Whether it comes to bowling, schooling, or anything else your kids do, the most important thing you can do is encourage them to do their best.
It doesn't matter if that means getting a c- in Algebra or breaking 100 in bowling or whatever, if that's their best then let them know how proud you are of them, and if it's not their best then challenge them to do better. I have an adorable little step-son who has severe ADHD and is at times a little holy terror because of it. He simply can't help it at this point. We're working on getting him treatment for it but in the meanwhile we just encourage him to do his best. Right now, that means comimg home from Kindergarten with a daily progress report that has more smiles than frowns on it - he gets a smile for doing good in an activity, a straight face for doing so-so and a frown whenever he misbehaves or doesn't participate. 5 or more smiles on the daily report means he gets to have a treat from the local convenience store on the way home. It's working well so far and just about each day he makes progress. If we were to yell at him all the time and make him feel stupid then I have no doubts the opposite would happen and things would get worse.
Another thing to remember is that parenting is not something you have to do alone. There are plenty of support groups, resources and educational materials out there to help you cope with just about anything your kids will throw at you. If you're yelling at your child more often than not, you need help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. After all, this is your kid we're talking about here. They deserve the best, right?
Good thread.
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