General Reason Why Bowlers (some) Deserve the Decline...

[Aslan]

So I'm bowling with my daughter and 2 of her friends. Really I'm just practicing…but I'm also offering them some minor, basic tips.

So…after a few frames, this old guy on the lane next to them (the girls, I was on the lane on the other side) says something to me. I can't really hear him very well because of the loud music and everything…at first I was assuming that he was commenting on how the girls made a good shot or maybe he saw me strike and was commenting that I made a good shot.

Then I move closer to try and hear him and he says, sort of loudly and a with a little aggravated tone; "Hey 'coach' (said in a slightly snarky way), maybe you can teach them lane courtesy! I mean…we have to wait while they throw 3 balls …come on!"

So…I just say, "okay" and I tell the girls that they need to make sure they wait their turn, etc… That it's "lane courtesy/etiquette". No big deal.

But as I was thinking about it…it really started to bother me. I mean;

1) He could have come over and pulled me aside to ask that I talk to them about lane courtesy…there was no need to raise a stink in front of the kids. All that does is frighten the kids and make them not want to bowl because they feel like they're going to get yelled at by some grumpy, old adult.

2) The derogatory way he said "coach"…it was kinda like he was making fun of me for trying to help teach little kids how to bowl. Like he was judging me or something.

Now, I didn't say or do anything…because I was there as a parent and someone that was entrusted with watching kids…it wouldn't have been appropriate to get in a fight with some old man at a bowling alley. Just too many things could go wrong. And I didn't have a problem with him wanting lane courtesy. But it's the WAY…he did it.

And thats the problem with a LOT of bowlers. I admit…open bowling…sure, I get frustrated too when the high schoolers and college kids start jumping around on the approach when I'm trying to practice. I get it. It can be irritating. And part of you wants to "inform them" of the need for courtesy. I get it. But when it's a CHILD…you should calmly and nicely pull their parent aside and ASK them NICELY to help you out. NOT make a scene. Not throw a PDW fit. Not cuss anyone out. And not make the kids NOT want to bowl anymore.

I used to think we have a shared responsibility to educate casual bowlers regarding bowling etiquette and sport bowling. Now I think we have the shared responsibility to educate OTHER SPORT BOWLERS on how to interact in a positive way future sport bowlers.

--rant over--

[MICHAEL]

I feel your pain,,,, wish I was there, I would have had a Little Older man to Older man talk! That was very rude, my birthday cake and tournament organizer friend!! NO BODY messes with my friends!! I guess you did the right thing having the kids with you, but it must have been hard taking that kind of SMART ASK statement! Your a bigger man then me!! I would have been in his,,, well never mind!!

I am here for you buddy, if you ever need me!! 1800 miles is nothing for ICEMAN!!


the guy was a JERK, plain and simple!

ICEMAN found the guy that gave you grief,,, we met on muscle beach where he was working out with Arnold,,,, below is a Gif of him saying he is SORRY bud!! He was very expressive with his hands....

[Jaescrub]

Aslan you should have just played hella dumb like lane courtesy? What's this lane courtesy your talking about? Then when he explained act like you don't get it ask a ton of questions that always gets under the skin ha ha ha. As for ice man you always post the craziest S on here ha ha ha always funny.

[Aslan]

I like to think of myself as "Non-confrontational out of Survival". What I mean by that is I am a very BIG time bomb…so I need a very, very long fuse. If I had a short fuse I'd have been killed or beaten or be in jail. So, it takes a LOT to get me to explode and a lot to even get me in a confrontation.

I think female bowlers have a bit of an advantage in that regard. I've bowled with females that were fearless in terms of speaking their mind and getting in people's faces. But they have less to lose in that situation because the guy isn't likely to engage tyhem or get physical.

I read an interesting book about that…the differences between men and women in some situations. The book pointed to why guys tend to get quiet and leave a confrontation rather than continue to argue with their female partner. And it has to do with years of training, from childhood in most cases. And men have evolved to realize (in most cases) that:

1) Women are better at talking/arguing than we are…so engaging them on that battlefield is a losing effort.
2) Men's strength is their physical dominance…and we can't use that against the female partner so we're essentially in a gunfight without our gun.
3) Many species, not just humans, truly physically fight only out of absolute necessity because from an evolutionary standpoint, those that fight tend to perish more so than those that don't. They waste energy. They get injured.

There…FREE psychology lesson there.

[Blacksox1]

Good control as a parent, Aslan. You made a good choice. In my own way, I sometimes say; Thanks for your unsolicited opinion, to people like this. Sometimes I follow it up with, do you need a tissue?

[foreverincamo]

I have only one problem with ' lane courtesy" in league play, and that's the guy who wants no one bowling three lanes to either side of him every single time he's up. We're not bowling for big money. One lane to either side and go!

[circlecity]

I agree with old man wanting some lane courtesy but he failed big time on how to get it.

[bowl1820]

lane courtesy?

One time along while back at another house I bowled league at. I came in to open bowl and there was no one there, after I had been there a whiile another person came in and they put him 12 lanes away from where I was.

You guessed it, after a while he came down and started yelling at me for getting on the lanes the same time he did. He said something about how it was better over at the other house , So I said well if it was there's the door, don't let hit you on the way out going over there.

He when back to his lanes bowling some more then left.

[Amyers]

I don't really expect lane courtesy out of bowlers below the age of 12 and it doesn't bother me when I don't get it in open bowling. if for some reason they are bowling next to us on a league night I would go over and explain it to them. For open bowling I usually just look at it as a way to work on my concentration.

[vdubtx]

I don't really expect lane courtesy out of bowlers below the age of 12 and it doesn't bother me when I don't get it in open bowling. if for some reason they are bowling next to us on a league night I would go over and explain it to them. For open bowling I usually just look at it as a way to work on my concentration.

Absolutely agree, except, houses typically give 1 pair buffer during leagues. Every house I have bowled in does this.

For practice time, I could care less if they run up on the lane while I am in my stance and then approach. Concentration and getting used to distractions is all a benefit to a bowler. I have seen people get upset about the snack bar calling an order number to tell it's ready over the speakers, but they never complain about the general noise of balls hitting the pocket which is actually louder than the snack bar intercom anyway. Just another excuse for a bad shot is the way I see it.

Also, it's usually old farts that I see that get all bent out of shape with distractions especially during open bowling.