I'm never helping old people ever again!!

[Aslan]

I bowl on Wednesdays with this great older guy, vietnam vet, must be close to if not past 70. Typical older guy release with very little leg speed, very little knee bend, and a ball speed that ranges from 6.5-11.5mph.

What I love about this guy is…he's DEDICATED to bowling…I mean he LOVES to bowl. He bowls in like 8-9 different leagues…he has about 16 bowling balls in his car and brings at least 8 every night. He just loves the sport…and I respect that.

The PROBLEM is…he has no idea what he's doing. He switches balls like he's at an appetizer buffet…he has horrible equipment in terms of matching to his style. But MOST OF ALL….he WILL NOT LISTEN…to ANYTHING or ANYONE EVER!!!

Today's attempt at coaching:
Me: "Okay, you went brooklyn, what move are you going to make?"
Him: "Well, I switched balls…and that didn't work…so I moved right."

Me: "Why would you move right?"
Him: "Cuz that way I got more area to get to the pocket."

Me: "How bout try this….next shot, throw the same ball as you missed Brooklyn with…but make a 3 board move LEFT with your feet and a…"
Him: (interrupting) "No, no, no….that won't work….then my ball skids through the middle…"
Me: "Yeah…its supposed to….thats what we WANT it to do."

So, to make a long story short…even after drawing him a picture…and explaining to him what a THS oil pattern looks like…and even touching on more advanced concepts like the fact that when he DOES miss right…it's because he's SO FAR RIGHT…that his ball enters the roll phase at about the 40ft mark…he STILL wouldn't listen. He just switched balls. He said he was trying different "hand positions" to fix the issue.



Ughhh….I was reluctant to help him…because old people (no offense) tend to not like to learn "new tricks"…and this guy is more in that mindset than most of his peers…but for crying out loud….it's annoying as hell(o) to hear him complain endlessly that the lanes are too dry and he has to bowl with his plastic ball…yet there is a SIMPLE SOLUTION…that with just a smidge of understanding of bowling (because I only have a "smidge" to offer)…he could fix it.

This is why I can't be a coach.

Me: "Try doing this."
Me: "No, that wasn't at all what I said to do…you want to do THIS."
Me: "Again….totally NOT what I said to do….how bout you do it this way…?"
Me: "For ****S SAKE! Am I talking to myself? Are you a ghost? Do you speak English!? Are you from the planet Earth? Do you suffer from low blood sugar? I mean, WHAT is the reason that when I say do X….you interpret that to mean do Y? Are you ****ing with me!!?"

rant over

[Amyers]

Been there done that. You can take the horse to the river but you can't make him drink. Beating the horse with a stick is always an option but then you have to walk back. Sometimes I think it might me worth it.

[HowDoIHookAgain]

Sounds so much like a kid that I bowl with on the school team and a winter league. This kid must get a new ball every 2 weeks. He's a pro shop's dream, because he's dumping at least $150 into a new ball every two weeks. Two kids on the team last year tried to help him with one of his major problems; when he releases the ball, he rotates himself 90 degrees so his foot points to his right, throws his arm all the way out to his right, and hopes that he gets a strike. Or, in some cases, he hopes it lands on his lane (there have been a few times where the ball has landed on another set of lanes). And then he has the audacity to blame it on his ball, hence why he gets a new ball every 2 weeks.

Back to the story, the kids must have spent the whole practice (about 2 hours) trying to fix his problems, but mostly his turning issue. It became pretty apparent he wasn't going to listen anytime soon, so after the practice, they never really gave him advice again, only when he was doing something SERIOUSLY wrong. Even our coach was like "he's hopeless" after a while.

So Aslan, you are not alone with this problem. Stubborn bowlers will remain stubborn as long as they bowl. I suppose the old saying holds true; you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink!

[John Anderson]

This is the perfect reason as to why some people are not coaches and some people shouldn't waste their money going to coaches. If you cannot take criticism and advice from others, you cannot improve your own skills.

In order to improve, you have to actually be coach-able. Some people are. Some people are not.

[RobLV1]

Aslan: There are a few lessons here for you. First, unless someone pays you to give them a lesson, don't bother because they are not going to listen to unsolicitated advice. Second, because you spend a lot of time here and think about bowling a lot does not make you a coach. Personally, I think you would make a pretty good one, but you need some training like everyone else who wants to coach. Finally, as one of those "old people" that you refer to, I can tell you from a whole lot of experience that I see just as much of the "new tricks" mentality in young people as I do from the old farts of which I am one.

[Amyers]

Aslan: There are a few lessons here for you. First, unless someone pays you to give them a lesson, don't bother because they are not going to listen to unsolicitated advice. Second, because you spend a lot of time here and think about bowling a lot does not make you a coach. Personally, I think you would make a pretty good one, but you need some training like everyone else who wants to coach. Finally, as one of those "old people" that you refer to, I can tell you from a whole lot of experience that I see just as much of the "new tricks" mentality in young people as I do from the old farts of which I am one.

I will agree it's not just he aged that have this issue I see it from all age groups and myself included at times. If I had a nickel for everytime someone told me I had ___ issue and I though no I don't only later to discover oh yeah I'd be rich.

I will disagree on one point it doesn't take a certified coach to help someone understand that having 5 heavy oil balls may not be the best choice, where to generally play on the lane adjustment wise, or that switching balls on every other shot is counterproductive.

As far as Aslan's frustration with him it depends on weather his advice was solicited or unsolicited. If the guy asked for help and refuses to listen then yes I might be frustrated too. If he didn't then Aslan has no reason to be frustrated at that point it's only his opinion and we all know what opinions are like.

[mc_runner]

I genuinely try not to give unsolicited advice even if its super obvious... because if someone wants help they'll ask. If its a total beginner who's looking for pointers or is really into it (and wants to know more) it's not bad to give a few basic pointers. It IS hard not to say something sometimes though.

[ALazySavage]

Aslan, some people will simply just not listen to advice, it happens but it could be worse. One of the bowlers on our team will come to us asking for advice on lane play or physical adjustments (don't worry Rob, we have a certified coach on the team), we provide our opinion on what is occurring and then the person gets mad at the advice that we are providing.

[djp1080]

I can relate to your comments Aslan and the guy who has plenty of equipment to choose from. I've bought my share of gear myself and I've learned a lot as a result.
Just a couple of days ago I tried one of the techniques Rob has been preaching for quite sometime now. I decided that I wanted to roll my ball over board 14 or 15 to get to the pocket. I thought that maybe I should use the 2-1 move to get there, but then again I thought that would be too much. I thought that a 1-1 move might be better. So I just decided that I should have the center of my slide foot end up on board 28. My ball was rolling over board 14 at the arrows and had my line on shot #1! Not bad for an old guy. Thanks Rob! Later I tried targeting board 14 instead of the range finders and I ended up having to move out to board 13 instead. Still happy with the results.
I was using an IQ Tour Nano and I've found that it's an oil sponge. I'll likely have to get the oil out of it every four or five weeks to keep it working well.
I'm a retired Navy Chief and served during Viet Nam era, but luckily didn't have to serve there even though I volunteered for it. I guess I'm a little more open minded than the fellow you were bowling with... Good luck with that!

[manke]

Aslan did the guy ask for your help? If he didn't maybe thats why he didn't follow your instructions.