Real Men Bowl on Wood, World Championship ICEMAN OPEN

[Aslan]

I ask Aslan if he wanted us to take up a collection, but he said that he was too proud to accept money,

Well, that IS true...I'm not one for charity. Besides. I'd feel like a politician taking donations from people that I'm pretty sure make far less money annually than I do.

But just for S&Gs...this is the approximate COST of sending Aslan to Plattsburg, MO for this epic bowling event:

Airfare: $366
Baggage/Fees: $450
Hotel: $102
Rental Car: $76
Airport Parking: $60

TOTAL: $1054.00

So, even though BB.com has probably a million members...only about 30 of them post regularly. That is roughly $35/person. And my personal opinion is, each of you should use that $35 to get a bowling lesson and improve your game...NOT send Aslan to a Deliverance type situation where he's going to get sexually assaulted by hillbillies. Wait...I'm thinking of West Virginia. Okay, then it's more like sending Aslan to get killed in racial rioting...which is only slightly better than the fits option.

A cheaper/better option is...I stay with Iceman, he is my chaffeur during my stay..but that only saves like $178...which is just barely over what I'd GLADLY pay to not hear strange noises coming from Mr. and Mrs. Iceman's bedroom nor see Iceman doing nude Yoga or something like that.

The biggest cost is shipping 4 bowling balls. I looked at the USBC Open in El Paso and it was cheaper to drive then to fly, even at higher gas prices and having to pay for a hotel on the way there and back...because the cost of shipping bowling balls, even at the USBC discounted rate, is so absurd. If I HAD to go to Plattsburg...and I had to foot the bill...I'd just bring my Grandpa's old urethane ball and bowl with that one ball...but whats the point? I'd score in the 120s-140s with a urethane ball not drilled to fit my hand.

Ya know what...next time I practice...I'll bring the ole Columbia Blue Knight out of retirement and toss a couple games...see what happens. It WOULD be even sweeter a victory to win with my Grandpa's ball AND to walk into that tournament and beat every single participant using a 30 year old ball. Heck, Storm would probably send the Pinkertons to Plattsburg to assassinate me so the story didn't get out.

[MICHAEL]

Well, that IS true...I'm not one for charity. Besides. I'd feel like a politician taking donations from people that I'm pretty sure make far less money annually than I do.

But just for S&Gs...this is the approximate COST of sending Aslan to Plattsburg, MO for this epic bowling event:

Airfare: $366
Baggage/Fees: $450
Hotel: $102
Rental Car: $76
Airport Parking: $60

TOTAL: $1054.00

So, even though BB.com has probably a million members...only about 30 of them post regularly. That is roughly $35/person. And my personal opinion is, each of you should use that $35 to get a bowling lesson and improve your game...NOT send Aslan to a Deliverance type situation where he's going to get sexually assaulted by hillbillies. Wait...I'm thinking of West Virginia. Okay, then it's more like sending Aslan to get killed in racial rioting...which is only slightly better than the fits option.

A cheaper/better option is...I stay with Iceman, he is my chaffeur during my stay..but that only saves like $178...which is just barely over what I'd GLADLY pay to not hear strange noises coming from Mr. and Mrs. Iceman's bedroom nor see Iceman doing nude Yoga or something like that.

The biggest cost is shipping 4 bowling balls. I looked at the USBC Open in El Paso and it was cheaper to drive then to fly, even at higher gas prices and having to pay for a hotel on the way there and back...because the cost of shipping bowling balls, even at the USBC discounted rate, is so absurd. If I HAD to go to Plattsburg...and I had to foot the bill...I'd just bring my Grandpa's old urethane ball and bowl with that one ball...but whats the point? I'd score in the 120s-140s with a urethane ball not drilled to fit my hand.

Ya know what...next time I practice...I'll bring the ole Columbia Blue Knight out of retirement and toss a couple games...see what happens. It WOULD be even sweeter a victory to win with my Grandpa's ball AND to walk into that tournament and beat every single participant using a 30 year old ball. Heck, Storm would probably send the Pinkertons to Plattsburg to assassinate me so the story didn't get out.

Fist off its time to go to online dating, and look for chicks in the Kansas City Missouri area, or better yet Plattsburg! Find one, both of you fall in love, and Walla!!!

Why would you have airport parking, don't you have a friend that could take you to the airport???

As I remember Muddpuppy only had ONE fricken ball and was kicking some serious ask for the first 3 or 4 games,,, until we move to the other side of the alley. Is he a better man then YOU, LION MAN??? I think so, but that's beside the point, you are the KING OF WOOD!!! Right!?

Start saving your money!!! I am renting the place for 3 to 4 hours,,,, but if need be I will foot the bill for the entire afternoon and evening!

The part I like is that we can vote, and even change the oil! The friends that run the place said they would be happy to put down what ever pattern we want, even different patterns on different lanes in pairs,,, remember there is 6 lanes.

As far as staying at my place, FORGET-ABOUT-IT!!! Not-a- going - to -happen! You can come over, visit, maybe shoot some pool, play my hokey game, WII bowl or even try out my newest game I purchased today, shuffle board! I fear that if I were to let you stay at my place, YOU could turn into a permanent fixture!!

Yes mudpuppy I now have my own shuffle board in my MAN CAVE!! In fact Most of you would be invited to my place, (not far from the airport), to play games ect after the bowling.

