HELP FIND ASLAN a WOMAN!!

[MICHAEL]

Please apply here, picture would be nice, if you enjoy bowling and have an average above 97 that would be a huge plus!
He is looking for a real hot looking woman that might be a Bronze level or above bowling coach! If not that's not a big deal, but you must be Great Eye Candy! APPLY HERE.....................

[tccstudent]

well I checked the Storm ladies bowlers and I found one in Phoenix that her bio did not mention being married and I think she is hot and she is a coach.
http://www.stormbowling.com/img/bowlers/386/medium.jpg
http://www.stormbowling.com/athlete/ladies/386

[dnhoffman]

I think you might be better off starting a Kickstarter campaign for this to raise money instead.

Because let's face it: you're going to have to pay someone.

[classygranny]

Ummm....I think Tina might be out of his "league". No pun intended.

[MICHAEL]

A good picture of you for the women that might be interested in a stud-muffin-of-a bowler!! This is you chance to fix ONE part of your life that needs help, AND maybe even an other!

Why am I doing this,,, because you have become almost a step son to me, with SPECIAL NEEDS!

I know you have a deep void in your love department, and I think THIS MIGHT JUST WORK! Make it a good picture, who knows how many beautiful women bowling coaches with Bronze level or maybe even HIGHER, (might jump at a chance to have a dream date with you!) (picture love boat music playing in the back ground while reading this thread)!

P.S. This is it,,,, This is the time,,,,, Lets get you a woman that can be your half that's missing!

Women out there send your pictures, and reasons whey you think your good enough for The Lion,,, Aslan of bowlingboards.com!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew92Rtwkg5E

[Aslan]

well I checked the Storm ladies bowlers and I found one in Phoenix that her bio did not mention being married and I think she is hot and she is a coach.
http://www.stormbowling.com/img/bowlers/386/medium.jpg
http://www.stormbowling.com/athlete/ladies/386

I'm gonna just say…despite the top-40/90s musical baggage…I'm giving tCC MAD props for this pick!! I would almost drive to Pheonix once every couple weeks to date her. Well played TCC…a FINE choice.

[Aslan]

A good picture of you for the women that might be interested in a stud-muffin-of-a bowler!!

Can't you just use one of the videos I posted. I hate posting pics of me on here because half the time I can't figure it out and I don't want to you use imageshack because then a picture of me is "out there" in cyberspace. And Lord knows that the real reason you want it is to photoshop the **** out of it and post it and make fun of me. I have 3 sets of videos on here…all recent…all a good representative of what I look like. If thats not enough…I'm planning on making another set of videos next Friday so I can get noeymc and everyone to offer their critiques.

And if that REALLY isn't enough and you need a picture; I'll try to upload one.

I would fire back at doff and Granny…but in all honesty…they are making good points. Of my 30-40 sexual partners…I think all but 10 required financial compensation. And most of the other ones required at least a moderate amount of alcohol. So Iceman…you're probably going to hit that elusive 800 series before this project bears fruit. But just to play along…all interested ladies should apply with the following criteria in mind:

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
2) I weigh 215. So, you need to weigh less than that.
3) I'm cutting off the age at 54. There is no lower limit, but women don't age well. Don't blame me! Blame God. Believe me, I wish you gals got hotter with age…it would make walking around on the beach with 19-21 year olds running around not so damn frustrating. But it is what it is.
4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
5) You need to be very sexual. I'm not talking weird…but if you're a gal that has weird issues with being molested as a child or you have some weird guilt stuff going on….Aslan requires sex on an almost daily basis…so prudes need not apply. And disease free is a must!
6) You need to be fun.
7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store".
9) I'm setting the kid limit at 2. If you have more than 2 kids…then you better be dang hot and dang rich. More than 3 kids…can't do it. College tuition is too high these days.
10) No cats. If you're super hot…I'll maybe give in on ONE cat. Dogs are okay. But if your house/apartment smells like pet urine…I'm out. That makes me nauseous.
11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
12) I'm open to all political persuasions…but if you're a hardcore Libertarian or an ultra-right conservative…thats gonna be rough. I consider anyone that is THAT far to the right for other than religious reasons to be completely clueless. If I have to listen to a woman drone on about flat taxes or how Fox News isn't biased…my head "may" explode.
13) You need a job. I'd prefer it not be "exotic dancer" or "escort". But SOME type of job is mandatory. My money is tied up in bowling, poker, an outrageous amount of debt, and some divorce expenses…I am not in the position to be a "sugar daddy".
14) My ideal woman would have the body of Mia Nygren, the personality of Jamie Buchman (character in "Mad About You"), and the sex drive of Sasha Grey. And the intellect of a medical doctor. Sense of humor of Sarah Silverman.
15) Loyal…no cheaters!!!

As to my "attributes" to sell to prospective ladies….in addition to my very average looks:

- still have a full set of hair.
- average or better in the "downstairs" department.
- overweight, but not that bad.
- tall, athletic, STD free
- extremely funny/good sense of humor
- very good in the bedroom
- love animals (except house cats, insects, and man-eating animals)
- good with kids and old people love me
- income near 100k, however net worth probably around - $34,000
- well educated and degreed
- never been arrested
- family background is normal, nothing too toxic

So there's a "short list"…ya know, to get this thing rolling. I'll sit around and wait for the applications to roll in!!

[MICHAEL]

Can't you just use one of the videos I posted. I hate posting pics of me on here because half the time I can't figure it out and I don't want to you use imageshack because then a picture of me is "out there" in cyberspace. And Lord knows that the real reason you want it is to photoshop the **** out of it and post it and make fun of me. I have 3 sets of videos on here…all recent…all a good representative of what I look like. If thats not enough…I'm planning on making another set of videos next Friday so I can get noeymc and everyone to offer their critiques.

And if that REALLY isn't enough and you need a picture; I'll try to upload one.

I would fire back at doff and Granny…but in all honesty…they are making good points. Of my 30-40 sexual partners…I think all but 10 required financial compensation. And most of the other ones required at least a moderate amount of alcohol. So Iceman…you're probably going to hit that elusive 800 series before this project bears fruit. But just to play along…all interested ladies should apply with the following criteria in mind:

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
2) I weigh 215. So, you need to weigh less than that.
3) I'm cutting off the age at 54. There is no lower limit, but women don't age well. Don't blame me! Blame God. Believe me, I wish you gals got hotter with age…it would make walking around on the beach with 19-21 year olds running around not so damn frustrating. But it is what it is.
4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
5) You need to be very sexual. I'm not talking weird…but if you're a gal that has weird issues with being molested as a child or you have some weird guilt stuff going on….Aslan requires sex on an almost daily basis…so prudes need not apply. And disease free is a must!
6) You need to be fun.
7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store".
9) I'm setting the kid limit at 2. If you have more than 2 kids…then you better be dang hot and dang rich. More than 3 kids…can't do it. College tuition is too high these days.
10) No cats. If you're super hot…I'll maybe give in on ONE cat. Dogs are okay. But if your house/apartment smells like pet urine…I'm out. That makes me nauseous.
11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
12) I'm open to all political persuasions…but if you're a hardcore Libertarian or an ultra-right conservative…thats gonna be rough. I consider anyone that is THAT far to the right for other than religious reasons to be completely clueless. If I have to listen to a woman drone on about flat taxes or how Fox News isn't biased…my head "may" explode.
13) You need a job. I'd prefer it not be "exotic dancer" or "escort". But SOME type of job is mandatory. My money is tied up in bowling, poker, an outrageous amount of debt, and some divorce expenses…I am not in the position to be a "sugar daddy".
14) My ideal woman would have the body of Mia Nygren, the personality of Jamie Buchman (character in "Mad About You"), and the sex drive of Sasha Grey. And the intellect of a medical doctor. Sense of humor of Sarah Silverman.
15) Loyal…no cheaters!!!

