Don't create high expectations

[Motiv Girl]

How do you help sports kids set goals that don't create high
expectations? Wait a minute, you may ask. The whole process of
setting goals creates expectations!

Read on to understand the critical difference between setting
goals and creating high expectations in youth sports.

This is a big challenge for parents, coaches and young athletes.
Too often, kids confuse goals with expectations. They then set
high expectations for themselves and get frustrated when they
don't achieve them.

This is a mental game no-no. You don't want your athletes to do
this. It hurts their confidence and undermines their performance.

Yes, you do want kids to establish goals. But they need to
understand that they can modify their goals. They should be
flexible. Kids need to view goal-setting as a process.

We recently talked to J. Parker Adair about this topic. He's a
coach and former semi-pro athlete who started a high school
lacrosse program and has run programs for athletes who range from
pre-schoolers to high schoolers.

Goals give kids a purpose, he says. They motivate them to try
hard and be passionate about their sport.

To help kids avoid working toward goals in ways that create
unhealthy expectations, Adair focuses on looking at goals as a
step-by-step process. Focusing on mini-goals is key.

"I tell them to focus on little things—maybe like changing their
stance or position. Fix that one thing, For example, let's keep
our eyes out when going to pass. Don't look at the ground. Now,
when you have that down, start looking at one player. If he's
open, then pass to him. It's really a building block technique."

We agree that helping kids establish mini goals is important. You
want them to concentrate on goals that will help them stay
grounded in the present. These are immediate, day-to-day goals.
You don't want them thinking about the score or the win all the
time.

Some examples: Play one shot at a time. Stay in the process.
Focus on one point at a time. While you're setting these goals,
don't forget to include mental game goals. For example, ask kids
to let go of mistakes quickly and focus on the next play.

This kind of goal-setting yields many benefits. Such goals help
kids stay grounded in the moment. When they're playing in the
moment and not worrying about the score or the win, they're more
likely to take the essential risks needed to help them grow as
athletes.

Patrick Cohn, Ph.D and Lisa Cohn

[Coach 3G]

There are some great takeaways from the post, but I think the title "don't create high expectations" is misleading, and it says read on to understand the difference between expectations and goals. I'm not sure the article does a good job of explaining the difference and I'm not sure I clearly understand the risks of setting high expectations.

All of the greats have had high expectations for themselves and though frustrating when you don't meet those expectations I'm not sure having those high standards are a liability. I still think after reading the article I'd consider them an asset.

That said I do believe goal setting is key and that your behaviors have to match those goals. Goals are only unrealistic if you aren't doing the appropriate things to put you on a path to achieve them.

[Motiv Girl]

It’s a great idea to set goals for sports kids. Goal-setting helps improve kids’ motivation and commitment, helps them stay focused on what to accomplish, helps them assess their strengths and weaknesses, and track their performance.

Parents and coaches can help kids set goals. They need to establish:

1. Long-term or dream goals,

2. Intermediate,

3. Short-term, and

4. Immediate–or what we call process goals.

This last group helps kids stay grounded in the moment, which is critical to building confidence.

Kids need to take a multi-disciplinary approach to improving. They can set many different goals beyond improving their performance or scoring goals. Young athletes can set practice goals, mental game goals, fitness goals and nutrition goals.

Ideally, young athletes, with their parents’ support, will work with their coaches to establish their goals and objectives. It’s critical for parents, coaches and young athletes to be on the same page when it comes to goal-setting.

Always include an important warning when talking about setting goals. Kids shouldn’t over-do it. Perfectionists will set goals and see them as a task to master. This can burn them out. Instead, they need to see goals as general guidelines that can be evaluated and changed.

The key,start slowly.

If the child enjoys the sport, it’s a good idea to focus on the importance of working hard. But that doesn’t mean micro-managing the child’s experience.That’s where the delicate balance between supporting and pressuring comes in.


For example, you should set high, yet attainable goals for your kids and offer them opportunities to fulfill their potential. Focus on small improvements. These small improvements will help kids feel successful.

Not everyone is Jerry Rice.Watch his NFL Hall of Fame Speech.His success was based on fear of failure.