, I want YOU on my WOOD,,,,,,,,,, LOL,,, WOOD LANES!!
Had to clarify that, you being form CA, and all.

This is going to be one of the best bowling Years I have had in my short time bowling. Wait and SEE The God's know the future, and its looking GOOD!

[MICHAEL]

God knows me well, he knows where I live, the kind of truck I drive and my high game and average!
God knows if I'm right, left handed, or ambidextrous.

Above all he knows I am not just an average normal person and he has not had to rescue me from sky scrapers or tall tree's .... as I have yet to make a fatal mistake.

I will consider whipping you in a 3 game series, but you will have none of my prayers to answer as I have a direct fiber connection to the God Icloud.....and it's not in the KC area or even close.

I am an expert at diagnosing problems and finding solutions and I still maintain a cocktail of anti-psychotic drugs and some intensive therapy will help your condition .....but you will probably never be back to normal, if you ever were.

speaking of baseball bats, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM THERE ROYALS!!!!!!!!!!


Yes, I realize everything is up to me.

BTW, Maple is for baseball bats, God created synthetic lanes to save it for where it's really needed.

I KNOW ALL Tony I am a Bowlingball.com GOD..... I am looking forward to bowling you, along with any, and all that want to bowl a GOD! Maple is not only for baseball bats, but for pancakes! And after we bowl, you go home from the pristine lanes of Plattsburg Missouri, flat-as-a pancake! I OWE the 6 wood lanes in Plattsburg

OOOOOOO What I would give to have Roberto (from Vegas), Mike White, Aslan, and you for a couple hours on the beautiful reconditioned lanes of Plattsburg Missouri...

Is Mudpuppy still around, he and I need to do a bike adventure some time in the near future... I was Born to Bowl, and Ride!

Some say the Garden of Eden was on the SAME exact SPOT as the Plattsburg lanes...

[Tony]

I KNOW ALL Tony I am a Bowlingball.com GOD..... I am looking forward to bowling you, along with any, and all that want to bowl a GOD! Maple is not only for baseball bats, but for pancakes! And after we bowl, you go home from the pristine lanes of Plattsburg Missouri, flat-as-a pancake! I OWE the 6 wood lanes in Plattsburg

OOOOOOO What I would give to have Roberto (from Vegas), Mike White, Aslan, and you for a couple hours on the beautiful reconditioned lanes of Plattsburg Missouri...

Is Mudpuppy still around, he and I need to do a bike adventure some time in the near future... I was Born to Bowl, and Ride!

Some say the Garden of Eden was on the SAME exact SPOT as the Plattsburg lanes...

The Royals are the third best team in Missouri, behind the St Louis and Springfield Cardinals !
Don't you remember, I was born in the great city of St Louis !

I know it's tough to keep track of all these little things but please remember only the syrup goes on the pancakes, not the actual wood or wood shavings !

One of those 3 wheel granny bikes would be ideal, it would let you haul all your bowling equipment, and keep the roads a little safer. Add a GPS and you might even find your way home !

The way the story was told, in the Garden of Eden, just the serpent was from Plattsburg ....

[got_a_300]

Hehehehe, glad to see you back Iceman I've really missed all those little
banter post and the quips between you and the others on here. I'm not
sure if I can make it this time or not but would still love to come over to
those wood lanes sometime to bowl you.

I was really looking forward to bowling in the June tournament but not
all that sure if I could make a September tournament or not but will try
to work on making it.

[Aslan]

Not true. Billf, who made two posts on August 4th of this year, is still listed as a "Bowling God".

Asgard, Olympus, or where ever it is one moves to when one becomes a bowling god must have really poor internet service to account for the drop off in posting Iceman and Bill.

Yeah, word is in Olympus that BillF posted twice and won a ball so he stopped posting.

Well…until BillF starts posting as often as that Sara girl…which is only like 15 times a year…he's only an 'honorary God'…like the celebrities that get degrees from colleges they never went to.

I'm gonna pass both those clowns. All I gotta do is get them both in a thread together and Iceman will call him a liar and he'll call Iceman a 7th grader and they'll both disappear for 8 months. Giving me the perfect amount of time to hit 10,000 posts…which just as a hint to the site…I WILL expect some really super special signature or like a special icon or something. Something that makes everyone on the site jealous. So…start thinking now Administrator!