As to my "attributes" to sell to prospective ladies….in addition to my very average looks:

- still have a full set of hair.
- average or better in the "downstairs" department.
- overweight, but not that bad.
- tall, athletic, STD free
- extremely funny/good sense of humor
- very good in the bedroom
- love animals (except house cats, insects, and man-eating animals)
- good with kids and old people love me
- income near 100k, however net worth probably around - $34,000
- well educated and degreed
- never been arrested
- family background is normal, nothing too toxic

So there's a "short list"…ya know, to get this thing rolling. I'll sit around and wait for the applications to roll in!!

WoW,,, that's all your looking for!!!! You might be better off joining that blonde that went to the convent! "What do Nun's and Aslan have in common??? They both don't get nun!!! LOL..

Ok serious, The ABOVE LIST is going to be HARD, but not completely impossible! YES WE NEED A PICTURE OF YOU like those police Mug shots! Profile, and straight on!

This will work my Californian friend! AND, once this happens you will be a new Man/bowler!!

I have seen what happens when the love boat sets sail!! Now POST THAT PICTURE, and wait for the MAGIC to HAPPEN!!

It will Aslan,,,, Have faith, like the Nun!!

[MICHAEL]

I am Mike's, ( I mean Iceman neighbor,lol,lol)

I don't have a computer, but I do have a love of bowling! In fact anything you like, I am sure I could love too! I don't bowl that much, but looking at your scores, guess what big guy,,, I think you could score with me! Bowing that is, LOL,,,LOL,,,! I think we just might have a lot in common, including bowing averages! Mine is about 145 on a good day when the sun is shrining!

Anyway, Mike, ( Imean Iceman will give me a call if you decided you want to send me a ticket to fly out to CA!)
Hope to hear from you soon.... ( my name is susan,,, and I know you like blondes,,,, guess what Aslan!!) I have sent a picture!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/dateforAslan_zps72fef26c.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/dateforAslan_zps72fef26c.jpg.html)

[e-tank]

Jw Aslan, do you even lift?

[Aslan]

Jw Aslan, do you even lift?

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

[tr33frog]

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

I lost weight best when doing a mix of cardio and lifting. I did cardio/core one day and then the other I would lift.

[MICHAEL]

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/dateforAslan_zps72fef26c.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/dateforAslan_zps72fef26c.jpg.html)

Not only a future hall of famer in bowling, but a Buff body! Now I am really interested Aslan! Send my a ticket from Kansas city to where ever, and I will give you a dream date! ( I work out too)

I want to thank Iceman for letting me use his computer,,, mine is down at the present time!

I know my name is Susan, but you can call me Suie,,, Suie,,,, My Dad runs a hog farm, and when he would
call them hogs, back when I was knee-high-to a pig, many times I would come a running too! Make them there tickets first class if you don't mind!

"Do you see that big space between my teeth,,,, well........?????

[MICHAEL]

Aslan needs you!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/00de9e76-8e19-420f-89db-675ddd16eade_zps2f12e043.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/00de9e76-8e19-420f-89db-675ddd16eade_zps2f12e043.jpg.html)


UNCLE Aslan WANT YOU!!

[Mudpuppy]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

[MICHAEL]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

Complete, might be a good adjective!! LOL I just don't get it! A Bowler, and Biker!! No takes yet, with the exception of my neighbor???? Maybe they just don't FEEL WORTHY!!!!

[e-tank]

lift?

Like what? Weights?

I used to back in high school and college. But I'm kinda old for "lifting". I mainly run...try to do a little planking...work with a medicine ball. My goal is to lose weight, not develop muscle mass. I know for best results you mix in a little of both...but I've seen many people lose weight by just doing cardio yet have YET to see any person lose weight by just lifting. It's probably my top pet peeve about "gyms" is going there and watching a bunch of fat guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Apparently they think that if they bench 300lbs women will fall all over themselves to get a date with them...despite the fact that lifting 300lbs isn't a very big accomplishment if you weigh 300lbs.

Being in Cali I can mainly exercise outside which I prefer. When I was in the midwest I'd have a gym membership and I integrated a little more weights into my workout.

I think I'll take a "pass" on Iceman's imaginary neighbor/sister. She violates TWO Aslan requirements in that she has severe dental issues AND doesn't own a computer...which means she likely has no job.

-lifting burns more cals than cardio
-weight isnt lost because muscle mass is gained
-youre never too old for lifting
-i currently bench 415, im not 300lbs, and my gf loves every pound of it.

[tr33frog]

-lifting burns more cals than cardio
-weight isnt lost because muscle mass is gained
-youre never too old for lifting
-i currently bench 415, im not 300lbs, and my gf loves every pound of it.

Exactly! I've read that cardio burns while you do it, while lifting can burn for 24 hours after.

[Aslan]

It's really a mystery why he is single. His list is so realistic.

WHoa...whoa....I gotta do an experiment here with Mr. Puppy...I'm gonna post my list of 15 things and see where Mr. Puppy feels I'm "aiming a little high":

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
So apparently Muddpuppy is fine with a woman that can't wear a 2-piece in public. okay.
2) I weigh 215. So, you need to weigh less than that.
Again, apparently MP feels that I'm aiming a little high by hoping for a woman that weighs LESS than me. 215!?? MP...215 is a LOT for a female!
3) I'm cutting off the age at 54. There is no lower limit, but women don't age well. Don't blame me! Blame God. Believe me, I wish you gals got hotter with age…it would make walking around on the beach with 19-21 year olds running around not so damn frustrating. But it is what it is.
So MP...are you saying that maybe I should broaden my targets to include women in their 60s and 70s?? Thats some extreme cougar hunting right there.
4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
Okay...apparently "fertile" is asking a little much according to MP.
5) You need to be very sexual. I'm not talking weird…but if you're a gal that has weird issues with being molested as a child or you have some weird guilt stuff going on….Aslan requires sex on an almost daily basis…so prudes need not apply. And disease free is a must!
MP...seriously? If you think asking for someone without severe mental trauma and absent of STDs is "aiming too high"...we need to get you to a clinic PRONTO!!
6) You need to be fun. Really?? So "fun" is out???
7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
MP...if you're saying I should focus on dumb chicks...you're going to tick off the relatively few female bowlers here by discounting intelligence as a positive attribute.
8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store". "Maybe" aiming too high if I live in Dearborn...but really???
9) I'm setting the kid limit at 2. If you have more than 2 kids…then you better be dang hot and dang rich. More than 3 kids…can't do it. College tuition is too high these days.
MP! Why do I want some other dude's brats living off my dime??! How many kids did Mrs.-MP bring into the relationship??
10) No cats. If you're super hot…I'll maybe give in on ONE cat. Dogs are okay. But if your house/apartment smells like pet urine…I'm out. That makes me nauseous.
Okay...so now I'm being too picky because I've just ruled out hoarders and those people that you see on ASPCA Cops. Thats too picky.
11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
I admit not accepting NBA fans is pushing it in Cali...and the Nascar requirement eliminates every state southeast of Michigan and south of Chicago...so that may be true.
12) I'm open to all political persuasions…but if you're a hardcore Libertarian or an ultra-right conservative…thats gonna be rough. I consider anyone that is THAT far to the right for other than religious reasons to be completely clueless. If I have to listen to a woman drone on about flat taxes or how Fox News isn't biased…my head "may" explode.
Okay...this only limits tea party and libertarians...I'm still okay with moderate concervatives.
13) You need a job. I'd prefer it not be "exotic dancer" or "escort". But SOME type of job is mandatory. My money is tied up in bowling, poker, an outrageous amount of debt, and some divorce expenses…I am not in the position to be a "sugar daddy".
So a "JOB" is asking too much!!?
14) My ideal woman would have the body of Mia Nygren, the personality of Jamie Buchman (character in "Mad About You"), and the sex drive of Sasha Grey. And the intellect of a medical doctor. Sense of humor of Sarah Silverman.
Okay...this one's a bit out there...but it's only a guideline!!!
15) Loyal…no cheaters!!!
MP...again...you need to raise your standards if this is aiming too high.

