My son bowled his first tournament this morning

**Jord_84** · 01-26-2009, 12:44 AM

The USBC youth pepsi scholarship tournament.

I learned something about myself this morning......I'm one of those crazy moms.
I don't know if it's a reflex or what, but I found myself yelling "move left" a whole lot.

The hardest part: some parents really need to teach their children lessons in good sportsmanship.
My son doubled his average his first game, and one little girl said some spiteful things and had my son in tears throwing gutters to open his second game.
Thank God he shook it off and started having fun, I think he's got a good chance of advancing.

Any parents or coaches have any words of wisdom for dealing with bullies at events?

**The KingPin** · 01-26-2009, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by Jord_84

The USBC youth pepsi scholarship tournament.

I learned something about myself this morning......I'm one of those crazy moms.
I don't know if it's a reflex or what, but I found myself yelling "move left" a whole lot.

The hardest part: some parents really need to teach their children lessons in good sportsmanship.
My son doubled his average his first game, and one little girl said some spiteful things and had my son in tears throwing gutters to open his second game.
Thank God he shook it off and started having fun, I think he's got a good chance of advancing.

Any parents or coaches have any words of wisdom for dealing with bullies at events?

Wow what a great time to see your son in a tournament. I think its great.

My advice would be to show your son what what it feels like to be on top. Let him know that to be on top that someone is always on the bottom. Sometimes the people on the bottom get mad and someday he will be there too. But point out the attitude that this young girl has. Let him know that when he is in her position, not winning, that he needs to not act like her and be the better player.

It might be hard to understand, but I believe in learning by example. So by seeing players kick the ball returns and yelling does not help anything. He will learn from his environment and be a better player in the future because of it.

Chris

**Jord_84** · 01-26-2009, 02:53 PM

he's 6. I gave him the whole spiel about having fun and simply giving his best. He was so frustrated, he was begging us to leave and actually refusing to get up and take his turn. He was so frustrated that trying to calm him down and talk to him was making a scene. Hopefully, the more competitions he's exposed to, the more comfortable he'll become with dealing with these types of kids

I wouldn't have taken this action in this instance, but doesn't the usbc have rules regarding harrassment?
When do you decide a person has crossed the line and should be reported to an official?

any opinions?

**The KingPin** · 01-27-2009, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by Jord_84

he's 6. I gave him the whole spiel about having fun and simply giving his best. He was so frustrated, he was begging us to leave and actually refusing to get up and take his turn. He was so frustrated that trying to calm him down and talk to him was making a scene. Hopefully, the more competitions he's exposed to, the more comfortable he'll become with dealing with these types of kids

I wouldn't have taken this action in this instance, but doesn't the usbc have rules regarding harrassment?
When do you decide a person has crossed the line and should be reported to an official?

any opinions?

Good question, I will look into the rules as some may already know the answer. I would think that as long as another player is not physically touched it might be weird to stop anything. BUT>>> if the person is having his or hers shot, approach and such affected then yes something is wrong and it is against the rules.

**Jord_84** · 01-27-2009, 12:43 PM

I remember I reported a group of boys from a rival team during a high school match, they were walking up behind us on the approach on the lanes next to us, and mocking us...then when the official came down to look into it, they had started throwing french fries on the approach.

it was great, those boys turned around, saw the IHSA official and had one of those "oh ****" moments.
they were thrown out of the match.

**11 in a row** · 01-29-2009, 03:19 PM

tell him to have fun and roll your stuff...it,s not that important what others think of him anyways just to throw him off his game..

**Jord_84** · 01-31-2009, 09:04 PM

YAY! my son placed 20th out of 148 boys in his division.
we're going to state!
I'm so proud of him!

**onefrombills** · 01-31-2009, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Jord_84

YAY! my son placed 20th out of 148 boys in his division.
we're going to state!
I'm so proud of him!

CONGRATS to him and hope he bowls well in State !!!!!

**ThongPrincess** · 01-31-2009, 11:24 PM

Congrats to your son!

As far as dealing with kids comments, first remember they are kids. I don't know how old the girl who made the comments is, but often young children do not realize the affects of their words. They often echo things they have heard from adults without knowing the context or that adults can be immature and say things out of jealousy.

If a coach from the center where she bowls is around, you might just let him/her know what happened. I would also recommend doing as you did, talking to your son and let him know some people just say things out of their own frustration and point out he did nothing wrong.

Again congrats and best of luck at State!