Contest May 26, 2014 to Jun 01, 2014 - DV8 Diva Pearl

[rv driver]

How This Works:

1) RV Driver wins Diva
2) Gifts to She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed
3) S.W.M.B.O. stops complaining about RV Driver being away on the lanes
4) She gains interest in the game, and begins bowling herself with new Diva Bowling Ball (Thanx to Bowlingball.com)
5) RV & Wife bond more closely due to shared interest, becoming closer as a couple
6) "Couple Cuteness" spreads like warm rays of sunshine throughout the bowling center
7) Like ripples in a pond, good will and love spread into community and on into the world
8) Opposite sides of the aisle in Government come together
9) Major world powers unite in brotherhood
10) world religions join hands in unity
11) Bowling as a sport credited with uptick in worldwide well-being
12) God goes, "Awww...." and bestows grace and blessings upon bowlers everywhere
13) Aslan rolls first 300 game and subsequent 900 series
14) Stops unbearable thread snarkiness
15) World becomes balanced and safe for all humankind

[Amyers]

How This Works:

1) RV Driver wins Diva
2) Gifts to She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed
3) S.W.M.B.O. stops complaining about RV Driver being away on the lanes
4) She gains interest in the game, and begins bowling herself with new Diva Bowling Ball (Thanx to Bowlingball.com)
5) RV & Wife bond more closely due to shared interest, becoming closer as a couple
6) "Couple Cuteness" spreads like warm rays of sunshine throughout the bowling center
7) Like ripples in a pond, good will and love spread into community and on into the world
8) Opposite sides of the aisle in Government come together
9) Major world powers unite in brotherhood
10) world religions join hands in unity
11) Bowling as a sport credited with uptick in worldwide well-being
12) God goes, "Awww...." and bestows grace and blessings upon bowlers everywhere
13) Aslan rolls first 300 game and subsequent 900 series
14) Stops unbearable thread snarkiness
15) World becomes balanced and safe for all humankind

Ha ha that is good. Not sure about Aslans 300 though. He can't get his first

[rv driver]

Ha ha that is good. Not sure about Aslans 300 though. He can't get his first

Also: #13a corollary -- Aslan actually drills and uses all the balls in his closet.

[foxie25]

Now this will make the last piece of my puzzle. Go great with my diva and brutal

[BrandonHarding]

Seems like a lot of people want this for their wife, pretty good hobby to have with your spouse! But you really want the ball for yourselves. You divas.

[ragstormfan]

I guess I may have commented on this once, but whatever! LOL. I should get an extra entry for going through this twice!! LMAO

[vdubtx]

Congrats larry mc on the win.

[Aslan]

How It REALLY Works:

1) RV Driver wins Diva
2) DOESN'T gift it to his spouse
3) She gets mad and calls him names and insults his mother so he throws the ball at her.
4) She gains interest in divorcing him and gets the Dica and the rest of his bowling balls in the divorce settlement
5) RV can't afford to bowl anymore and wife throws all bowling balls in dumpster because she has no interest in it.
6) Bowling balls kill homeless man sleeping in dumpster
7) Bowling balls now considered "dangerous weapons" and require a permit to own.
8) Iceman gets harrassed by ATF for owning too many of these weapons and is ultimately declared mentally unfit to own them and they are confiscated.
9) Iceman no longer has interest in life, wife leaves him, he becomes unibomber hermit.
10) Aslan, sad that he lost the only other person that posts as much as he does becomes more and more snarky and eventually drops an "X" bomb in an arguement about 2-handed bowling and is banned from the site.
11) Without Iceman and Aslan, site dies...bowlingball.com dies....sport as a whole dies.
12) Probowlers fall into deep depression. PDW ODs on cocaine. Belmonte tried to become the next Crocodile hunter and is eaten by a crocodile.
13) Crocodile gets ill from eating a 2-handed bowler and dies.

So as you can see, RV winning means the end of bowling, this site, 2 marriages, and the life of a homeless person and a crocodile. The only beneficiaries are RV's wife and PDW's cocaine dealer.

[Amyers]

So as you can see, RV winning means the end of bowling, this site, 2 marriages, and the life of a homeless person and a crocodile. The only beneficiaries are RV's wife and PDW's cocaine dealer.

I'm sure nothing would be said about the bowling ball collection in your closet or are they only dangerous after holes are put in them?

[rv driver]

I'm sure nothing would be said about the bowling ball collection in your closet or are they only dangerous after holes are put in them?

they're drilled to the same pattern as the holes in his head. ;-P