MP...so lemme get this straight. If those 15 attributes are unrealistic...then the personal ad YOU would write...to find MP a woman...would be:

"Proud Michigander looking for female companion. Prefer obese women over 215lbs, over the age of 54 who are infertile and have a history of sexual trauma and STDs. I'd prefer a woman of low intelect, preferably a Muslim, who is very much not fun to be around. Please have more than 2 kids and a house that smells like pet urine. I'd prefer a white trash hillbilly or NBA fan. Please be unemployed, unattractive, a prude, and have no sense of humor and I'd prefer you be disloyal to me when you get a chance."- Yours always and Forever, Mudpuppy.

I'm gonna have to say...if I have to resort to MP's standards....being alone aint that bad. Just sayin.

[sprocket]

Don't most people fail in the gym because they have no idea what they are doing and are to proud to ask for help? They would rather look stupid lifting and using the machines wrong then take a small amount of instruction from a certified trainer.

Sounds like bowling...

[Aslan]

-lifting burns more cals than cardio
-weight isnt lost because muscle mass is gained
-youre never too old for lifting
-i currently bench 415, im not 300lbs, and my gf loves every pound of it.

It's THAT belief that fills gyms with overweight guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Meanwhile, when I run 5Ks and 10Ks...virtually ZERO bodybuilders.

Weight lifting is great to tone up your physique. But if you're overweight...and you don't have some insanely low body % fat...having large biceps tends to get lost in the fact that you're butt requires elastic pants.

But at the end of the day, it's what you're going after, what your goal is. My goal is 170lbs, then maybe add 5lbs by incorporating more toning. Some people have different goals.

[tccstudent]

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
So apparently Muddpuppy is fine with a woman that can't wear a 2-piece in public. okay.
Have you never seen the women of walmart I have seen many women wear a 2-piece that have no business wearing one.


4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
Okay...apparently "fertile" is asking a little much according to MP
Dont you think one ASLAN is enough in this world


7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
MP...if you're saying I should focus on dumb chicks...you're going to tick off the relatively few female bowlers here by discounting intelligence as a positive attribute.gYou need to listen to my favorite song it will help you know what kind of girls to go after the song is by Jason Boland "Rich Young Dumb Nyphomaniac"

8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store". "Maybe" aiming too high if I live in Dearborn...but really???s
There is nothing wrong with Islam its just the radical fundamentalists. But I can understand wanting someone of your own faith

11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
I admit not accepting NBA fans is pushing it in Cali...and the Nascar requirement eliminates every state southeast of Michigan and south of Chicago...so that may be true.The worst NASCAR fans in the country come from your neck in the woods check out Fontana or as yall call it Fontucky on raceday.



Ok here you go I gotta throw in my 2 cents

[Aslan]

Don't most people fail in the gym because they have no idea what they are doing and are to proud to ask for help? They would rather look stupid lifting and using the machines wrong then take a small amount of instruction from a certified trainer.

Sounds like bowling...

If you ask a trainer (or USBC coach).

I think the biggest mistakes I've seen at gyms are:

1) People who just go there and walk on a treadmill then get frustrated because the weight isn't coming off fast enough. They don't understand the amount of effort and time it takes to burn calories. Walking is great if you can't jog. And jogging is great if you can't run. But you have to allign your expectations with your ability/pace. For me to run off a meal...I have to run at a moderate pace for around 6 miles. Thats 6 miles in a little over an hour to just burn off a small-medium meal. So walking ONE mile...isn't going to make up for a dessert or 2 extra slices of pizza.

2) Weight loss "can" be accomplished by diet alone or exercise alone....but it's REALLY hard to do that way. I've tried both extremes and doing each without the other requires either a virtual starvation diet or a constant P90-X style intensive workout regiment. Most people can't sustain those for longer than a week.

3) Lifting weights doesn't make you lose weight. Lifting weights ADDs weight. So if a guy weighs 268 and wants to look sexier so he starts bench pressing and squating and doing barbells and push-ups...he's not going to lose weight. He may look slightly better with muscles that are more firm than before...but he'll still be obese. And when he stops lifting...that added bulk just becomes add fat and he's worse off than before.

Thats why most guys that women would say "look sexy or hot" are guys who are close to their ideal BMI/weight but with definition. So you skim the fat away then start defining those abs and pecs and biceps and shoulders. The goal should be to look more like an NFL wide receiver or defensive back and less like an offensive/defensive lineman. Don't get me wrong, lineman are IMPRESSIVELY strong. N. Suh can throw a grown man almost 9 feet through the air. But most women would actually prefer the body type of a Micheal Phelps. Swimmers aren't strong or bulky...but they are thin, almost no % fat, and very well defined. I tried adding swimming to my workout but I'll be honest...swimming is WAY harder than anything else. I ran 8 miles on Sunday afternoon and probably coulda ran 5-6 more. But after 4 laps in a regulation size pool...I feel like my heart is going to explode!!

[e-tank]

It's THAT belief that fills gyms with overweight guys lifting barbells and staring at themselves in the mirror. Meanwhile, when I run 5Ks and 10Ks...virtually ZERO bodybuilders.

Weight lifting is great to tone up your physique. But if you're overweight...and you don't have some insanely low body % fat...having large biceps tends to get lost in the fact that you're butt requires elastic pants.

But at the end of the day, it's what you're going after, what your goal is. My goal is 170lbs, then maybe add 5lbs by incorporating more toning. Some people have different goals.

lol what belief are you referring to?

btw i cant decipher if youre serious or kidding in your lifting replies. For your sake, i hope youre kidding

[Aslan]

Ok here you go I gotta throw in my 2 cents

I lived next door to some DIE HARD Nascar fans when I lived in Michigan. Michigan tends to be a bit of a "hot bed" for Nascar because of the car industry. And man...every dang weekend they'd have some redneck party while the race was on. I tried to go over and watch it with them just to be social...but I could NOT understand for the life of me why people find that entertaining.

Whether you have a list of 15 things or 10 things or 25 things....the only advice I can give is...be careful "settling". All of us will eventually "settle" because the absolute perfect mate just doesn't exist. But if you settle on someone...no matter how unimportant the thing(s) is/are that they lack...eventually it'll become a big deal.

Where I went to school, there were far more men than women...so I personally witnessed a LOT of guys "settle". If they had a list of 10 things...and they found a girl who met 2-4 of them...they'd go for it. Then those men got out in the real world...where the ratio is more like 50/50...and suddenly they were either divorced, cheating, or miserable. Because all those things that didn't matter when the options were few...matter a great deal when the options are many. Like Chris Rock said, "Men are as faithful as their OPTIONS." You meet a gal that has 75% or more of what you're looking for...you're probably okay. Love and familiarity and history and circumstances can make up the difference. But you settle on a gal who has 30-40%...that gal better keep you on a short, short leash....because you're BOUND to find another gal that meets 60-70% eventually.

