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Thread: Let me state the obvious here: NO CHILD ..

  1. #11
    Bowling God billf's Avatar
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    Bowling is one thing I can share with my daughter. I didn't teach it to her, her taught me. I tool the basics she taught me and transformed into a decent bowler. Now she comes to me for advice and I still go to her for bowling matters.
    Parenting; this is going to sound crazy but the Drill Sargent Academy taught me how to be a parent. Not the yelling and screaming part. But the part where they taught us to make the punishment creative. This is of course only after making sure they know what is expected, exactly. Then be consistent. If curfew is 9:00pm then you have to have a punishment if she comes home at 9:01pm. Know where your limit is and have them believe you're at that point when you reach half that. That keeps you from ever reaching your breaking point.
    The temper issue is one I have been dealing with all my life. It's nowhere near as bad as when I was younger. Leaving the Army definitely helped with that but also realizing that wasn't the person I wanted to be. That I was better than that and that I could learn to control it. Although the Army capitalized on my temper for their purposes, they also gave me the self-esteem I never had before then. You will make mistakes, it's part of being human. Just try to recognize them quickly, don't compound them or repeat them. Wanting to be a good dad is the first step.
    Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!
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  2. #12
    Ringer AZBowla's Avatar
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    Whether it comes to bowling, schooling, or anything else your kids do, the most important thing you can do is encourage them to do their best.

    It doesn't matter if that means getting a c- in Algebra or breaking 100 in bowling or whatever, if that's their best then let them know how proud you are of them, and if it's not their best then challenge them to do better. I have an adorable little step-son who has severe ADHD and is at times a little holy terror because of it. He simply can't help it at this point. We're working on getting him treatment for it but in the meanwhile we just encourage him to do his best. Right now, that means comimg home from Kindergarten with a daily progress report that has more smiles than frowns on it - he gets a smile for doing good in an activity, a straight face for doing so-so and a frown whenever he misbehaves or doesn't participate. 5 or more smiles on the daily report means he gets to have a treat from the local convenience store on the way home. It's working well so far and just about each day he makes progress. If we were to yell at him all the time and make him feel stupid then I have no doubts the opposite would happen and things would get worse.

    Another thing to remember is that parenting is not something you have to do alone. There are plenty of support groups, resources and educational materials out there to help you cope with just about anything your kids will throw at you. If you're yelling at your child more often than not, you need help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. After all, this is your kid we're talking about here. They deserve the best, right?

    Good thread.

  3. #13

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    Well put. I used to play baseball my whole life and my dad always pushed me and was trying to make me something that I wasn't. The sport wasn't fun anymore and got really boring. It just got so stress full and I just quit. Now that I am starting up bowling I try to have him at my lessons very little. When he's there I just get stressed and cant even break 70! I want this sport to last and be fun!

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