JUST imagine yourself being the firs to bowl a 300 game on these beautiful wood Lanes! The wood they used for these lanes came from the enchanted forest of Sherwood England. Magic works for those that know how to unleash its powers!! Picture of my friend, yes I have a few, Gene,,, I believe he had a best game 284 that day on the lanes, while iceman only had a 254. I have had a few good games on the wood, but believe me my average is MUCH lower their then on the synthetic lanes.

That's why ICEMAN has respect for you Aslan! You know how to light up the wood lanes... its your play ground!

[Aslan]

Why would you have airport parking, don't you have a friend that could take you to the airport???

No, not really.

Thanks for reminding me though.

We'll see Ice. Tonight didn't go so well so we're back a 3% chance. In the words of the Coach from the movie "The Hammer"; "it's a long way to go just to get your *** kicked."

[Mike White]

Why would you have airport parking, don't you have a friend that could take you to the airport???

The problem isn't getting some to take him to the airport, but finding someone to pick him up when he returns.

[MICHAEL]

No, not really.

Thanks for reminding me though.

We'll see Ice. Tonight didn't go so well so we're back a 3% chance. In the words of the Coach from the movie "The Hammer"; "it's a long way to go just to get your *** kicked."

YOUR NOT LION, are you,,,,,,,, about the scores,,,,,, just to kitty cat out of making this great adventure to small town USA bowling??

[Aslan]

The problem isn't getting some to take him to the airport, but finding someone to pick him up when he returns.

That's quite true. And well played.

[Mudpuppy]

You should be a politician Aslan. Not sure about how your $1,054 numbers add up. Now if you were to pad it with beer money I could buy in. But you tried to hide it in baggage fees and therefore lost credibility. Don't worry bro. We know you won't be in KC for the greatest bowling world championship of all time. But sooner or later the Ice and MP biker gang, 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000001%ers, will ride into california like a tsunami and take you down on your home turf.

[Mike White]

You should be a politician Aslan. Not sure about how your $1,054 numbers add up. Now if you were to pad it with beer money I could buy in. But you tried to hide it in baggage fees and therefore lost credibility. Don't worry bro. We know you won't be in KC for the greatest bowling world championship of all time. But sooner or later the Ice and MP biker gang, 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000001%ers, will ride into california like a tsunami and take you down on your home turf.

They tore out his home "turf" now he has to bowl on normal appearing lanes.

[Aslan]

You should be a politician Aslan. Not sure about how your $1,054 numbers add up. Now if you were to pad it with beer money I could buy in. But you tried to hide it in baggage fees and therefore lost credibility. Don't worry bro. We know you won't be in KC for the greatest bowling world championship of all time. But sooner or later the Ice and MP biker gang, 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000001%ers, will ride into california like a tsunami and take you down on your home turf.

Look it up. Delta Airlines baggage fees. $25 for one bag (clothes) and $200 for a 75lb checked bag containing my bowling balls. There and back = $450.

Besides, the OFFICIAL tournament is the 1st Annual Aslan vs. Iceman Challenge. That challenge was won my Mr. R. Mautner. Per the rules and by laws of that tournament...the WINNER gets to decide where the 2nd Annual Aslan vs. Iceman Challenge is to occur roughly 1 year after the 1st annual event concludes. That means, it is up to the CHAMPION to decide on a venue of HIS CHOOSING (or her should that ever come into play)...to occur sometime around late June 2015 to early January 2016.

The Plattsburg hillbilly farmer tournament is merely a SPINOFF of the REAL tournament. It's like that show "A Different World" that was a lousy spinoff of "The Cosby Show". Or how "Facts of Life" was a somewhat entertaining spinoff of "Different Strokes". It's cute and all...but there is only ONE official tournament...and ONE winner. And since that winner was NOT Iceman (he finished 4th out of 5)...Iceman doesn't really have the luxury of scheduling the next venue.

Now, even if ROB decides to placate Iceman and agree to Plattsburg...there's only 1 problem. Since Rob is the champion...and the tournament is named after me and Iceman....the by laws of said tournament state that for it to be truly official, at LEAST TWO of the 3 of us must be present. And IF Rob (the champion) WERE to choose Plattsburg...given he CHOSE it...he'd HAVE TO GO. Otherwise the champion could choose a bowling alley in Alaska just to make it impossible.

So, long story long...for Mudpuppy's benefit...the OFFICAL event is up to Rob...sometime around late September 2015ish...and at a new USBC stadium (hint hint) of HIS CHOOSING. Or, perhaps Sam's Town. But it doesn't matter I want. I lost Round 1...and now must patiently await Rob, in his greatness and glory, to choose the next location. That is why this is NOT the 2nd Annual Aslan vs. Iceman Challenge and is instead the "Real Men Bowl on Wood World Championship"...otherwise there would be serious trademark issues.

[vdubtx]

Look it up. Delta Airlines baggage fees. $25 for one bag (clothes) and $200 for a 75lb checked bag containing my bowling balls. There and back = $450.

Never hear of Southwest Airlines?

Split balls up so they are under 50lbs each bag, check 2 in $0.00.

Carry on a 2 ball tote, $0.00.

Boom! Just saved you $450.

I did my 4 ball bag which splits into 2 ball bags going to Reno the last 2 years.
Also carried on a 2 ball tote along with my backpack.