[Aslan]

lol what belief are you referring to?

btw i cant decipher if youre serious or kidding in your lifting replies. For your sake, i hope youre kidding

I'm referring to the belief that if someone lifts weights and doesn't diet or do cardio that they will eventually look like Patrick Swayze in "Roadhouse". But...ya know what...I can't illustrate what I'm trying to say without pictures of the examples...and I never bothered to take any.

[tr33frog]

I'm referring to the belief that if someone lifts weights and doesn't diet or do cardio that they will eventually look like Patrick Swayze in "Roadhouse". But...ya know what...I can't illustrate what I'm trying to say without pictures of the examples...and I never bothered to take any.
Are you sure they are not looking to be more like the guys in the old worlds strongest man show? People have different perceptions of what is beautiful, and some women like their men bigger and some like their guys skinny with a 6 pack.

[MICHAEL]

We need to find Aslan a woman!!! We don't need to argue over male body types, and working out? Come on ladies, there must be someone out there that can fall for this Hunk of a man that doesn't ask for much, but would prefer, a Diva!!
No, he has the ball, he needs a woman flesh and blood!! Anyone know of any pointers that might help? Is it TRUE that once you reach a 230 average, chicks rush you as you enter the lanes, asking for autographs, and dates?? Could it be a simple as that for Aslan??? Would a Larry leisure Suit help????? Would it help to walk like John Travolta to the song Staying Alive,,,, is it that aloft attitude, rather then desperate that might open up a new chapter in his quest for eternal bliss!!

WE NEED Ideas, Forget the work outs! After reading the commits, I went out and purchased ANOTHER GYM membership!!! The power of the written word!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cov0bmfO_w


STUDY THIS WALK Aslan!!

[Mudpuppy]

WHoa...whoa....I gotta do an experiment here with Mr. Puppy...I'm gonna post my list of 15 things and see where Mr. Puppy feels I'm "aiming a little high":

1) You must be hot. Not a "10"…but the minimum is that you should be able to wear a 2-piece bathing suit in public without it being embarrassing.
So apparently Muddpuppy is fine with a woman that can't wear a 2-piece in public. okay.
2) I weigh 215. So, you need to weigh less than that.
Again, apparently MP feels that I'm aiming a little high by hoping for a woman that weighs LESS than me. 215!?? MP...215 is a LOT for a female!
3) I'm cutting off the age at 54. There is no lower limit, but women don't age well. Don't blame me! Blame God. Believe me, I wish you gals got hotter with age…it would make walking around on the beach with 19-21 year olds running around not so damn frustrating. But it is what it is.
So MP...are you saying that maybe I should broaden my targets to include women in their 60s and 70s?? Thats some extreme cougar hunting right there.
4) I'd prefer you be fertile. So we're talking probably <40. I'ts not a "firm" requirement…but Aslan would like to have one more chance at a natural born male to follow in his elite bowling footsteps.
Okay...apparently "fertile" is asking a little much according to MP.
5) You need to be very sexual. I'm not talking weird…but if you're a gal that has weird issues with being molested as a child or you have some weird guilt stuff going on….Aslan requires sex on an almost daily basis…so prudes need not apply. And disease free is a must!
MP...seriously? If you think asking for someone without severe mental trauma and absent of STDs is "aiming too high"...we need to get you to a clinic PRONTO!!
6) You need to be fun. Really?? So "fun" is out???
7) You need to be intelligent, preferably college educated.
MP...if you're saying I should focus on dumb chicks...you're going to tick off the relatively few female bowlers here by discounting intelligence as a positive attribute.
8) No Muslims. I don't want to get implicated in some terrorist funding things because your uncle in Lebanon owns a "store". "Maybe" aiming too high if I live in Dearborn...but really???
9) I'm setting the kid limit at 2. If you have more than 2 kids…then you better be dang hot and dang rich. More than 3 kids…can't do it. College tuition is too high these days.
MP! Why do I want some other dude's brats living off my dime??! How many kids did Mrs.-MP bring into the relationship??
10) No cats. If you're super hot…I'll maybe give in on ONE cat. Dogs are okay. But if your house/apartment smells like pet urine…I'm out. That makes me nauseous.
Okay...so now I'm being too picky because I've just ruled out hoarders and those people that you see on ASPCA Cops. Thats too picky.
11) I'd prefer a sports fan…but not the Colorado Avaanche or Chicago Blackhawks. Those a deal breakers. And no NBA fans. Pro basketball is stupid. And no Nascar fans. Nascar is even more stupid than basketball.
I admit not accepting NBA fans is pushing it in Cali...and the Nascar requirement eliminates every state southeast of Michigan and south of Chicago...so that may be true.
12) I'm open to all political persuasions…but if you're a hardcore Libertarian or an ultra-right conservative…thats gonna be rough. I consider anyone that is THAT far to the right for other than religious reasons to be completely clueless. If I have to listen to a woman drone on about flat taxes or how Fox News isn't biased…my head "may" explode.
Okay...this only limits tea party and libertarians...I'm still okay with moderate concervatives.
13) You need a job. I'd prefer it not be "exotic dancer" or "escort". But SOME type of job is mandatory. My money is tied up in bowling, poker, an outrageous amount of debt, and some divorce expenses…I am not in the position to be a "sugar daddy".
So a "JOB" is asking too much!!?
14) My ideal woman would have the body of Mia Nygren, the personality of Jamie Buchman (character in "Mad About You"), and the sex drive of Sasha Grey. And the intellect of a medical doctor. Sense of humor of Sarah Silverman.
Okay...this one's a bit out there...but it's only a guideline!!!
15) Loyal…no cheaters!!!
MP...again...you need to raise your standards if this is aiming too high.

MP...so lemme get this straight. If those 15 attributes are unrealistic...then the personal ad YOU would write...to find MP a woman...would be:

"Proud Michigander looking for female companion. Prefer obese women over 215lbs, over the age of 54 who are infertile and have a history of sexual trauma and STDs. I'd prefer a woman of low intelect, preferably a Muslim, who is very much not fun to be around. Please have more than 2 kids and a house that smells like pet urine. I'd prefer a white trash hillbilly or NBA fan. Please be unemployed, unattractive, a prude, and have no sense of humor and I'd prefer you be disloyal to me when you get a chance."- Yours always and Forever, Mudpuppy.

I'm gonna have to say...if I have to resort to MP's standards....being alone aint that bad. Just sayin.

First off baller I am not looking for a woman. I got one and never had any problem finding a good one. Fertile wise I have my 5th kid on the way March 28, 2014 so I am good there. Technically speaking right now she probably couldn't / shouldn't wear a 2 piece but in the course of normal non-pregnant days it is no problem. I agree on the weight - I am about 210 myself so yes I agree less than that. Although I am not looking in the 95-105 range. I don't want a crack addict or stick thin. Got to have some meat on the bones if you kwim. Hey man my wife is 6 years younger so I am good in your range. 54 would be extremely high for me - I would say sub-40s if I was looking. Sex on a daily basis? Better get you a blow up doll not a woman. Not happening. Lofty goal there. Fun is good. No muslims although that is a bit stereo-typical and a personal preference I would tend to lean that way as well. I only deal with my own kids. I have 4 now and soon to be 5. She brought none and I agree that is the way to go - 0 to 2 is a good range but 0 is better. I hate cats and yes hoarders are NFG. I happen to have a cat and that is all Mrs. MP brought into the relationship. I'd like to take that little ...... out hunting and not bring him back but I don't. I am with you on no NBA or nascar fans. That is a good goal. Political wise Mrs. MP and I don't see eye to eye or religion either - she is more conventional just tell me what to think and I am the opposite. Don't rule out political or religious parties unless they are complete whackos. Alex Jones' daughter - probably not. Leave that alone. I agree they need a job or at least be self-sufficient - I don't care how but yes you don't want a leech. # 14 even as a guideline might be why you are single. Loyal is always good and a must. Your version of my standards is quite humorous - thank you for the laugh. A bit off (by about everything) but funny as hell. Good luck in your search Mr. Aslan. You will find Mrs. Aslan soon enough....or just resort to internet loving for a fee.

