Jess,
A couple questions about your physical ability that may shed some light for those who want to try and help. First question, you talk significantly about the struggles with grip pressure - what does the flexibility in your wrist look like - both cupping and lateral movement? Second, how would you describe your hip mobility - specifically in regards to your ability to complete a cross over step?
With the description above I wouldn't really be comfortable giving advice without a minimum of a video from a few different angles - and even at that point I would be very cautious. My biggest concern on this front is that through the internet you are not going to be able to have a shot by shot exchange with someone to discuss how changes feel and if they are being conducted properly. Reading the issue you describe (chicken winging the ball) a potentially popular assumption of what you are doing is either (a) you are swinging the ball around your body rather than walking around your ball path (causing the inconsistent ball path) or (b) you have a lot of subconscious cues in your bowling and one of those is as you need to get the ball down the lane you are coming around it more (in which the chicken wing allows you to get to the side of the ball more). My caution for you specifically is that you have some physical concerns that at this point priority number 1 is making sure you do not make these worse in an attempt to guess what could improve your game at this point - there is a lot of information on the internet (some good and some bad) and much of it is very general and not specific to the bowler.
Hopefully you will be able to find someone local who is qualified to help you out - 43 is an early age to cause some additional, and potentially permanent, damage especially in bowling where you could easily have 30 - 40 more years to enjoy the game.
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