[Aslan]

Are you sure they are not looking to be more like the guys in the old worlds strongest man show? People have different perceptions of what is beautiful, and some women like their men bigger and some like their guys skinny with a 6 pack.

1) The concept that some hot women might like a guy with a beer gut...I'm not saying they aren't there...but it is a terrible strategy to rely on meeting one. It's like closing your eyes, throwing a frisbee, and hoping it hits a unicorn. Now...if you lower your standards...sure. Women (or men if you're a woman) are like cars. You can always find one within your budget. But if you're picky on color, options, or how well it runs...things get more difficult.

2) Side note...I ran into (almost literally) a couple guys that compete in "World's Strongest Man" when I was walking through a hotel lobby. Those men...are MASSIVE. Not just "built"...they are literally MASSIVE individuals. I've met pro wrestlers and pro hockey players...and they are a lot bigger in person than on TV....but the World's Strongest Man guys...WOW. They must have been > 6'7"...and their legs were almost the size of my hips. Just amazing. I avoided literally running into them...but had I not, I doubt they'd have felt it. Even at 215 pounds I'd probably just bounce off without them feeling it.

And yes MP...I was sorta kidding in that post. I was pretty sure that by saying my standards were possibly too high you weren't implying that I should aim for the opposite. And I agree with the rest of your post.

I was gonna post a picture for Iceman to use in his quest...but he's far too good with photo editing software and has far too much time on his hands...so I'll just let my videos speak for themselves.

[MICHAEL]

I was gonna post a picture for Iceman to use in his quest...but he's far too good with photo editing software and has far too much time on his hands...so I'll just let my videos speak for themselves.[/QUOTE]

Women bowlers from all over the WORLD come to Bowlingboard.com!! Many of them have sent me private messages saying, ("I can't see much in those videos!")

At least 1 of them said, post a picture of Aslan!! They want a picture of you full length, front and side! Also One said they wanted a picture of you flexing your massive bowling arm,,,,,, "the one you deliver your ball with!"

I promise you with MY super Hero WORD, I will not touch your pictures!! I am doing this for you,,,,, for what ever reason I can't even figure out myself!

I just know, and can feel you need a WOMAN! POST THAT PICTURE,,, most bowling women are very laxed on their appearance requirements, so , (((don't worry!)))!

This could be your chance to find your Bowling Soul Mate!!

[Aslan]

Okay Iceman...since you gave your word and the word of a retired iron worker means something I will post one. I just have to edit some people out of it, crop it, and post it. Maybe tonight after I get done paying some bills online.

[MICHAEL]

I sent Iceman an email, I couldn't figure out how to become a member! I do work out, heavy lifter, you should see my tosh!! I might just be that dream woman your looing for! I do live in CA,,, Sand-Frand-sissco!! Know where that at Aslan?
I would love to go bowling with you, but I don't have any balls? Could I borrow one, just one of yours? I have read many of your threads, and think a person like me could learn soooooooo much from you!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/Ugly-Women_zpsa44c8d06.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/Ugly-Women_zpsa44c8d06.jpg.html)

Aslan, I have been saving myself for someone just like YOU! Please post a clear picture of yourself for me,
hope to hear from you soon, Rachel,,,, my name before the gender change was Ralph! I hope that's not a problem.

p.s. I can bench press 450lbs! I have been hurt before... (:( xoxoxxx!!

[tccstudent]

Ding Ding I think we have a winner

[Mudpuppy]

that is a clear winner, lol

[Aslan]

1) Thats not a woman. Which makes me wonder about this forum if the people responding can't tell the difference.

2) That's making me physically ill. I think I'm done with Iceman's fantasy for now.

[MICHAEL]

I just clean them up a little and pass them on to you Aslan! Some I have had to just destroy!! Knowing this is PG 15!

I am sure we will find a woman for you, and I can feel it in your posts,,, More then a free ball, you need a woman!

Many that have Privite messaged me said your standards are so high that they don't even try!!!!

How about this for your dream date: HOT LOOKING CHICK, Bronze level or above Coaching, Bowls to live, and lives to Bowl!!

[Mudpuppy]

Sounds reasonable iceman

[MICHAEL]

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/8410a5ea-9000-4343-be29-4394331db6b3_zps2a119676.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/8410a5ea-9000-4343-be29-4394331db6b3_zps2a119676.jpg.html)

Aslan just think of the fun we could have bowling together! You are a huge star now on bowlingboard.com. and that is a big turn on for me! I am a bronze bowling coach, but believe me I don’t think you need me for a coach, but maybe a girl friend? I would let you brad the hair under my womanly arms pits! I sometimes use that hair to wipe the oil off my bowling balls, but then you probably knew that! ()

If you think I just might be your kind of woman, and you like the cavewoman look, drop Iceman a line! He knows how to get in touch with me…

p.s. guess what color my eyes are Aslan??? NO,, not red,,,, I am giving you a heart on, I hope... Maybe 2,, I know I have two on my eyes just for you!

Just for you information my eyes are dark brown, like the stuff you just might be standing in at this moment! This is for Aslan, not you iceman...... XXXXXOOOOO!

Hey bud, I just copied it, and did a paste,,,,, let me know if this one would work out for you, Champ!!

[Mudpuppy]

Man iceman really digs up some hotties for you Aslan, lol

[Aslan]

Man iceman really digs up some hotties for you Aslan, lol

Jokes on him.

1) Guilt by association...I mean, he actually knows a great deal more ugly people than a typical American.
2) I can't see the pictures because my computer at work is facist...so whatever image he posted...I can't see it.

[Mudpuppy]

Jokes on him.

1) Guilt by association...I mean, he actually knows a great deal more ugly people than a typical American.
2) I can't see the pictures because my computer at work is facist...so whatever image he posted...I can't see it.

Cliff notes: Aslan is dying to meet her Iceman

[MICHAEL]

Jokes on him.

1) Guilt by association...I mean, he actually knows a great deal more ugly people than a typical American.
2) I can't see the pictures because my computer at work is facist...so whatever image he posted...I can't see it.

I get private messages form them!!!! Hell if I know any of them Aslan! But they sure seem to be drawn to you!!
especially since you are now a big time tornament win----aa---er!!!!! LOL

GET USE TO IT!!!

[Aslan]

Cliff notes: Aslan is dying to meet her Iceman

I think you're confusing Cliff Notes with "Choose Your Own Adventure".

[tccstudent]

I get private messages form them!!!! Hell if I know any of them Aslan! But they sure seem to be drawn to you!!
especially since you are now a big time tornament win----aa---er!!!!! LOL

GET USE TO IT!!!

You know I think Aslan is scared. You keep passing on these wonderful ladies that are all interested in him and he has yet to jump on one.

[Aslan]

You know I think Aslan is scared. You keep passing on these wonderful ladies that are all interested in him and he has yet to jump on one.

i'm just a bit particular when it comes to my ladies; thats all.

[tccstudent]

http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/niceniceniceteeth.jpg

This is Sam she told me that yall went out last week and you never called her back

[Mike White]

http://www.grimmemennesker.dk/data/media/2/niceniceniceteeth.jpg

This is Sam she told me that yall went out last week and you never called her back

God, is that even human?

[MICHAEL]

God, is that even human?

Yes ,,, She is half human!! They did a DNA blood test on her at the pound!! She was brought in mistakenly along with a group of Dogs! I read about her in "True Stories of a Dog Catcher"

She is looking for a mate, and is in heat Aslan!!! Her name is Lisa Shepherd, and dog-gone-it,,, she is in need of a man. But not just any man,,,, a Star,,, a bowling star, a Weiner!!! (:)

Step up to the plate,,,, I know for a fact, (from True Stories of a Dog Catcher ) , that at this VERY moment she is in a kennel, at a pound not far from your place of residence! I also know that she has been spaded, so all you would have to do is pay 50.00 bucks, and your in business.

What a cheap date Aslan,,,,, couple cans of Ol Roy dog food, a few dog biscuits , and some sparkling tap water!!

I even bet you could teach her how to bowl!!!! (just make sure to bring some doggie treats, and reward her when she kicks you butt in bowling) LMAO!!!

YES MAYBE YOUR DREAM DATE ASLAN..... Thanks Tccstudent!! Dog-gone-it that was a truly great find!!

[MICHAEL]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNuX7bs2qAM

This is a song that I could imagine Aslan singing just after he says his prayers and hits the sack!
(you just have to change the perspective, from a Woman looking for a man, to Aslan looking for his Dream Woman!

Good luck bud! YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT to the end,,, (:)

Yes Aslan,,, there is a SANDMAN!!

[MICHAEL]

Iceman is just forwarding what was sent to me in a private message:

Hey Aslan, I hear your looking for a Woman! I love to bowl, and hang out in bowling allies, mainly in the locker rooms. Don't know why but it's a huge turn on for me, it must be the musty smell of beer, and sweaty bowling shoes!

Guess what Aslan,,, I never graduated from high school, and I can bowl with my feet! Now that you know my life story.....

Well if you think I might be that special connection you have been looking for,,, let Ice know!


http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/aslangirlfriend_zps2f6d8358.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/aslangirlfriend_zps2f6d8358.jpg.html)

Hey high roller, I spent a lot of money getting this sexy picture taken of me,,, hope you appreciate .... my name is Alley!!

Yes I was born in a bowling alley while Mom and Dad were bowling! They had a great night bowling, and actually forgot and left me behind at the ally! They were half way home before they remembered!


Its in my blood,,, I think I could take you places you have never been before, like
to that next level in many aspects of bowling. Shall we get this thing Rolling,,,,, don't worry about striking out with me!! If you have any SPARE time.... YOU TURKEY YOU... give me your number! Can I have a current picture for my locker???

[Aslan]

She has a face like that kid from the Cher movie "Mask". I think I'll pass. The lockers in the background are kinda cool though.

Not to mention she has a wedding ring on...not that it's necessarily stopped me in the past...but just sayin.

[rv driver]

She has a face like that kid from the Cher movie "Mask". I think I'll pass. The lockers in the background are kinda cool though.

Not to mention she has a wedding ring on...not that it's necessarily stopped me in the past...but just sayin.
But she has wicked tight green shorts...

[MICHAEL]

She has a face like that kid from the Cher movie "Mask". I think I'll pass. The lockers in the background are kinda cool though.

Not to mention she has a wedding ring on...not that it's necessarily stopped me in the past...but just sayin.

That's not a wedding ring,,, she says its a HOPE RING! Hoping for a love connection! OK,,,, I will pass the bad news on to her!

[Aslan]

That's not a wedding ring,,, she says its a HOPE RING! Hoping for a love connection! OK,,,, I will pass the bad news on to her!

Well, lets not act too premature here. I mean, I am drunk and horny…and if she's got nothing else to do…and I don't have the $60 it would cost to buy a comparable one…I mean, okay, why not?? So, don't send her packing just yet. I mean, probably it's just gonna be purely physical…but I'm willing to keep an open mind.

[MICHAEL]

Well, lets not act too premature here. I mean, I am drunk and horny…and if she's got nothing else to do…and I don't have the $60 it would cost to buy a comparable one…I mean, okay, why not?? So, don't send her packing just yet. I mean, probably it's just gonna be purely physical…but I'm willing to keep an open mind.

Passed this on to her, and within a few seconds got this back back from her!! QUICK Response!!! I think your in this video,,, Aslan toward the middle???


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA

[Amyers]

Passed this on to her, and within a few seconds got this back back from her!! QUICK Response!!! I think your in this video,,, Aslan toward the middle???


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA

You guys need to find lanes that are open 24 hours you have way too much time on your hands

[MICHAEL]

You guys need to find lanes that are open 24 hours you have way too much time on your hands

AND YOU DON"T???? LOL,,,,LOL,,, Mr post-U-La!! LOL

I would LOVE to find a bowling alley OPEN 24 hours here in Central Missouri,,, around the Kansas city area!! Find me one Amyers!!! (:)

[Amyers]

AND YOU DON"T???? LOL,,,,LOL,,, Mr post-U-La!! LOL

I would LOVE to find a bowling alley OPEN 24 hours here in Central Missouri,,, around the Kansas city area!! Find me one Amyers!!! (:)

Unfortunately unless you live in Vegas those days are probably over. My home alley has even started closing on Sundays during the summer 😭. There are some here that post more than I do not many but some.

[MICHAEL]

Unfortunately unless you live in Vegas those days are probably over. My home alley has even started closing on Sundays during the summer 😭. There are some here that post more than I do not many but some.


Aslan

I post for the LOVE IT,,, Aslan post because he has nothing better to do being womanless!!

HE NEEDS a WOMAN ,,,,, REAL BAD!!

ICEMAN is USING ALL his Super abilities to find one!!

I will find ONE!!

[MICHAEL]

Only problem is she hates bowling! She wants to know if your still looking!! I said, ( I don't know!!! In reality he is looking for a Nice looking woman that goes to Chruch on Sundays, and Thrusdays, and loves to bowl!)

She said, too bad! She really wanted to teach him how to play volley ball on the beach, not far from where he hibernates!
I will keep looking .....


http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/pinme-es_zpsbe33ea3f.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/pinme-es_zpsbe33ea3f.jpg.html)

[rv driver]

Only problem is she hates bowling! She wants to know if your still looking!! I said, ( I don't know!!! In reality he is looking for a Nice looking woman that goes to Chruch on Sundays, and Thrusdays, and loves to bowl!)

She said, too bad! She really wanted to teach him how to play volley ball on the beach, not far from where he hibernates!
I will keep looking .....


http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/pinme-es_zpsbe33ea3f.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/pinme-es_zpsbe33ea3f.jpg.html)
Looks like Alyssa Milano.

[MICHAEL]

Looks like Alyssa Milano.

Looks a little like my wife,,,, only she is a little older,,,,, MY WIFE THAT IS! But like a fine wine, even better!!

[rv driver]

Looks a little like my wife,,,, only she is a little older,,,,, MY WIFE THAT IS! But like a fine wine, even better!!
Indeed!

[Aslan]

Looks like Alyssa Milano.

And I LOVE me some Alyssa Milano…so I'm gonna say "yes"…but if she truly doesn't like bowling (despite her outfit choice)…gonna have to pass. Well, I'm open to the physical stuff…but old age has taught me that a "relationship" needs to be built on common interests…so the true "Mrs. Right" and I will not just be compatible physically.

[MICHAEL]

And I LOVE me some Alyssa Milano…so I'm gonna say "yes"…but if she truly doesn't like bowling (despite her outfit choice)…gonna have to pass. Well, I'm open to the physical stuff…but old age has taught me that a "relationship" needs to be built on common interests…so the true "Mrs. Right" and I will not just be compatible physically.

I guess Alyssa, was just JACKING with me! She just wanted to know if she COULD LAND YOU if she wanted too! A TEASE!!! She, (private messaged iceman), (Tell Aslan he is right,,,, We probably wouldn't have much in common,,, "I am beautiful, he is well, I will be nice AVERAGE"!)

" He likes to spend his day bowing, and writing on bowlingboard.com,,, " I like to spend men's money, and swim nude in the ocean! "He has no money, other then that Closet full of bowling balls." It would be doomed from the start,,, "TELL ASLAN, GOOD LUCK, (I think he's going to need it"!


SORRY ASLAN,,,,, Wow,,,, I thought this was for real,,, how about the gal in the Green Shorts,,,, she has sent me another: (private message!)

[rv driver]

And I LOVE me some Alyssa Milano…so I'm gonna say "yes"…but if she truly doesn't like bowling (despite her outfit choice)…gonna have to pass. Well, I'm open to the physical stuff…but old age has taught me that a "relationship" needs to be built on common interests…so the true "Mrs. Right" and I will not just be compatible physically.
She has a set of really nice pins...

[MICHAEL]

She has a set of really nice pins...


IT DE-PINS on which set your talking about... LOL On the purse, or, her........ hip!

[rv driver]

IT DE-PINS on which set your talking about... LOL On the purse, or, her........ hip!
Take your pick! They're both easy on the eyes.

[MICHAEL]

Take your pick! They're both easy on the eyes.

HOW TRUE!!!! Great observation,,, Ice agrees! I doubt it would ever have worked with Aslan,,, he is just too much of a Man for the likes of her.

The FACT THAT she doesn't mind WEARING COOL BOWLING cloths, but hates the sport, would DESTROY the relationship.

I sure that Aslan, with his passion for BOWLING,,,, Conflicts would have ruled HER out even with her un-Godly-knock-down-drag out- good looks!!

HE would have been womanless again in less then 23 years, searching for his TRUE BOWLING mate!

The Life of Aslan, and his quest for bowling GREATNESS, is a lonely journey!!

ICE will NEVER GIVE UP...

Bowling

[rv driver]

HOW TRUE!!!! Great observation,,, Ice agrees! I doubt it would ever have worked with Aslan,,, he is just too much of a Man for the likes of her.

The FACT THAT she doesn't mind WEARING COOL BOWLING cloths, but hates the sport, would DESTROY the relationship.

I sure that Aslan, with his passion for BOWLING,,,, Conflicts would have ruled HER out even with her un-Godly-knock-down-drag out- good looks!!

HE would have been womanless again in less then 23 years, searching for his TRUE BOWLING mate!

The Life of Aslan, and his quest for bowling GREATNESS, is a lonely journey!!

ICE will NEVER GIVE UP...

Bowling
Ah! What one will sacrifice for one's art...

[MICHAEL]

Again, Ice is just the messanger, got this private message at 3 am,,, on my computer, she sounds lonely and ready Aslan!!


Some people say I have a million $$$$$$, smile! What I don't know about bowling, I can more then ever make up with personality Aslan!
GRRRRRR,,,, are you really a LION!! or just lying!! Drop me a line through Ice if you ready for adventure California guy!!


http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/Haiiii-Ugly-Women-and-Girls_zps3256da55.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/Haiiii-Ugly-Women-and-Girls_zps3256da55.jpg.html)

P.S. Guess what Aslan,,,, I can throw a 16lb ball!! Good looks, nice smile, and strong as and OX!! Or is that hugs and kisses?

[Aslan]

Is this still going?? Geez.

[MICHAEL]

THE END, That's,, that's all folks!!

Good luck!

[MICHAEL]

TO end! I feel like I have let you down bro!!! God knows I have tried, your just to damn picky!!!
If you want Iceman to quit his quest,,,, just give me the word, and I will.

I just keep thinking there is a hot good looking bowling babe, with a low bowling average on wood lanes, looking for someone almost like YOU!!

[rv driver]

TO end! I feel like I have let you down bro!!! God knows I have tried, your just to damn picky!!!
If you want Iceman to quit his quest,,,, just give me the word, and I will.

I just keep thinking there is a hot good looking bowling babe, with a low bowling average on wood lanes, looking for someone almost like YOU!!
There's the problem right there, Iceman: There is no one almost like him! He's an anomaly -- a paragon -- "a lonely beacon of restraint and self-control in a squall of car-crazies." That's what "Yorba Linda" means: "Beautiful Anomaly of Bowling."

[Mudpuppy]

The Enigma among enigmas

[MICHAEL]

There's the problem right there, Iceman: There is no one almost like him! He's an anomaly -- a paragon -- "a lonely beacon of restraint and self-control in a squall of car-crazies." That's what "Yorba Linda" means: "Beautiful Anomaly of Bowling."


The Enigma among enigmas

But,,,,,but even Enigmas need love!! His bowling will NEVER get better until he has that someone special in his life! Inflatable dolls will only get a bowler so far!! He needs that Real deal, not just HOT AIR!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/03-05_RealDoll_zpsff75fab4.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/03-05_RealDoll_zpsff75fab4.jpg.html)

[rv driver]

But,,,,,but even Enigmas need love!! His bowling will NEVER get better until he has that someone special in his life! Inflatable dolls will only get a bowler so far!! He needs that Real deal, not just HOT AIR!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/03-05_RealDoll_zpsff75fab4.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/03-05_RealDoll_zpsff75fab4.jpg.html)
At least he doesn't play with inflatable bowling balls...

[MICHAEL]

At least he doesn't play with inflatable bowling balls...


HUMMMM,,, how do you know RV Driver from Missouri :rolleyes:

LIke I said,,, he doesn't want my help, so any private messages I get from this point on will be deleted!!
I gave it my best!!

Do you really drive and RV??? If so what?

(if you don't mind me asking)

[MICHAEL]

I must say, even this last week, 10 pins have been no problem,,, I did miss one Tuesday, but it was just simply missing my mark. I have went from 50/50, to probably 90 percent since the changes. Its working great,,,

Does anyone else throw palm up release, when shooting the 10 pin?? It take the hook out of the ball, and roles straight. I see so many people hook just off to the left of the 10 pin. Maybe that's how the Pro's shoot the ten???

With this method of shooting it, you can't miss, as long as you FOCUS on the center arrow, standing far left. ( for right handers)

Hitting 50 percent of 10 pins was a KILLER, in regards to average!

What could have been a strike, with a ringing ten pin, or flat one, winds up an open frame.

I feel pretty good now when I get one knowing my new system for picking it up WORKS!

[rv driver]

HUMMMM,,, how do you know RV Driver from Missouri :rolleyes:

LIke I said,,, he doesn't want my help, so any private messages I get from this point on will be deleted!!
I gave it my best!!

Do you really drive and RV??? If so what?

(if you don't mind me asking)
"RV" is short for RV-10. It's a four-seat, homebuilt airplane.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.myrv10.com/MyRV10_104CD_05.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.myrv10.com/&h=183&w=275&tbnid=LKHrzmYcA0-jPM:&zoom=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=200&usg=__Bk-x_7xn8BWS3StOUazonC2wAmQ=&docid=FiLJNBdmKHvhCM&itg=1&client=safari&sa=X&ei=hqi2U4iFDYmTqgaX_oDgDA&ved=0CJEBEPwdMAo

[rv driver]

HUMMMM,,, how do you know RV Driver from Missouri
Good point...

[rv driver]

I must say, even this last week, 10 pins have been no problem,,, I did miss one Tuesday, but it was just simply missing my mark. I have went from 50/50, to probably 90 percent since the changes. Its working great,,,

Does anyone else throw palm up release, when shooting the 10 pin?? It take the hook out of the ball, and roles straight. I see so many people hook just off to the left of the 10 pin. Maybe that's how the Pro's shoot the ten???

With this method of shooting it, you can't miss, as long as you FOCUS on the center arrow, standing far left. ( for right handers)

Hitting 50 percent of 10 pins was a KILLER, in regards to average!

What could have been a strike, with a ringing ten pin, or flat one, winds up an open frame.

I feel pretty good now when I get one knowing my new system for picking it up WORKS!
I always throw palm up behind the ball when throwing straight.

[MICHAEL]

"RV" is short for RV-10. It's a four-seat, homebuilt airplane.

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.myrv10.com/MyRV10_104CD_05.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.myrv10.com/&h=183&w=275&tbnid=LKHrzmYcA0-jPM:&zoom=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=200&usg=__Bk-x_7xn8BWS3StOUazonC2wAmQ=&docid=FiLJNBdmKHvhCM&itg=1&client=safari&sa=X&ei=hqi2U4iFDYmTqgaX_oDgDA&ved=0CJEBEPwdMAo

I came close to buying and ultra light When we live in California! My wife thought she might get a pretty good promotion related to the railroad in Needles CA. Out in the desert! I thought the PERFECT PLACE to fly and ultra-Light one seater plane! Checking out old ghost towns and old artifacts one might spot form the air... I have always wanted to fly! I also do treasure hunting, with my Garret metal detector! Have found some pretty COOL STUFF!

I wonder if in the Kansas City area you can get ultra light training??? Being and Iron Work heights never bothered me, in fact the higher the better!
Worked on the two tallest buildings down town, putting up the structural Steel.

On my bucket list is flying! I think with the ultra light, sitting in that open bike like frame would be as close to being a Bird as it can get!

do you own the RV-10?

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/0317111_zpse0e98e7b.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/0317111_zpse0e98e7b.jpg.html)

[rv driver]

I came close to buying and ultra light When we live in California! My wife thought she might get a pretty good promotion related to the railroad in Needles CA. Out in the desert! I thought the PERFECT PLACE to fly and ultra-Light one seater plane! Checking out old ghost towns and old artifacts one might spot form the air... I have always wanted to fly! I also do treasure hunting, with my Garret metal detector! Have found some pretty COOL STUFF!

I wonder if in the Kansas City area you can get ultra light training??? Being and Iron Work heights never bothered me, in fact the higher the better!
Worked on the two tallest buildings down town, putting up the structural Steel.

On my bucket list is flying! I think with the ultra light, sitting in that open bike like frame would be as close to being a Bird as it can get!

do you own the RV-10?

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/0317111_zpse0e98e7b.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/0317111_zpse0e98e7b.jpg.html)
I bet you'd be able to get ultralight training in KC. Not sure what the requirements are for an ultra light certification, but I'd be willing to bet that if you have a driver's license you won't need to pass a medical. You might try contacting your local EAA (Experimental Aircraft Association) chapters (find them online).

No, I don't own the RV-10. A good friend of mine built it and owns it, but I fly it whenever he's in town from DC. I've logged several hours in that sweet bird!

[MICHAEL]

A picture of THE SAME girl looking for a connection with Aslan,,,, picture on the left, is BEFORE she was told that Aslan was still LOOKING!
PICTURE on the right, was after being told that Aslan wants to devote all his time and energy to reaching that pentacle of Gifted Bowler!


Her remark was this: "I won't LIVE THAT FRICKEN LONG"!!!! I know,,, it looks like Two different women, but its the Same!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/1898857_vb_zps1cfcc1b7.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/1898857_vb_zps1cfcc1b7.jpg.html)

[Aslan]

I think the site is also participating in this nonsense. Every so often I'm getting advertisements related to asian wives and russian/ukraine wives.

On the one hand, how else can a man of nearly 40 get a 21-year old woman that looks like an underwear model?? On the other hand, I'm kinda "done" with foreign born women. I want me an All-American gal.

[MICHAEL]

I think the site is also participating in this nonsense. Every so often I'm getting advertisements related to asian wives and russian/ukraine wives.

On the one hand, how else can a man of nearly 40 get a 21-year old woman that looks like an underwear model?? On the other hand, I'm kinda "done" with foreign born women. I want me an All-American gal.

YOU KNOW BUDDY,,,, ( hope you don't mind me considering you a buddy?) As long as this THREAD is OPEN,,,, WHO KNOWNS on some given day in the future,,, some gorgeous bowing doll, might just drop in!!

You should post some of your best pictures as eye candy for the babes!!!! I know a a guy that did the Russian thing.... wow,,, very nice looking, and the whole thing only cost him around 10,000 bucks.... I might post a picture of him and his mail order bride,,, need to see if I have any?

AND YES,,, Asian wifes, and Lazer lip-O-suction seems to be one of the sponsors,,, I guess??? Not sure how that works??

[rv driver]

I think the site is also participating in this nonsense. Every so often I'm getting advertisements related to asian wives and russian/ukraine wives.

On the one hand, how else can a man of nearly 40 get a 21-year old woman that looks like an underwear model?? On the other hand, I'm kinda "done" with foreign born women. I want me an All-American gal.
You could have always trolled the USBC Queens Tournament...

[Aslan]

You could have always trolled the USBC Queens Tournament...

I don't know…that Latvian chick that one the USBC collegiate event…wows…woo woo!!!

http://i.imgur.com/niyYUIY.jpeg

[fortheloveofbowling]

Dave wodka has already beat you to diana zavjalova ( latvian chick ). Sorry aslan.

[rv driver]

I suppose there's always Simka Gravas (If you're old enough, you'll remember her!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z4iL-3KfPY

[Aslan]

Dave wodka has already beat you to diana zavjalova ( latvian chick ). Sorry aslan.

Wait. What!? Aw man!! If she settled for Dave Wodka then I certainly would have had a chance!!!

Great. Thats going to depress me all dang day.

[MICHAEL]

Wait. What!? Aw man!! If she settled for Dave Wodka then I certainly would have had a chance!!!

Great. Thats going to depress me all dang day.

Forget-about-it! Dave is a 220 average bowler, and its a HUGE turn on for her!!

He is gifted!! (:)

[Aslan]

Forget-about-it! Dave is a 220 average bowler, and its a HUGE turn on for her!!

I know a lot of 200+ average bowlers that aren't scoring a "Diana". But, if thats what it takes...then ole Aslan will have to double his efforts...and reach that USBC Championship level even sooner than originally hoped. If there are a bunch of 21-year old hotties just waiting for me to reach that pinnacle of bowling success in order to mob me...I MUST get my game to the next level!

[Amyers]

I know a lot of 200+ average bowlers that aren't scoring a "Diana". But, if thats what it takes...then ole Aslan will have to double his efforts...and reach that USBC Championship level even sooner than originally hoped. If there are a bunch of 21-year old hotties just waiting for me to reach that pinnacle of bowling success in order to mob me...I MUST get my game to the next level!

Good Luck with that I've been to a lot of tournaments and have never seen any "groupies" especially ones that would be considered hotties.

[rv driver]

Hehe...


"Bowling groupies"...

[MICHAEL]

As Near To Perfect as Possible, looks very important, bowling skills a MUST!
Time is Running OUT!
PLease post a picture of yourself if YOUR desperate too!!
Act NOW, Do not Pass Goal, Get it while it's still HOT! Unlike the ICEMAN!!

http://i1243.photobucket.com/albums/gg546/imagine686868/wanted-poster_zps9b31c9fe.jpg (http://s1243.photobucket.com/user/imagine686868/media/wanted-poster_zps9b31c9fe.jpg.html)